h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you say so.

Hey Hotblack, good to see you back too.

Don't worry about the post-examination collapse, it is indeed happening to a number of us. Ming hasn't been online much recently (very pressing schedule), and I just don't appear on h2g2 very much for whatever reason.

*Frets about tomorrow. Knows he's good enough to get the grades he needs, but doesn't trust the exam boards.*

Yes, those damned exam boards! You were right not to trust them! They gave me a b and 3 c's when I know by rights I should have had straight A's!

Yeah, those bar stewards gave me a B as well! And three A's! How dare they! Um... I'm probably not generating a whole lot of sympathy here, am I?

HD, goin' to Sheffield just like everybody else...

Hey I have the honour of going to Bangor. At least where you're going you don't have people making stupid jokes like:

"Bangor? Well...if you're that way enclined!"
"We can take the whole gang to Bangor!" *slap thigh*
"Lets take the train to Bangor!"

Haha...its getting really old. Whole strings of hilarious public transport jokes often follow!

blergh.
Liz xx

Hello you two

those Bangor jokes are getting really old...I reckon they're just jealous of your library.

sorry this is brief. Not in much of a writing mood after work (last day - *sniff*) though I did get a kiss off Betty. And chocolates from June.

Erm... sorry, which two? I'd say hello back, but the initial 'hello' could have been aimed at Elbow and the Overseer, Ming and Jiggyfrog, or any combination of the various guests and celebrities who have (un)frequented this conversation forum, ergo I don't want to impose my greeting on one who has not yet greeted me, lest the individual is frcedto return the greeting when in fact they did not want to.

Maybe I'll just say hello. Hello!

I had my last day at work on Saturday. That's after two LONG years of selling shoes, and if I haven't seen everything, that would be a surprise. I remember a guy with most of his left foot missing, who came in and asked if we did half sizes. I remember a tall, overweight, middle-aged man in a pink dress, browsing the formal Size Thirteens in the Winter sale. I remember a customer who refused to buy shoes he had spent half an hour trying on unless I offered him a free shoehorn. I told HIM where he could stick his free shoehorn. I also remember when somebody, somewhere, tuned their walkie-talkie to the wrong frequency and demanded us to serve table three, where a couple had been waiting with the menu for twenty minutes. It's been one hell of a road, but Shoeboy's movin' on.

For a free copy of the full list of Shoe Trade Anecdotes, please send an SAE marked 'for immediate disposal' to the usual address. BTW: Tell Betty and June I said 'Hey'.

HD

P.S: Liz, is anyone else going to Bangor, or just you? I've heard that thousands of people go to Bangor every year. I do hope you enjoy it up there.

As for Sheffield... um...

Cor, look at the library on THAT!

(you line 'em up, I'll knock em down)

"And its a brand new start, for shoe boy...!"

Yeah, really have to write more words to that song, either that or just stop singing it!

Well, Thom, there are approx. 98 people in my english class (only 5 in my seminar group though - means I can't sleep late andmiss them. My head of department is my pt. ) It would therefore seem that more people than just me go to this university. Although, none are worth mentioning.

Hello dear Victoriana, we've missed you. And I'm sure you mean "Hello you two" in the same way as was meant "the eternal thou".

Its all good.

Liz xx

On another topic, my mobile juat died.

But then it came back again!

Which means I can still spend all my money on it!

... so anyway, how's Uni treating all those who aren't skiving the year away?

Its treating me very well indeed. in fact it rocks, along with kicking some serious bad ass! So...when are you coming to visit me? Also, can you send me ur address at some point, cos I havent managed to wangle it out of you yet Thom!
Im off now to get loads of free goodies at a careers fair effort! Yay! See yall soonly!
Bye darhlin
Liz xxx

Hello all...

Guess who's at home in sunny Frodsham? "So soon?!!" I hear you yelp in surprise. Yes, I'm afraid so - though in my defense I'm ill and mum offered to make me a Sunday lunch. And bean stew. Yes I know its still only three weeks in and I'm home - but another thing, I'll hopefully have a job soon so won't be able to come home for weekends so easily. Also - my journalism seminars are now Fridays at 3pm. How unfair is that?! I go from nothing on Fridays to that. The timetable writers deserve to be shut in a room with Thom and a shoehorn attached to his every finger. Yes I'm that mad - ye quiver from my wrath.

Liz!! I want to come to Bangor and meet your new posse. Or is it 'crew' now? I'll chekkit with the trendies.() Can't wait to come visit. I'll be writing again soon - did you like my beautiful postcard?

Back to some quality resting then.

mwah!

That image is, quite frankly, terrifying! I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of Thom at the best of times, never mind when he has shoehorns!

Yay come visit!! I can't say i've had a beautiful postcard, but ill check again tomorrow! I believe the term is posse, crew is so blaze' (Read ' as an accent!) also, its a horrible place to change trains!

I miss eveyone!
Liz xxx

P.S. Thom! Sent me your address!

Hello all. Or few. Or none - whoever's listening, really.

Liz: I sent you my address in a text! Read your texts, girl! If you STILL can't find it, I'll have to send an e-mail with it in. I'm not about to post my home address on a messageboard! Why not just send e-mails anyway? No postal strikes, no handwriting issues and no cost for stamps!

On another topic: Had an idea. Anybody doing anything fairly early on-ish on Saturday? Joe and Tony are in town, I hear Liz is coming up too... we could have a Helsby-in-Sheffield reunion! Wouldn't THAT be something! Not that we're excluding anybody here... Ming, PCT and, um, everyone else is of course welcome. If you're in the neighbourhood.

And I leave you with news that... shoe horns? I don't do that kind of work anymore (he added, darkly). What type of shoehorn, anyway? Short, long, concave or near-flat? Is somebody having trouble getting their shoes on? We can get your shoes strtched for you if you like. Or you can do it yourself with a shoe-stretcher and some leather-stretcher spray. Or you could just get a new pair, something for the Winter, the sale will be starting in about a month. Good Winter shoes at reduced prices! But remember to get your polish, to protect them with the grizzly weather and - who knows? - they might even last you to next Christmas!

...Just a thought.

Thom

And a fine gathering it was! Fantastic to see everyone again!

As for shoehorns: you keep them on your belt to intimidate people. Obviously you egt a rest at weekends, as carrying them rouud all week gets a little tiring. Also, whey would you bother getting your shoes stretched? WHy wouldn't you just get ones that fit you in the first place?

Yeah, it's like the wild west. Go for your shoehorns, pardner! As for the shoe stretching: I really have no idea. Hardly anybody does it nowdays, and it's usually because we don't HAVE their size. But they'd REALLY have to love the style to do that!

Personally I would buy a similar,or even, rather drastically, an entirely diferent pair of shoes that actually fit me. But that's just me.
Liz x

ps. Check me out - I won the prize for "Service to Music" at school. rock on! Anyone else get anything?

Three prizes, actually, all them months ago. But I don't wanna brag about my Service to School award, my Outstanding Acheivement at A-level award or even my School Design Prize. Brilliant those achievements are, I'm just too modest!

*cough*showoff*cough*