h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hiya Kelli
I just read your message in that 'feeling fat' thread I started. But I didn't want to reply there. So I hope you don't mind me replying here.

I just wanted to say that your experiences just go to show how many ignorant people there are about.
Being fat is not a disease, although from some peoples behaviour you'd think it was. Thay assume that because you are a few sizes larger than what 'society' considers normal, you have no feelings.

Well to the lot of them! They are the losers. Anyone that can only judge people by appearance alone must be so shallow they aren't worth acknowleging.

The reason I didn't reply in the main thread was cos I didn;t want to appear like I was just sucking up to you, getting on the band wagon of ' I hate people like that'

My wife Clare feels fat since she had our last kids, and she gets so depressed about it. That's kinda why I started the thread, to judge peoples attitudes to weight these days.
Seems like most people are still very narrow minded

I love Clare they way she is, but then love is blind. I would still fancy her if she was the size of a house. I don't like seeing her unhappy though, so I want to do all I can to make her feel better about herself.

I guess I just gotta offer lots of support, keep reminding her how great she looks, and keep her morale up.

Or I could try and change societies view of what fat is.

Speak soon

Simon

I don't mind you replying here, everyone is welcome!

for Clare, you are doing the right thing in supporting her and telling her how great she looks. And if she ever decides to do something about it then she will need lots of encouragement then too, but not until she decides for herself.

Good luck with changing society *suspects that is like p******g in the wind* I thought it would be easier to lose 6 stone than do that - and sadly I am probably right!

Thanks for stopping by...

k

Hey, you mean convincing a woman she looks good isn't P*****g in the wind???? lol.

Clare has already decided to do something about it, which I initially objected to, told her she had enough on her plate looking after two kids without wasting time on a diet she didn't need.

But she's still pretty determined, so I want to find out as much as I can about dieting and stuff to try and help (without lecturing her)

Time and energy are the biggest problems, I'd love to be able to go down the gym, or swimming with her everynight, that would do us both the world of good, but with a new born baby, it's a bit impracticle.

So for now we are concentrating on food, and doing as much exercise as we can at weekends.

Can I pop back here and bug you for advice from time to time Kelli?
I'd really appreciate that.

Cheers

Simon

Of course you can bug me any time you like, can't promise to be useful though!

Time and energy are always the biggest problems for everyone! For me, all the dieting in the world doesn't work without increased exercise, so maybe you could take turns to look after the little'un so that the other person can get down the gym - it would be lovely to go together if you can but if not, then you could give her the chance to go on her own a couple of times a week?

If you agree times when you take care of the baby then she will have fixed times to go and exercise and these are much harder to wriggle out of when she doesn't really fancy going - it is a good way to support her aims without nagging!

I wish my long-suffering boyfriend was a researcher so I could point you to him for tips on coping with a dieting bird. He does very well in the face of my frequent mood-swings over the whole thing! Don't oppose her any more, just tell her how well she is doing - and get her to measure herself, especially around the flabby bits. I really wish I had done that at the start because often when the scales aren't showing much change your body shape keeps on changing and it is very encouraging.

As for diet, mine is a pretty full-on affair but then I have a lot to lose. Have you thought about the weight watchers points plan? Lots of people tell me it is really good, and easy to incorporate into a normal life.

Good luck, let me know how she gets on

k

Cheers Kelli, some really good advice there

I'm still not too sure about taking turns with the kids and going down the gym. it's kinda hard to explain to people who don't have kids, but we just don't want to leave them. We are obsessed with our two, they are so wondeful.
I miss them so much when I'm at work all day, I'd hate to go out in the evenings. And even tho Clare has them all day, she loves me being able to take them so she can kick back and relax.
When you have kids you realise how little personal time you have with each other. So we both make the most of every opportunity to be together. I think Clare would honestly hate the idea of leaving me with the kids and going to the gym alone. I will suggest it to her though, cos I love having both the kids to myself.

Hopefully once this weather gets a bit nicer, I can get her to come and meet me from the station every night. It's about a 15 minute walk, but up a steep hill, so that would be a good source of regular exercise for her. Plus it gets her out the house, which is important if she's been cooped up all day.

Great idea about measuring herself. Never even thought of that. She was a bit down that the scales didnt register any change this week, but I don't want her to loose it too fast. a pound or so a week is fine.

Talking of scales, I haven't the heart to tell her I've lost half a stone since she started her diet. I been eating the same healthier foods for dinner too, and it's really made a difference. I feel terrible tho, I'm not sleeping at nights and I dont have half the energy I used to lol. Probably doing me plenty of good though

I'm not bad at handling Clare's mood swings, remember she was pregnant for the last nine months! They are real mood swings, not these half hearted attempts you get once a month or when the scales show more than you thought lol.
So as I coped with that, I think I can handle anything now. I'd never oppose her on anything, like any sensible woman she has me wrapped around her little finger. and honestly there's nowhere I'd rather be.

We are on the weight watchers meals, and she's eating fruit whenever she feels peckish. she's only drinking orange juice, cut out all the coke and crap she used to live on. (coca cola that is, not hard drugs lol)

Once the kids are both asleep, we try and do a few sit ups or a bit of exercise of some sort, but it's fallen by the wayside a bit of late. need to make it a more permanent thing.
Clare only manages about 10 sit ups before collapsing, and I haven't the heart to push her too much harder cos I know how tired she is.

I wish I could borrow her body and do it for her lol.

Right, I'm here to bug you already !

It's Clare's birthday in a weeks time and I wanted to get her some clothes. Trousers or jeans in particular.

What's best, do I buy her the size she is now, or the size lower 'cos that's what she plans to be soon?

And........ how the heck do womens sizes work??? lol I know she's a 14 but whats that in inches for waist size of jeans???? I think it's about 30 or so right? Can't find any size charts on the net

Now you understand why us blokes are so hopeless at buying you girls clothes, it's all too confusing for our silly little brains.

Cheers in advance
Simon the

Wow, you are a brave man! I struggle to get clothes for myself and even when I try them on I sometimes get the size wrong! I think buying clothes while dieting is a difficult thing. You don't really want to buy things that fit you now, because that is like admitting defeat before you even start. At the same time, you don't want to buy something that you might not be able to wear for ages either. I can't advise what Clare might like, but I'd avoid the whole clothing issue entirely!

Womens sizes are a pain in the bum because a size 14 in one shop is totally different to a sive 14 in another - and it is such a long time since I bought a size 14 anything I couldn't begin to guess how big that is in inches! Sorry I can't help you with that, I did say I couldn't promise to be useful

If you help her measure herself for fitness purposes then you can sneakily find out what size waist she has for jeans.

I was thinking about how you might find time to exercise more together - do you have a video? You could get a couple of exercise vids and do those at home together of an evening. If your older one is big enough then they can join in too! I used to do vids before I got myself down the gym - they are quite good fun.

My living room isn't very big and is quite narrow so I had to adapt the routines a bit - I could go side to side but not forward and back so I had to do a quick quarter turn before the forward and back bits. Most of the vids I have seen can be done in sections so you just do whatever you have time for. I've got a Rosemary Conley one that I really like (although she herself scare me with her big head and rock-solid hair), and a Lorraine Kelly one with Jenny rivetts that is good too. I have got a Tae bo one that I hate and never do and an Ann Diamond one that was a real mistake.

Anyway, sorry I couldn't be more helpful about the clothing thing, maybe because I have only now got down to an 18-20 from 24-26 I have a real horror of clothes shopping - And because I am in the middle of my diet I am wearing old things that are a bit tight that I have from before I put on lots of weight, and my big clothes held up with safety pins because it isn't worth buying anything that fits me now!


k

Ahh on the contrary, that was a very useful reply indeed.
I'm not going to chicken out of buying them though, even if I do risk my very life if I get the size slightly wrong. I like living dangerously, and I'll be sure to keep the receipt too lol.

I forgot about different shops being different sizes, I've heard Clare complain about that many times, so that will be a good excuse to use if she is insulted by the size I pick. Ta for reminding me.

I think because Clare is so determined to lose weight, she is refusing to buy any new clothes until she drops a size. If I don't buy her some new clothes, I know she wont buy them for herself and she does badly need some new trooosers.
I think I'll go for the size that fits now. But with a promise to buy her a brand new pair as soon as they get too big for her. That way hopefully she'll feel that she's not giving up her target by wearing them and they wont sit in the wardrobe unused for 6 months.

Excellent idea about the sneaky tape measure! You have a very crafty mind, lol. I just need to buy a tape measure now, I don't think it's a good idea to use the metal Stanley one in my tool box. It's a bit sharp on the edges! I wouldn't want it anywhere near my personal bits anyway lol. But Clare's always been a bit kinky. I'll suggest it for a laugh.

Videos! perfect, why I didn't think of that. My eldest is 2 and a half now, he'd love joining in copying the actions, pity the tweenies dont make an exercise vid tho lol. That is something we could all do together and make really fun. The bouncing floorboards would probably rock our youngest off to sleep too.

Do you think an exercise vid would make a good birthday presie? I'm a bit dubious about that, I mean it's not exactly a flattering gift is it. Nah, think I'll just get her to choose one for us. I'd get an earbashing for picking one with a sexy lady in lol.

Wow, congrats on how much weight you've lost. I can never work out how many pounds in an ounce but going from a 26 to an 18 is some achievement. atta girl!
You probably think that Clare's being silly dieting when she's only a size 14. I think she is anyway, cos she looks great now. But she wants to get back to the shapre she was before having the kids, and I can understand that.
I got in a bit of a row with my mate Sean last night, cos he said I liked tubby girls (sounds like a school yard fight lol). I was offended cos it sounded like he was calling Clare fat. but now I've sobered up a bit, I think I'll take it as a compliment. I do like tubby girls, I do like thin girls, I just like girls for being girls. I'm glad I'm not so shallow to judge people on appearance alone. I know I'm a thousand times happier in my marriage than he is. So who's the winner? Some peoples attitues to weight do annoy me though.

Sorry to ramble on, sure you have a million better things to do than listen to me waffle.
take care and thank you so very much for your kind and helpful advice.

Simon

Just a quick update.
Clare loved the idea of a fitness video

She's put me in charge of buying it though, so I'll have to have a browse through Woolies tonight.

I wonder what she'll think of 'The Lesbo Blonde Nurses mud wrestling fitness video' Hmmmmmmm lol, Don't worry I'm kiddin'!

I'll make a note of the ones you recommended.
Thank you once again Kelli, you star!

*huggles*

Simon the

Glad she likes the idea

It can be tough picking the right one though, if you are reasonably fit (sounds like you are both fitter than I was when I started) then maybe some of the dancey ones might be good. My Rosemary Fat Attack one is good, it is not too complicated and has different levels in each workout - so you do the same routine but work harder if you are feeling up to it. Not sure the lesbo nurses will be appropriate for your little boy

I don't think Clare is silly for wanting to lose weight from a 14 to a 12. Now if she was a 10 and wanted to be an 8 then I would worry! The thing is to find the weight that suits you - I hope to be a 14-16 one day - I think that is realistic for me and I'd be happy that way. As with most things, finding the right balance is the key.


k

PS stop waving that about! It is making me hungry!

I'll keep my well out of your reach!
But I just can't stop waving it about, that's what s are for!

Tell you what, I'll hide my (that sounds very rude!) if you stop flashing that at me.

I've stopped the regular beers, upon your very own suggestion I believe
I did go out for a few with the lads last night, but I'm strictly on the diet cokes at lunchtimes now.

I never realised how slow the afternoons drag on .

I'll let ya know what vid I get.

Cheers Kelli

Simon the ('cos I know you wouldn't eat one of those!)

Hiya.
TGIF!!!

After spending about 30 minutes reading the back covers of countless fitness vids (luckily they were right under the footy vids, so I didn't feel too embarrassed browsing through them)
I settled for Rosmary Conly's Five step Fat plan. 'Cos you'd said one of hers was your fave.
I couldn't bring myself to buy Helen from big brothers tape, or Geri Yoga aarrrggghh! lol.

Only problem was, when I got it home, Clare told me she can't stand Rosmary She's 'Too patronising'. So she's gone to exchange it today. Hope she picks something good and not tai bo, or that P think I can't remember the name of. Pulatis or sommink. You ever tried that?

Still I did manage to get her two nice pairs of trousers, so I'm pleased with that at least.

Have yourself a great weekend Kelli.

Hey, where did my reply to this go?

I completely agree with Clare about St Rosemary , but I do get on well with her vids because I can do them at differentlevels depending on my weight/energy levels.

So which one did she get, and have you done it yet? The weather was so lovely at the weekend I wouldn't be surprised if you went out instead though - wasn't it a beautiful weekend? I've never tried pilates, it is meant to be good but it is more about stretching and control (a bit like yoga) than aerobic exercise.

Well done on the trouser selection, that was very speedy! Am very impressed.

Was mugged by my scales this morning - unofficially weighed myself yesterday and the day before and it was looking like I had lost 2 pounds for the week, but when i did my 'official' weigh-in this morning and they were back.

Ah well, hopefully it will be easier to show a loss this week now because I have kind of lost them already

(I agree with your request to remove the )

k with freckles from the sun

Hiya Kelli,

h2g2 has a habit of nicking my replies too. There's probably a giant thread of unreceived replies somewhere

Clare forgot to take the video out shopping with her (hmmm convenient!!! lol), so she couldn't exchange it. So we didn't get a chance to try anything out this weekend. Bit dissapointing, but it was a genuine mistake, so I didn't say anything.

We had a great weekend thanks the weather was indeed wonderful. About time summer got here wasn't it.

Don't congratulate me on the trooosers until she's tried them on. she might hate them! lol I'm quietly optimistic though. Partly because she's already had her birthday pressie from me, an eternity ring, so she isn't really expecting anything else.
So, hopefully, no matter how bad my choice, the surprise will be a nice one

We had some friends over for Sunday lunch yesterday, and I was well impressed with how Clare resisted Chocolate cake for desert, and she also gave away the box of belgium chockkys they brought her. Good girl!

Awww sorry to hear about your scales. thats just cruel! I thought you were only supposed to weigh yourself once a week to avoid that happening?? What kinda scales have you got? Clare just forked out for a nifty electric pair, and I must admit, they are deadly accurate. It's someties nice to have a bit of leeway in there to make you feel better tho.

We gave Clares bits and bobs a measure with the tape this weekend too, so it will be interesting to see how they change compared to the weight.

Take care mate, and thanks for your interest

Si

Hi Kelli, how are you doing?

Just a quick update, Clare's off to exchange that vid tonight, I wonder what she'll replace it with.
Oh and she weighed herself last night, and she's lost 7 lbs in 3 months
Well impressed with her.

I'm still totally awed by the amount of weight you have managed to lose. And the fact you are still going. How long has it taken you to get this far?

Speak soon
Simon

Morning Simon,
7lbs in 3 months sounds quite good for somebody that doesn't have too much to lose, quite a sensible rate. Tell her well done from me!

I have been doing this diet and exercise thing since 19th February - the day I got the photos developed from my trip to forn parts. I couldn't believe how big I looked so i decided to do something about it. It works out at roughly 2 lbs a week, although I had some spectacular drops at first and some long, soul-destroying plateaux in the middle. I need to lose at least the same again but it will take a long, long time.

One of the other researchers, Conceited Little Megapuppy, described it as the 'loneliness of the long distance dieter' and has written an excellent entry on losing weight. She has been at it for a year and has lost double what I have so I know it can be done!

I've started using the weight/resistance machines in the gym this week and as a result my arms are really stiff. Have you seen those 'Free your arms' ads? That is what I was like yesterday I spent ages stretching them last night so it is a bit better now - I can see I'll have to be careful with all this!

How is your man-diet coming along? Now you've stopped boozing at lunchtimes I expect you've lost about a stone? Man-diets are very annoying...

k

Hiya Kelli,
Sorry for the delay in replying, been a bit hectic lately.

Wow congrats and admiration for persevering so well with your diet. I guess that's when most people give up, when they are putting all this effort in, and nothing seems to be happening. Well done for staying with it. Ya strong willed thing you


Which forn parts did you go to? Not going to be getting anywhere exotic this year cos of our little bundle of joy (unless you count Norfolk as exotic), so I need to hear all about other peoples hols to keep me going

Sounds like conceited little megapuppy has been quite an influence on your diet and persistance, I must go check out her article. I'd like to say you've been a real help to Clare and I. Not just for the great advice, but because it keeps it in my mind more when I chat about things with you.

Clare changed that video for Joanne Halls 5 step something or other. And we did about 20 minutes of the warm up last night.
Was a right giggle, Charlie, our son, just loved copying all the actions and jumping around. I can't thank you enough for that idea

We aren't sure whether to do it 3 times a week for 20 minutes, or every day for 10. I think everyday will probably get us in a better routine, and Clare's gonna try and do a bit more if she gets half hour to herself during the days too.

She's lost 9 lbs now, and an inch off both legs (not height lol)
so she's over the moon with the results, and I'm pretty proud of her myself

Hmmm the man diet seems to have stumbled a little. Still off the beers at lunch time But I do seem to be eating more for lunch
I have lost half a stone, but to be honest, I wouldn't want to lose anymore. Been a skinny git all my life, and I finally managed to put some weight on when I moved in with Clare. It really doesn't help that she is such a fantastic cook.

Oh and Clare loved the trousers I bought for her Birthday on Friday, but as predicted, wrong size ! Right waist, wrong length . She's changed them already though. I took the day off work to be with her too, which she seemed to like

Take care

Si

Boo Hoo You ignoring me ?

Just kidding, but it seems that you are such a popular lass on h2g2, if I don't reply when you are online, my post (above) gets burried and you never get to see it.
Least I hope that's the reason, and you're not just bored silly of me rambling on about Clare all the time, that has been known.

Hows tricks anyway Kelli? I notice the pounds lost has gone up a bit lately in your name Nice work!

Hi Simon,
Not ignoring you I promise! I've just been in and out of the office a lot in the past couple of days. Looks like my current contract is on its last legs so I am trying to surreptitiously hunt for a job while appearing busy at the current job - not an easy feat! Especially as I am away from home so don't have access to my personal PC and have to use the one at w*rk.

My current fantasy is that I will find either a permanent or contract job back in London - I am really missing the boyfriend a lot and it would be wonderful to be able to be together every day instead of just 8 o'clock Friday night to 5.30 Monday morning.

Am also within a whisker of winning H2IQ so that gets priority treatment when I do get online

Glad that you all (Charlie included) are enjoying your vid so much. What is it like, is it one I should add to my collection? Did you get the wrong length trousers because of the inch Clare lost off of her legs (ho ho ho)?! Not sure which frequency is best for doing the exercise, but I would go for every day personally, and when you have extra time and/or energy keep going for a bit longer.

47 lbs lost now - hooray! It sort of makes up for the mugging last week. A friend of mine is giving up smoking at the moment so we have set ourselves a target each to achieve for the end of September and the reward for hitting the target is to have a weekend away at a health spa being pampered. I've got to lose another 16 lbs so it will be hard work!

Anyway, something has just popped up on jobserve so I'll be off for now...

ttfn
k

Hi k,
Whoops, sorry to badger you for a reply. I forget that other people have propper jobs where they actually have to 'Work'

Thanks for taking the time to reply tho matey

Sorry to hear about the mugging last week, that's never a nice experience, hope you weren't too shaken up by it.

Good luck with the job hunting, you're in Systems analysis or something right? Always plenty of demand for that sort of think in London, so I'm sure something will crop up. Got me fingers crossed for ya.

Only a whisker away from winning the H2IQ quiz eh, I just signed myself upto that one. Greebo seems to have stopped doing his weekly email quiz that I loved so much. Might give you a run for your money, if I can ever be quick enough with the reply.
I love mental questions like that, helps keep the brain in shape.

Still doing the exercise vid nightly I'm well impressed with Clare, she's alot fitter than I though. She's been doing 30 mins a night.
Charlie's had his foot trodden on and a few clouts round the ear from waving arms, but he's still loving it, and learning to keep out of mums way. Me and him start off following the vid, then end up doing ring-a-roses after 5 minutes lol.

I've got nothing to compare it with, so not sure if I should recommend it, but Joanna Hall is excellent, very motivating, and encouraging, without being condescending. The 20 minute routines are nice and varied. so you can tailor it to your demands, and best of all she has two girls doing it a different levels, so if you are as unfit as me you just copy the errr larger bint, or if you are a nutcase like Clare, you'll try and keep up with the athletic one.

Lol about the inch off her legs, very witty :D Nah apparently M&S are the only shop who's 'short' is a 'short'.

I gave up smoking myself a few years ago, so know how hard that is, good luck to you and your mate. I hope you both do it. 16lb is alot to lose in just 2 months!!!! You sure thats a sensible target? Sound like a right worrier don't I lol. Which health spa you going to, I want to book one up for Clare sometime soon, but don't know any good ones apart from the santuary in london.

Tell me abit more about what kinda job you're after and what you do, and I'll keep an ear to the ground for ya. I know quite a few guys in I.T. in the banks in London, and might hear of something that may suit. It's the least I could do for the kind help you've given me.

Speak soon mate

Simon