h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been back in the UK for a year and a half now. Still no Morris dancing on any of my excursions.
I will make watching/participating in Morris dancing or caleigh a goal now.
As for the wine bar, well, I kinda figured you'd answer pub (so would I), but I just couldn't come up with a clever question.

Best film I saw recently was Amelie. Did you see it? I've seen some awful films too, but they're not worth mentioning.
How's the alternative therapies going? Have you been sticking pins in people's feet to cure indigestion yet?

Clever questions do run dry after a few postings I haven't heard of Amelie, what is it like? I don't get to watch as many films as I'd like to. The last film I watched I rented, it was A Clockwork Orange. It's one of those films I had to watch to know what everyone has talked about for all these years. I rather enjoyed it, although I'm not sure what that says about my personality, especially as I watched it to relax one evening after a particularly stressful week

The alternative therapies are getting stranger. While I can understand that music, touch, massage, etc. can help a person feel better, I'm not sure how far I can agree with the module leader on why. We have been given a lot of reading to do. This week I had to read an article on healing touch in preparation for the session on massage tomorrow. The article explained that healing touch worked by re-alligning the energy field that surrounds an indervidual I think touch is very important but I don't think it has anything to do with energy fields, I just think that it's another form of communication and helps to make someone feel comfortable and relaxed. I can't remember the specifics, but studies have been done on the subject. The subjects are introduced to two people, neither smile and both say the same thing in the same way. The only difference is that one person briefly touches the hands of the subjects. The subjects person the person who touched them to be friendly and when describing the person, I think they state that she smiled although she didn't. Well, all this touchy-feely stuff makes for an interesting Thursday.

I'm not looking forward to the social science lecture though. The lecturer has very long, metalic silver fingernails that she flicks together while she talks. It is very annoying and extremely distracting. I never focus on a word she says (other than the 'Okay' she mentions twice a sentence).

How is work? Have you got over enforced chatting for half hour stretches?

Arrgh! Never press the back button on your browser while writing a message for h2g2. When you return to the posting page, the message gets wiped out. I found this out just now when I wrote you a brilliant, witty and inciteful inspired piece of genius. Unfortunately, you'll never get to read it because I accidentally erased the whole thing.

Anyway, sorry I haven't replied for a while. Its all the usual excuses I'm afraid, but mainly I've had to do some real work for a change.

Deackie's review of Clockwork Orange - an enjoyable film, ideal to relax and alleviate stress.
So did you think The Shining was a lighthearted comedy, fun for the whole family. I suppose you thought Silence of the Lambs was a cooking show and a good alternative to the Naked Chef.

I agree with you 100% about alternative therapies. Touch therapy and the like really seem to have a positive effect (at least psychologically), but that bit about aligning your energy fields is a bunch of bull. Its particularly bad because students generally don't question what they're told in class. You're being misinformed and people in the class are then going to repeat what they've been told and present it as fact.

I've had plenty of lecturers like the robo-fingernails one. When I was bored in class I'd draw mazes and doodle. I remember trying to study for the exam in one particularly boring class. But when I looked through my notes, there was nothing but page after page of really intricate mazes. By the end of that class I'd graduated to 3 dimensional mazes and I can now draw quick little mazes as a party trick!

Here's a good one for you, what which film or book most resembles your life so far and explain why...

That really *is* a tricky question. How do I answer without putting my foot in it? Contrary to the ideas of a lot of researchers my life has been nothing like Carry-On Nursing I could really scare you and say 'A Clockwork Orange' I can feel the cogs in my brain whirring just trying to decide on an answer. I don't think any film or book exists that could resemble my life and I don't think people would believe some of the events in my life if they were dramatised. I've said on a number of occassions that Robert Rankin's novels are my brain captured in paperback. Part of it could well be One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest but that is a very long story and would require a lengthy explanation. Why are psychotic people attracted to me? I even got accosted by one on the bus this evening. Apparantly I was being most rude by trying to get into her mind and would I stop it. She then warned me about all kinds of weird things, I think she was telling me I was going to be brutally attacked too. Then she went into prophecy mode and told me the slayer would come. Yes, I'll definitely go for One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest as my answer. If you want any other interesting, amsuing and bizare anecdotes of psychotic people you'll have to ask

What about you? You can't ask a question like that and not answer it yourself

I don't usually watch horror movies on the grounds that I laugh The best laugh I had was watching the exorcist, that was hilarious. OK, I'm odd, guilty as charged. I have a nasty, dark subversive side, it's always the quiet, sensible looking ones you have to watch out for. At least I know what wine to drink when eating human flesh, I suppose wouldn't compliment it at all (maniacally probably).

Thursay will be good fun. In the morning we are doing 'show and tell' and in the afternoon we're cutting up magazines and making collages. How old are we again?

Hey Deackie!
I just had corrective laser surgery on my eyes this morning.
Yaay! I don't have to wear contact lenses or glasses any more. .

Anyway, I'd love to send you a big long message but I really shouldn't stare at a computer screen for long. I just logged on to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day!

I should never ask a question that I don't know how to answer!
I'm tempted just to name all my favourite books and movies. When I have to deal with bureaucracy, my life always resembles Brazil. On a good day, my sense of humour is a cross between John Cusack's character in Grosse Point Blank and the English bloke from the movie Go.
I most resemble Jabba the Hut from Star Wars (just kidding).
When I get really focussed on a task, or when I'm feeling ambitious at work, which I'm not right now, then I identify with Ethan Hawke's character from Gattaca.
I'm not really satisfied with my answer.
Why were you trying to get into that girl's mind on the bus? Don't you know its rude to read other people's thoughts without permission. No wonder she was upset.
I know someone who once worked as an intern in the White House (no, not that famous/infamous intern!). Anyway, she said that a lot of the mail they got was from harmless paranoid schizophrenics. Like this,

Dear President Clinton,
Hi Bill! I'm one of your biggest fans. I thought you might like to know that the russians have been monitoring my brain waves for several years now. I think you should get the FBI on this right away. Oh, and they told me who shot JFK.
Yours cordially,
An absolute loony.
P.S. Martians follow me every day on the way to work. Could I get some Secret Service protection please.

How was 'Show and Tell?' It sounds like you and my 6 year old niece are in the same class.

Back to alternative therapies. Touch therapy rocks! During laser surgery, the assistant was holding my arm or touching my hand the whole time. I doubt it made the laser work any better, but it was very relaxing and gave me a favourable impression of the whole procedure.
I'm looking forward to the follow-up appointment!

Thank you for the lovely valentine's wishes. Hope you had a good day. I managed to survive by going down the pub with a friend. It was empty. Apart from my friend and I, the only other two people were another customer and the barman. They were complaining about everyone else being at home with their significant others

I know probing people's minds is rude, but I didn't realise she'd notice, most people dont.

Show and tell was rather dull really although my lecturer gave us all a scented rose petal and a heart chocolate, and when we returned to the same room for our next lecture she'd written valentine's greetings to us all on all the boards.

I don't know how you managed to have laser therapy done. I'd be so scared, and unlike any other treatment, you can't look the other way. I'm pleased it went well. Somone touching your arm or hand really is comforting. I had to have minor surgery at the beginning of January and I was so glad of the HCA who held my hand. They'll get suspicious at the clinic if you keep returning to have your eyes done

Work, deadlines, meetings, busy busy busy, a full in tray and an empty out tray. Overseas visitors, applications, publications, seminars etc...

I'm swamped.
If I'm a bit slack in replying, now you know why.

I know how you feel. I think I finally tried to do too much this week and sucumbed to the general grottiness I was feeling and came down with the lurgy. Hopefully the last of it will disappear soon.

Hope you have a better week this week. Here's a 'therapeutic'

I've got a Friday deadline at work that I'm racing to meet, but I'm going a bit nutty so I need this quick break to say 'Hi!'

My overseas visitors just left. It was a work-related visit so I was on my best behaviour. Its surprising how stressful and tiring something like that is. Perhaps its just because you have to be nice all the time, since you have no idea what will offend. That stated, though, they were Dutch so I doubt there's much that would offend them.

Laser surgery was painless. Almost... remember the bit in Clockwork Orange where they force his eyes open so that he has to watch the movies. Well, they put tape over my eyebrows and eyelashes to keep them out of the way. The only bit that hurt was when they have to take the tape off.

Actually the whole thing was much, much less painful than a visit to the dentist. And they gave me x-ray vision as a free bonus!

What's 'lurgy' ? Another British expression I don't know?
I hope you're better now...

You seem to be working late to meet that deadline. Make sure you have a really relaxing evening tomorrow to make up for it, especially after the stress of having to be on your best behaviour for the Dutch visitors.

Sticky tape's horrible. I give blood and I have absolutely no problem with needles at all. I always feel queezy a day later though when I have to take the plaster off my arm. I'm sure that's not quite sane

'Lurgy' - it's just nonsense really, English slang for a non-specific, yucky illness. Applies in hundreds of situations. I've just looked it up in my dictionary on the off-chance and it's actually in there! It states that it was probably invented by the Goon Show in the 1950s. Well, I learn something new everyday. Kind of appropriate as Spike Milligan died recently. I'm feeling much better now anyway

I'm just trying to organise my life so that I can fit in everything I need to get done in the small space of time I seem to have to do it in. I've done OK today (I think). I'll probably remember everything I've forgotten just as I'm feeling asleep.

Hope you make your deadline without too much stress. Have a pleasant and relaxing weekend

'working late to meet that deadline' - yep, but those b***tards keep pushing back the deadline. And now they said that my submission can be a couple of pages longer, so they've just given me enough extra to do that I'll remain busy.

After seeing the word Lurgy in your posting I think I've heard it several times since. Funny how things happen in groups like that.

Last week was a bit strange. It seemed that every time I crossed the street there was a blind guy needing help. I'd never helped someone cross the street before in my life. I thought it was completely strange until I realised that there was a class for the blind in the area and I'd been getting in to work at the same time the class started.

Glad to hear you recovered. I hope the life organising is going well. If it isn't, you can always just stuff all the tricky stuff under the bed. They won't be gone, but at least your life will look neat and tidy.

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I've not been on h2g2 for the last fortnight.

Did you make the deadline? The life organising is OK, shoving the messy bits under the bed sounds like a very good idea, and I'm not due to get stressed about my next lot of assignments for another couple of weeks yet. How are things going?

Life is good, crazy, weird and exciting.
Just the way it should be.

My deadline was made just in time.

Speaking of time, its about time I started decorating my threadbare flat. Any suggestions?

Decorating... hmmmm. The important thing about decorating is that you should spend time considering and planning. Peruse the colour charts. Trawl around every DIY shop within a 25 mile radius. Then shut your eyes, pick any colour, slap it all over the walls, because it's guaranteed that whichever paint you choose you're going to change your mind as soon as you've finished.

What is your flat like? It makes a big difference to what you should do. Is it light or dark? Does it have high or low ceilings? Are the rooms large or small? I love a subtle yellow or a warm cream on walls. It makes the place very light, airy and warm and then stronger colours can be brought in with the furnishings. I don't like busy-ness in decoration. Keep it simple. Just my humble opinion.

I'm pleased life is good, crazy, weird and exciting. My life borders on the weird at times but I'm stuck in that awful rut of routine at the moment. It's essential for the smooth running of my life at the moment as it's the only way I can be guaranteed of fitting everything in and remaining organised and staying de-stressed, but it gets dull. I think I need to find some time for some craziness. Any ideas?

Hey Deackie!
It seems we're both getting slow in our responses. This is good I suppose. It means we actually have other things to do.
By decorating I was thinking of a couple of framed posters and potted plants. But I agree with you completely on painting, and if I was going to paint, I'd do it just the way you described.
My flat is a spacious 2 floor, 3 bedroom, in the heart of chelsea. It comes complete with a driveway and a garden that leads into a small stream and an aviary and greenhouse.
Yeah, right!
Actually, its a cramped one bedroom near Finsbury Park. The living room has been converted into a second bedroom for my flatmate. The walls are actually a 'warm cream' but its mixed with old stains and an ugly purplish brown carpet. The one plus is that I have a terrace balcony that must be the envy of all my neighbours and that's great for summer barbeques.
Life in a rut. Hmmm. Well, you should come to London more often. That's where all the craziness resides. There's always a million things going on here to spice life up. It depends what you like.
By the way, I'm running the Marathon. Check out the link at the top of my page.

I've managed a fairly swift reply. Must be all that talk of ing. rather you than me. Good luck with the training. One of my friends is walking the London Marathon for a breast cancer charity. All the walkers complete the course over night. She's finding it tough. What made you decide it would be a good idea?

Potted plants are essential, go out and get some now I had a mad urge to buy potted plants recently and it wasn't until I got them home I realised that I wasn't sure where to put them. They have all been re-potted and they all have a place. So everything is fine? Not quite. I too have rather a small flat. I turned to my little book on how not to kill houseplants to make sure I didn't over/under water them. My 3 new houseplants, which look just the right size and fit so well into my room, all grow to a height of about 4ft! Thankfully my other plants all remain a lot smaller.

If you've got cream walls then perhaps some bright colourful pictures with dark frames. Something that will contrast with the existing decor. My main room is a pale green (with brown damp patches of course) and over my fire place I have a picture that I stitched all in blue and it's in a fairly thick blue frame. It breaks the walls up. A balcony sounds wonderful. I have a large garden but it's shared with the 5 other flats. Luckily my flat gets a lot of natural daylight and I have a good view of the sea. When I want to sit outside in the summer I tend to go down the beach and read, it's about 5 minutes walk away. It's been so hot these past few days that a lot of people have been down the seafront. Thankfully most of the DFLs have returned to London

I'll make no link between craziness residing in London and the Marathon I think I'll give everything up and work in a shoe-shop. It was my life's ambition when I was about 4 years old. It would certainly make a change too I just think I need to find more effective ways to relax. My problem is that I never wind down. Aha! I'll have to plan and schedule some spontaniety in my diary I think London is a little too crazy for me. I'm so used to being in the sort of town where bicycles are a common form of transport, cars stop to let pedestrians and each other past, and all the shops close on a Wednesday afternoon. I get a culture shock just venturing into a large supermarket.

I need to get to bed. Another exciting day tomorrow. I have to make sure I get up early so that I can beat the other tennants to the washing line. It's all go in my busy life Have a great day.

Hey Deackie!
I hadn't even thought of walking the Marathon.
Darn. Now why did I do all that training when I could just do a leisurely stroll?
Ummm... I never decided it was a good idea. I came to the conclusion that it was a stupid idea once I started training, though.
I'd thought about running it before and made it sort of a New Year's Resolution to do it.
Still probably better than my cousin. He got very drunk one night and woke up in a strange bed not knowing how he got there. The girl next to him worked for a charity that had positions available for the Marathon. She turned to him and said "You know what you signed up to do last night?"
Yep. He'd registered for the Marathon the same way people end up joining the French foreign legion!
I'm all sorted on the potted plants bit. The balcony is more like a large terrace. The previous tenants had left a lot of pots out there. I thought there was nothing but dirt in the pots, but now they've all started blooming. I wonder what they are?
Lucky you. I like London weather and I can put up with most of the hassles. But how I wish there was a beach! Even on cold, wet and windy days I still like to walk on the beach.
Hey, how are the waves? Can you surf or windsurf or anything like that there?
What's a DFL? In Florida the winter tourists are called snowbirds. I'm guessing the letters stand for something like that.

Spontaneity requires careful planning. This is not something to enter into lightly! You should set a special date and time to be spontaneous. Perhaps you should practice a few times before you actually do it. One can never be too meticulous with this sort of thing.

Some day, if you try hard enough, and wish upon a star, and keep focused, and have a little bit of luck, you just might work in a shoe shop.
Its good to have a dream!

We have a lot of water sports around here. No surfers because the beach is in a natural harbour and so sheltered. When it is windy like today we get waves enough for wind surfing though. We have a lot of yachting around here and every so often barge races. Blasted jet skis annoy me though. The sea's good for swimming in around here. It's warmer than further round the coast because of the shelter of the harbour and it's deep too so you don't have to wade out for miles. I don't know if I should tell you what a DFL is, you may be offended... oh, OK. It stands for Down From London. The town I live in is a popular weekend getaway for Londoners, unfortunately they're not very popular with the locals because they've bought up all the local property and pushed house prices through the roof. They stand out like a sore thumb too, they like to dress in chuncky fisherman's jumpers and sailing gear despite going no where near the water. We now have a whole row of shops that seem to only open at the weekend when the DFLs are around. I've nothing against Londoners of course

I love it when plants grow that you never knew were there and you have no idea what they are. It makes gardening more exciting when you haven't got a clue what's going to grow or what they look like.

I think you're right about the spontaniety practice, it's not something I should just run into until I know what I'm doing. I'll give it some thought. You're right about needing a dream too. In my darkest hour I know I can cling on to the knowledge that working in a shoe shop may still be an attainable goal.

Windsurfing woohoo! Seems I'll definitely have to make a trip to the coast soon now that its getting warmer. I'll be a DFL and all the locals can look down on me.
Jet skis can be very annoying. A lot of coastal communities have restrictions and they can only be used in certain places. They're also a lot of fun so that's probably the best option.
The Marathon's fast approaching. I may even skip my midweek drinking binge. Seems I'm really taking this training thing seriously.
Saturday I trained for real and a loop around northeast London. I went along the canals and it took me through Hackney Marshes. Its a wonderful area and felt more like rural Florida in winter than London in early spring. There I was feeling all athletic and cool when 3 elderly women whizzed past me. They better be elite Marathon runners otherwise I'll feel really out of shape.