Journal Entries
Nice Guys
Posted Jan 17, 2003
What I finally realized, after a *long* time, was that I was waiting for
"something" to happen, and it didn't. I *certainly* didn't want to offend
a women by suggesting we be something more than friends, did I? I *certainly*
didn't want to risk getting my face slapped by suggesting (in any manner)
that the bedroom might be an appropriate place to spend the rest of the
evening, did I?
Let me tell you, in no particular order, what I've learned about this whole
thing called "relationships between men and women". Take it for what it's
worth ... and remember it's often worth what you pay for it. Some of these
points are interrelated ...
1. With rare exceptions, women are not offended if you make a pass at them,
as long as it's done with some amount of taste. In fact, after a fairly
short period of time (mileage may vary), women draw an important conclusion
if you *don't* make a pass. And that conclusion is that you're not terribly
interested in being more than a friend. Let me explain that I consider 'make
a pass' to be a very broad term ... it can be something as non-threatening as
putting you hand on her arm briefly and telling her that you think she looks
especially nice tonight.
2. If you're interested in a women as possibly more than a friend, you *have*
to tell her that - somehow - fairly soon. Probably by the end of the first
date. Again, it doesn't have to be anything Outrageously Significant, but
it's got to be *something*. (see last sentence above). It doesn't have to
be words. It at least has to be some sort of signal.
3. On the subject of compliments:
a. Women enjoy receiving them.
b. But not *all* the time - they get boring and embarrassing.
c. And they *know* when you're lying.
d. You're much better off complimenting a woman on something she has
some control over. Her hair style. A piece of jewelry. Her
presentation in a class. Not particularly her eyes, her skin color,
the size of her breasts. *Especially* not the size of her breasts.
4. *Practice* dealing with women, especially if you're shy. They usually
don't bite (some do, actually, but that's another topic and doesn't come
until somewhat later in the relationship ...) How? Easy:
a. Say hi to at least 3 women a day you've never spoken to before, or
maybe even never seen before. Say it when you pass them in the hall.
When you sit down next to them in class. When you buy something from
them in a store. Why?
1) Because you'll probably at the very least get a suprised smile
which will make you feel *lots* better about yourself
2) Because they might say something back to you, and then you're
talking
Don't worry about saying anything else. Just "hi". If you want to
be brave, and it's the right situation (not passing in the hall, for
example), you could try "I don't think we've met ... my name is
." But "hi" is fine the first time.
b. Don't wait until you see the woman of your imagined dreams before
you strike up a conversation. Try to talk to any woman about anything
without making a pest of yourself. The worst that can happen is that
she'll indicate she's not interested in talking. Think of that
reaction as her loss.
c. What can you talk about? Literally, anything. "Whew, it's cold
outside!". "Excuse me, what time have you got?" (possibly followed by
"that's a nice watch!", but only if you believe it (see 3c above)).
d. Who do you talk to? Anyone! It's practice, remember?
5. On the subject of being "aggressive" (which "nice guys", of course, don't
like to be) ...
a. Don't think of it as "aggressive". Think of it as "self-confident"
but not really cocky.
b. This quality (and I use that word in a positive sense) is one which
reflects your feeling (you have this feeling, don't you?) that you're
a man worth knowing. Forget about "nice guy". Unfortunately, "nice
guy" equates to wimp/dweeb in too many people's minds. Sure you're
nice - most people are. So what?
c. "Aggressive" in my definition isn't wolf whistles or cat calls. It's
not leering. It's not pawing a woman's body. It's taking some
initiative and not waiting for madam perfection to drop into your
lap (which you as a "nice guy" deserve by definition, of course).
It's showing some honest interest in something about a woman.
I could go on, but that's probably it for a start.
Comments? I'd be interested in comments from women as much as men.
Nice guys don?t flirt: How and why they should
By Jenn Shreve
When my close friend Eric developed a crush on a woman who worked in a nearby tea shop, he spent weeks contemplating how he would approach her. Striking up a conversation while ordering Earl Grey seemed too bold. If he lingered too long at a table by himself, he'd seem like a loser. But if he showed up with a group of guy pals, he might come across like a macho jerk.
He settled on arriving at the shop with a posse of female friends to demonstrate, as he puts it, that he was "pre-approved by the female sex." In this way, he was finally able to nervously introduce himself to the woman behind the counter. Amusingly enough, they became friends. She introduced him to her co-worker, whom he ended up dating for more than a year.
My boyfriend, when he was single, used to buy women drinks. But before the beverage could even be delivered, he'd run out of the bar, unsure and afraid of the next step. A handsome, eligible dentist I know recently needed several pep talks before he could phone a woman. Another nice guy pal has simply given up on flirting. He cannot imagine a line or approach that wouldn't seem contrived or insulting to a woman's intelligence. Better not to flirt at all than inadvertently confirm a woman's worst fears about male behavior.
What a dreadful loss to womankind! Nice guys ? the ones we want to meet and fall in love with ? don't flirt. Meanwhile, a verbose minority of jerks wreaks havoc with their uninhibited flirtatious ways. They whistle at women on the street, introduce themselves with cheesy lines, leer at breasts and legs but never brains. In short, they sully the reputations of their fellow men with rude, crude and socially unacceptable behavior.
Why don't nice guys flirt? A nice man considers the woman's feelings above his own. He figures she probably doesn't want to be disturbed by a total stranger; best to leave well enough alone. A nice man is humble. He does not consider himself to be God's greatest gift to womankind, so he does not assume that she will see him as such. A nice man puts friendship before sex. He would rather get to know somebody slowly than come on strong from Day One.
The fear of making a bad impression looms large. Men, if they want to flirt successfully, must come across as both confident and harmless. It's a difficult balance to maintain. If you lean too far in either direction, the consequences are disastrous.
"The opposite of confident is a loser," Eric says. "The opposite of harmless is even worse."
Throughout my adult life, for reasons I can't quite explain, my close friends have almost all been men. Not just any men, mind you. These are Grade A quality chaps ? nice, smart, handsome, polite ? the kind you want to place atop a pedestal and bring home to mom. Thanks to these friendships, I've gotten a first-rate education in the mind of our brothers of the XY chromosome. I've come to understand their hopes and fears, their joys and guilty pleasures.
And when it comes to anxieties, few things rate higher with these fellows than flirting. They talk about it constantly. I've been asked to scour e-mails and phone messages for hidden messages. I offer the female take on when to ask a woman out and how. Hollywood would have us believe that men stand around in locker rooms and sit on barstools bragging of their latest conquests. In reality, they are probably bemoaning their paralysis when it comes to approaching, chatting with and asking out members of the opposite sex.
In hopes of helping men overcome their flirting phobia, I've written several articles on the topic. In one, I interviewed a flirting expert. For a glossy national men's magazine, I sent a romantically challenged acquaintance to get private lessons on flirting technique, then unleashed him on a series of bars and parties. I lurked in the background, furiously taking notes.
The secret to giving good flirt, I've learned, is the ability to read and react properly to the signals a woman is sending. A smile means smile back. Two smiles means find an excuse to say hello.
The reason most men fail in flirting is they don't wait for the woman to make the first move. Numerous times I've been somewhere minding my own business when out of nowhere a stranger pops up and starts trying to make conversation. He may be very nice, good-looking and charming. But in my mind I'm wondering, Why in the hell is this man talking to me? What does he want?
Men need to pick their moments well. If a woman is busy, preoccupied or stressed out, the best flirt in the world won't impress her. For ages, I've been telling my friends that if they want to meet and flirt with women, they should go in for weekly manicures.
Flirtatious conversation should focus on her, not you. Ask about her interests, her work, her friends. Find common interests and explore them. Lines never work.
If a man is flirting with someone and, for whatever reasons, she stops sending warm signals, it is important to quickly and politely withdraw. For example, "I'm meeting someone" means "Leave me alone, freakazoid," not "Please stay and talk to me until my date arrives." To accept rejection gracefully is flirting's greatest challenge. I constantly find myself reassuring friends that the reasons for a woman's lack of interest are rarely ever personal.
In the past when men have started flirting with me uninvited, I've responded with such charming tactics as: 1. Smiling and nodding while looking at anyone or anything other than him. 2. Pretending that he doesn't exist. 3. Walking away. Or, 4. Telling him in no uncertain terms to go the way of the devil.
Today, I no longer give the automatic brush-off. Instead I try to convey that I'm flattered but not interested (unless he's rude; then he automatically gets the No. 4 treatment). Because I sympathize with how difficult it must have been to make that initial gesture. And because, if the guy seems nice, I want to encourage him in his flirting endeavors. Chances are, if he keeps at it, he'll eventually introduce himself to the right woman.
Something interesting started to happen as we both got older. You seemed to notice me more. You weren't interested in a relationship with me, but you seemed to appreciate me a little more. You still tend to be attracted to men who are unavailable or abusive to you, but you now seem to notice me. This is confusing to me since I have tried for so long to gain your attention. And now that I have your attention, I don't understand why. I haven't changed that much. What is different about you? Are you tired of being mistreated? Are your priorities and values changing? Why are you interested in me now? Now that I am gaining your attention, I am noticing a change in me. I no longer feel as comfortable with you. I no longer trust you as I had before. And I have no idea why you are suddenly interested in me. It becomes really confusing when you show an interest in a relationship with me. For one thing, I have been hurt by your rejection and taking me for granted. And secondly, I notice that I have lost some of my respect for you because of the choices you had made repeatedly in the past. And I find it interesting when you and your girlfriends discuss men and say that all the good ones are taken. This seems surprising to hear since many of the so-called "good ones" are nice guys that you were not interested in. You may also be surprised to know that another change for me is that, while I still find you interesting and attractive, I am no longer willing to take the risk of having a relationship with you. In fact, I've found that I prefer relationships with "nice girls" who appreciate me, respect me, like me, and genuinely value the qualities that you found to be dull, boring, or uninteresting. We can be friends because I still do like you. But I doubt that we can be close friends because I no longer have the same respect for you, and I question whether you ever did respect me. But, we can still be friends.
Nice Guy Syndrome
There is a pattern of behaviour in some men that is very self-defeating. A man who suffers from it finds it very difficult to establish a healthy, primary relationship with a woman. It is Nice Guy Syndrome. Men who suffer from Nice Guy Syndrome will probably have lots of women friends, but rarely have a physical relationship with any of them. He may be a very good listener, and perhaps articulate and expressive in how he talks. He may make a women feel, "At last I have found a man who can listen!". Or perhaps, "Wonderful, this a man who can express his feelings!".
However, there is something missing. Even though a woman may sense that the man is attracted to her, as she gets to know him, she comes to realise that she does not want to be anything other than friends with him. She may at ease with this, or she may wonder, "What is wrong with me? Finally a find a decent man and I just don't feel about him the way I want to!". (The woman may start to wonder whether she is one of those "Women Who Love Too Much". However, this is unlikely as women with that pattern usually get very uncomfortable around the type of positive attention they would get from a Nice Guy). How this dynamic resolves itself depends on how patient either of them are with each other. However, it rarely resolves itself by them entering into a primary relationship.
What is missing?
What is it that is missing? Nice Guys are kind, reliable, safe and dependable. Isn't that what women are looking for in a mate? Well, yes, but... That is not all they are looking for. Women are also looking for a certain amount of strength and confidence in potential mates. A woman friend of a Nice Guy will often be aware of what a hard time he has 'finding the right woman'. She will probably get to hear lots of stories about it! If not, she will sense it from his demeanour. That lack in the Nice Guy can easily come across as 'neediness' and general lack of confidence that puts women off the Nice Guy for anything outside of friendship. His 'openness' with her may also mean that she gets to hear his feelings of concern or anxiety about aspects of his life and this can sound like 'insecurity'.
In essence Nice Guy Syndrome is when a man has got locked into the 'soft' side of his nature and has somewhat disowned the 'harder' aspects of his male energy. This is understandable in that many men are trying to redefine maleness and what that is about. In order to get a handle on something sometimes we need to let the pendulum swing too far the other way. Men exploring their soft side sometimes find it difficult to find their way back to a balance state and reclaim other aspects of themselves.
The Nice Guy will often be open to self-development and have little resistance to looking at their issues and improving themselves. However, ironically his self-development tends to be focussed on areas that don't really help him find a mate. He may do a course on listening skills (when he is already a good listener), or in communication skills (when he is already fairly articulate) or he may do a course in the arts, meditation, yoga, interpersonal psychology, or whatever. These are all very good and useful things, but do not really touch on the issue of improving his love life.
The real need is for balance
What the Nice Guy most needs is balance. He needs to develop those 'hard' qualities that counterbalance his well-developed soft qualities. Those hard qualities are things like confidence, boldness, assertiveness and the like. What he needs is to get into some kind of rugged sport, martial art, assertiveness training, or something along those lines. Even things like jogging or running can help shift him out of his 'soft' mode. Maybe he could get into drumming, or working with clay, or doing sculpture, or some other kind of art that has a strong physical aspect where he expresses himself in a dynamic way. Or, he could pick up a guitar and play some heavy rock, or power blues, rather than too much 'sensitive' stuff. Whatever else he does, he needs to reclaim the full range of his masculinity if he wants to be healthy and balanced.
A curios thing about Nice Guys and the women who are friends with them is that they very rarely fight about anything (or if they do it is rather petulant). At least, it will not usually not be in an upfront way. A Nice Guy may go off in a huff, or break off contact for a while, if he does not get what he wants. If he is attracted to her he may tell himself "I'll show her that I don't really want anything from her other than friendship" and grin and bear it. However, he forgets that women are natural experts at picking up what is going on behind the scenes and she knows only too well that he is kidding himself. That does not exactly engender the kind of trust and respect that a woman needs to feel for her mate. Yes, she trusts the Nice Guy not to attack her but there are other kinds of trust that she needs to feel.
Can the Nice Guy be trusted to stand up to a woman when that is what she needs? Is he strong enough to contain her anger? A woman once said about a Nice Guy, "I like him, but I could not fight with him". What she meant was is that she could not be sure that he would stand up to her when she needed someone to bounce off. She and the Nice Guy got on fine, but what would happen if she were furious with him and really let fly? Could he handle it, or would he be so hurt and offended by something she would come out with in the heat of the moment that it would destroy the relationship? A woman can only trust the wilder parts of herself with a man that embodies the wilder parts of himself. She has to know that her mate can stand up to her and hold his own when that is what the relationship needs to move forward.
Conflicting information
Nice Guys tend to get very conflicting input about maleness and the role of men. They get a constant trickle (or flood) of information about the misbehaviour of men via their women friends. They are also told directly, or by implication, that they are all right as they are 'not like that'. Yet, after hearing so many stories from a woman about the hard time she is having with her current boyfriend, it is the boyfriend and not the Nice Guy she has a physical relationship with. He gets the message, "You are special and different", and the message "You are not good enough for me.", both at the same time. He also gets the message "There is something wrong with men.", and the message, "You are alright." at the same time. Does that imply that he is not a man? It's no wonder that it is confusing to be a Nice Guy!
What is also confusing for a Nice Guy is that he often hears women complaining about men not being 'open' enough. He may take note of this and set out 'improve' himself and be more open. Yet, this backfires too. For while the Nice Guy is 'openly' telling his women friends about the problems in his life he is also labelling himself as a 'loser-in-love' in their eyes. The more 'open' he is and talks about his worries and concerns the more his women friends with see him as a bit insecure. Women don't mind that in friends, and may even enjoy offer advice, help and encouragement, but it does not activate their mating instincts. They may like the man and enjoy getting glimpses into the male world. But, they will try and apply what they learn to the get closer to other men in their lives not to him . Of course, openness is a good thing. The problem is that it has to be counterbalanced by expressing some dynamic outgoing qualities or it can come across as 'weak'.
How can a woman help the Nice Guy in her life?
She can help him by being positively selfish (a very different thing from being negatively selfish). She can help him by encouraging him to develop the kind of qualities that she herself would like to see in him. When a woman talks about her boyfriend to a Nice Guy it is usually to complain. Does she ever tell the Nice Guy what is really good about her boyfriend? No. She won't do that usually. That is because she may know that the Nice Guy is attracted to her and if she tells him what she likes so much about her boyfriend she will, by implication, being saying that is not true about the Nice Guy.
If she were to say, "What I really like about my boyfriend is that he is so confident in himself", this would raise questions in the mind of the Nice Guy. After all if her Nice Guy friend had that quality she would want him, right? However, the effect of this unbalanced communication is that the Nice Guy rarely gets to hear anything positive said about the more assertive type of man. This just reinforces in him the feeling that his raw male energy is not OK and that there is something unredeemably bad or wrong about it. It pushes him further into feeling that he needs to stick with his 'sensitive' side. What Nice Guys need from the women in their lives is positive reinforcement of healthy male behaviour, not constant negative confirmation of unhealthy male behaviour. Yet, the latter is mostly what Nice Guys get from the women in their lives.
Women would do better to look at to how they can reinforce the dynamic male qualities of the Nice Guys. Encourage them to develop balance. Maybe tell them about your ideal mate (sensitive and confident, kind and assertive, gentle and bold, etc). Help him to develop an image of what a healthy man looks like. How can he get there if he doesn't know where he is going?
How can Nice Guys help themselves?
If a Nice Guy wants to reform he could start asking his women friends what they really like about their boyfriend (or their previous boyfriends), especially if he has mostly heard a long series of complaints for a while. This helps break the cycle of the Nice Guy unconsciously supporting her negative views about her boyfriend, and other men of that type (perhaps in the hope that he'll get to win her in the end).
He could ask his women friends what their ideal man is like. This starts to move the relationship into a more positive male/female dynamic. It may have been very positive in other ways (having a fun together as people, mutual support in some areas, etc), but the relationship has not likely been positive and mutually rewarding as far as basic male/female interaction goes. He has not been receiving a positive sense of basic male energy and how to express the more dynamic aspects of that. He needs to elicit responses from women (and take the initiative to get them from women and from other men) that help him gain a sense of what healthy maleness looks like and what it feels like.
Less serious
He might also want to take his relationships with women less seriously. One look at the Personals columns and seeing how many women are looking for a man with a GSOH (Good Sense of Humour) will quickly prove the point. He needs to keep things light and fun - up to a point - and not avail himself of every chance he gets to bare his soul. Finding ways to gently make fun of himself and make fun of his women friends too can also work wonders. Confidence is usually the number one quality that women look for in a man. It is much easier to come across as confident when you are being playful. There is far less risk and far less to loose. Therefore, the Nice Guys number one priority is to develop and express confidence. There are lots of books on this in any good bookstore. Best to have a look and see what appeals.
A different kind of serious
He also needs to look to other men to help him understand his feelings. A woman knows how it feels to be a woman; not how it feels to be a man. She can help him understand the value of being able to know how he feels and to express those feelings, but she cannot help him much with knowing what those feeling are. As Robert Bly says, "If a man tries to learn how to feel from a woman he goes numb from the neck to the navel". Only other men can really help a man come to terms with his masculine self. He needs to find a wise elder (in books, or in real life), or a friend who can help respect his essential maleness.
If he has drifted into feeling more comfortable with women rather than other men then that is a sign that he is not comfortable with himself. He could look at what he does with the wilder parts of himself and how he relates to them. Are they integrated into his life in healthy ways? If not, then he needs to heal his relationship with those parts of himself. Some of the Men's Movement literature is helpful with that (Robert Bly, Sam Keen et al) and helps create ideas for expressing male energy positively.
Healthy Men
What often makes is man into a Nice Guy is when he becomes dismayed by the damage done in the world by male energy when it is unbalanced. Nice Guys are essentially healthy men who are attempting to break out of the traditional male roles. They will have gained many insights about human nature, and especially about women, while on their journey. It is then really a matter of them reclaiming those parts of their male selves they somewhat left behind. They can they be the type of the man the world needs: balanced and healthy men, who are strong, empowered and confident who are also comfortable showing care, openness and sensitivity.
Co
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Latest reply: Jan 17, 2003
Jeet Kune do Principles that can be applied to agents and structures
Posted Jan 14, 2003
Straight line to objective. Awareness of centreline, non telegraphic, economic movement.
Whatever comes out of you has to be automatic.
One must have already experienced severeemotions in order to draw strength from them
One must have practised Often enough that oone cn act despite oneself in an 'automatic' and spontaneous flow of action. The 'freeze or flail' response has to change into a 'no mind' fighting mental poise.
If you deny even the classical or traditional approach you one again will have created another pattern in which you are trapped. The classical styles teach you all the basic precepts that will serve you well. Jeet june do is not slapdash almalgamation of styles. No is it a rigid doctrine. Rather it encouraged the practitioner to learn the basics and then learn about himself first so that he/she can take or discard the style/moves/ disciplines that suit him best.
Man is a violent animal. The ideal of Non violence is an immature approach to violence. What is important is to face the violence understand it and go beyond it, and not invent an escape, an ideal of non violence which has no reality whatsoever.
Research your own experiences for the 'truth' Absorb what is usefull, reject what is useless. Add what is specifically your own. Man the creative individual is more important than any style or system.
You DO nees forms however. We are born without knowledge. You have to aquire it before you can apply and subilminate it.
Each must learnthe fundamentals first of music or fighting out of which he can progress andwhich he can then use as a basis for improvisation and creativity.
My truth is not your truth.
To wander in a circle with no circumfrance is not to be free but to be lost. Learn to function in a small well defioned circle, until it may eventually be enlarged a little at a time until it 'seemingly ' has no edges.
The key to learning by repetition is never to allow it to become stale or mechanical but to practice with awareness- like a sculptor who chips away at a block of marbel to reveal the form within.
Having no form = slap dash and incompetant. luck may save hi/her one or twice
Having 'no fixed' form = Not restricted by form but able to use it without being tied to it.
N.B. This freedom can lead to a narcissistic personality for its own ends or it can be a vehicle for spirit and for truth.
Knowledge is built on experience of the past.
Undestanding is built on the experience of the present
Organised dogmatic religion betrays its original visionary.(christ-follow me and you will lose me. But Follow yourself and you will find both yourself and me.)
v
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Sun Moon Ascendant
Posted Jan 14, 2003
Aries Sun
Keywords: Daring, Risk-taker, Energetic, Friendly, Careless, Impulsive, Childish
As the first sign of the zodiac, Aries represents the first stage in the evolution of man and his place in the universe. The raw energy of life itself, which is the first step in being part of the universe, is evident in the character and make-up of Aries people. Babies think of themselves as the center of everyone else's universe. As they grow older, they learn that they are not the center but part of a family group. It is the karmic responsibility of the Aries-born to accept the idea that they are not the center of the universe but part of the larger social order of all men. Aries personalities who do not develop this kind of maturity are demanding and infantile in their behavior. They want what they want, when they want it. The vital life force that is their celestial heritage can either be used to inspire others as well as themselves, or it can be turned inward to reflect only their own selfish needs, and as a result, they fail to evolve as individuals.
Aries people are doers. They set out to accomplish things and are determined to succeed one way or another. The astrological symbol for Aries is the Ram and, considering the sheer force of energy and enthusiasm by which they accomplish their goals, it is not off the mark to suggest that they "ram" their way to success. They must, however, learn the difference between being confidently aggressive--a responsible "take-charge person" on whom others rely to get things moving-- and being rudely aggressive-- a "know-it-all" who is insensitive to the feelings as well as the wisdom of others.
Aries individuals react in a physical way to everything they experience in life. That is, before they assess the practicality or worth of what they are doing, before they sort out their true emotions, and, before they take time to reason things out intellectually, their tendency is to shoot first and ask questions later. Their passionate nature is inspiring and flattering to others, but unless impatience and rash behavior are curbed, their unbridled enthusiasm backfires when they lose interest just as quickly as they gained it. Theirs is the astrological sign of the soldier but in their haste, they forget the practicality of being adequately armed before rushing headlong into physical or verbal combat. They quickly forget frustration and anger. Since theirs is essentially a generous nature, their selfishness is usually a result of carelessness rather than intentional unkindness.
Active, fiery Mars rules Aries and indeed, Aries people are high-spirited, energetic individuals ready to try anything at least once. Courageous, optimistic, and friendly, they are lively participants in the everyday bustle of life, maintaining a frantic pace others find difficult to match. Constant physical activity works off excess energy, and its vitalizing influence is important to their intellectual and creative endeavors. It is usually the energetic Aries who is willing to start projects others would be afraid to tackle. However, it is also Aries who often fails to finish things when too many details demand attention or they simply lose interest. In spite of the physical energy associated with Aries, they are not above using the inability of others to keep up with them as an excuse for their own idleness. If they expect others to provide them with constant stimulation and are unwilling to find their own diversions, they become lazy. Cut off from physical activity, they become depressed, unproductive, and overweight.
They are eager athletes and generous players. They enjoy the challenge of a tough contest, but they can be so stimulated that they become too aggressive. Aries rules guns and weapons, so it isn't surprising that many Aries individuals enjoy hunting. Combative by nature, they also enjoy boxing, wrestling, and most team sports. They are apt to be mechanically inclined and adept at arts and crafts, typing, working with machinery, playing musical instruments, or performing magic tricks. They have a tendency to allow their enthusiasm to exceed their actual ability. Before taking something apart, they don't stop to wonder if they can put it back together.
Aries colors are red and white. Vulnerable parts of the body are the head and face. As a sign of this celestial association, many Aries individuals are born with a birth mark on their head or face. Headaches, black eyes, nose bleeds, and insect bites are common Aries complaints. The birthstone for Aries is the diamond. The tremendous heat and pressure that nature exerts in turning carbon into hard, brilliant diamonds represent the strength and physical force in the Aries-born. Flowers for Aries include the poppy (red), geraniums, honeysuckle, and hollyhocks.
Moon in Scorpio
Keywords: Brooding, Intense, Motivated, Dominating, Spiteful, Loyal, Creative, Suspicious
Those born with the moon in a Water sign need to establish solid emotional commitments. Before considering the practicality of a situation, and before objectively examining the facts, they react emotionally. They are highly intuitive, though at times, it is deceptively self-serving.
As lunar Water sign personalities, those with moon in Scorpio are primarily led by their emotions. If they are subjected to emotional manipulation or deprivation in childhood, they are not going to reveal their vulnerability by openly expressing their feelings or needs. If they are raised in a non-threatening environment, they will probably emerge as mild mannered, easy to get along with adults. There is no denying the potential for hedonism, possessiveness, jealousy, and revenge in these individuals but not all of them give in to such destructive energies. Those who do are likely to suffer accordingly, reaping their rewards in this life rather than the next.
Scorpio moon personalities do not want to be rushed or forced into making a commitment. Once they make an emotional commitment to a project, idea, or relationship, they tenaciously pursue and hang on to it. Their emotional nature is accompanied by strong will power and amazing ability to overcome adversity. Instinctive understanding of human motivation and behavior gives them an emotional advantage, a conscious or subconscious way to control themselves as well as others. The mistake many of them make is being so intent on controlling others, that they never learn to effectively control themselves. Their stubborn nature makes it difficult for others to convince them to change their opinions and behavior or to break undesirable habits.
Women with Scorpio moon are apt to be shrewd, and when they have high intelligence, it is likely to be brilliant. Their ambition is not so much a matter of wanting great wealth for its own sake as it is their desire to gain power. Men with Scorpio moon can be driven to distraction by situations that offer no solution, and by people who refuse to tell them anything. Their emotional nature is well suited to deal with economic, human, or natural resources.
Aquarius Rising
Keywords: Mental poise, Square-jawed, Opinionated, Hates change but changes without regret
An Aquarius Ascendant indicates individuals with strong physiques (particularly the legs) and a great deal of physical stamina. They are apt to have a great deal of stubbornness and find it difficult to break undesirable habits and behavior patterns. Independence is a hallmark of their personalities and they tend to be highly opinionated. It is almost impossible for others to convince them to change their ideas unless they become convinced on their own that such a change is necessary.
Aquarius indicates intellectual orientation, and most of these individuals are likely to possess remarkable mental poise. They are rarely frightened or affronted by sudden shocks, surprises, or the abnormal and bizarre. Their particular mental orientation gives them an air of detached interest, and as a rule, they remain unaffected and uninfluenced by such social trappings as status, power, and wealth. They are interested in people for their own sake, not their wealth or status. With a minimum of effort they are able to attract many friends and acquaintances.
Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, planet of upheaval and change, as well as by its ancient ruler, Saturn, planet of restriction and structure. Strangely enough these two very different influences can be compatible in the personalities of these individuals. There is the strong possibility they will experience at least one or more dramatic changes of direction in their lives, many times this happens through some quirk of fortune or circumstance over which they have no control. These changes can occur suddenly and unexpectedly. Though Saturn's influence implies stable, calm dispositions, the influence of Uranus means they are also capable of behaving in quite unexpected ways. It is a mistake to predict what they will do in any given situation.
They are often argumentative and love to play devil's advocate. They demand a lot of personal freedom, and when they marry, that need becomes an issue if their marriage partners are too dependent or possessive. They get restless if there isn't enough in their immediate environment to stimulate them physically or mentally. They are keenly interested in the future and have a great interest in the past, but many of them somehow lose track of what's going on in the present, and as a result, they appear out of step with the rest of society.
They are likely to develop interest in science, sociology, music or design. Financial theory is less interesting than its application. Nervous conditions and stiffness or inflexibility of the bones and joints are some common physical complaints they are apt to experience.
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Latest reply: Jan 14, 2003
Dissertation time.
Posted Feb 19, 2002
Machiavelli in State realism and International realism, the rule of necessity In a flawed agent structure relationship.
Fun isn't. Now I just have to add deontological Kantian realism to the equation to finish it. And yet I looked at the draft yesterday and I thought... This is sooooooo sad. I mean it doesnt mean anything!!!
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Latest reply: Feb 19, 2002
Lake Garda
Posted Jun 17, 2001
If attempting to swim in this lake and you dont happen to be german please bring a hot water bottle. It is unpleasantly cold.
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Latest reply: Jun 17, 2001
phoenix
Researcher U178549
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