h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Actually all the horrible old women are shipped to Rotorua and given cars

In my experience, nice little old ladies are few and far between! I never had any grandparents, aunts or uncles, so I was not prejudiced in favour of old people - I never knew any! Then I worked in a rest home, and found the inhabitants to be pretty 50/50. Half were unspeakably rude, silly, selfish and nasty. The other half were people I liked, but although all were old, none were nice and only one was little. They were dead interesting though... (Actually, most of them will actually be dead now - that was 1975, when I was just a kid myself, and they were all 90+, except for the nastiest, who was 'only' 60!

Now, my neighbours are all old people, 80+, and while the man is nice (he has serious disabilities, and *won't* wear sunglasses despite multiple cataracts etc., one of the women is sometimes nice and the other is seldom nice and can be what Jim would call a 'b*tch on warp engines'! Actually they're like the little girl in the rhyme: When they're good, they're very very good, but when they're bad, they're horrid!
Oh, and one of them is quite big.
BTW, I am old. I'm so old, I knew Bob Dole when he was young!

Don't know why, but I'm reminded of the following...

A lady is a woman who knows her place
and a gentleman is the p***k that put her there

All together now...
"They've got cars, they know how to use 'em"
Actually, I am assuming the problem is that they *don't* know how to use 'em!

yeah they do. they're evil I tells ya

meaning that they are evil bad drivers or just bad drivers who are evil.....

Surely it will be worse in a place like Tauranga? (I believe it's a virtual retirement home...) Oops,I don't mean virtual in that sense - online, I mean, well you know what I mean.

Whakatane is a retirement home too. Sunny and it keeps them happy.

Rotorua weather can make the average person crouchy. Old people are halfway there before the weather turns

Ooh, yes,I remember Rotorua winters.. Played merry h*ll with me old bones. (No,actually not, I wasn't old then.) We old people do get grouchy, you know,the worst is when we say; "In my day, we never..." (fill in your favourite)

How long have you been saying "in my day" della?

Oh, yonks. An alternative is to say "When I was your age" or .. "ee, when I were young.." You should hear my brother, talking about walking to school through 6 miles of snow after working 23 hours a day down t' coal mine..."

Garth is doing that too?

I was helping someone make birthday invites to her 40th in 2 weeks. I told her I'd have to do the same in 2016.

Garth is joking, when he does it - I think. Did you know he and Therese have four children and a grand-child, sort of? I mean, they're sort-of his... they're really hers.
2016? Stop gloating I'll be - way old, then (I don't have a calculator on me, actually I do, I'm just lazy and hungry.!!!!)

A calculator? c'mon show us you still have those mental faculties

Garth must be feeling really old about now. Grandchild!!! at his age

Hey there young fellow - don't get too cocky...

Remember when you were were a tiny tot and a metre was wider than your wee arms could reach?
And then as you got bigger, that metre became almost insignificant...

Well, *decades* have a tendency to shrink in a rather similar fashion ... from your late 20's onwards ...

You have been warned!

six7's

Oh dear, I'm in it now

m'am, could I trouble you for your decade? So I can find how deep in it I am.

I remember (dimly) when six weeks was a really, really long time. (We'd been promised a puppy in 6 weeks...) Everybody sigh 'aah'

Got yer Zimmer frame handy? Actually nothing ages one like being nagged to death by the 15 year old...

6 weeks is heaps of time if you need to study for something.....

The Evening Post is going!

Waaah!!!! I used to love the Evening Post when we lived in Wellington! The Dominion was small, right wing and boring.

I hate the Dominion even though the same people own it, it's the wrong time of day and not the same!