h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...which is what a consultant was telling me in a jocular fashion - not that I mind, not that I really care; it was all good natured and fun

Well, after I redressed the balance with:

Me: Well, that's quite ironic, because I thought it was the converse.

Consultant: Really? That computers are like men - rational? How?

Me: Well, not rational as such... more in the sense that you get all excited about the new computer that you buy from the shop, but when you get it home, and get the packaging off, it's always a big disappointment.

(pause)

Me: Then, to make matters worse, six months down the line, despite all the money that you spend on upgrades and software patches in a futile attempt to improve it, there's still something wrong with it, and you're left with the sinking feeling of 'Why, oh why didn't I just trade it in for the new, improved, far more stable, far more attractive model which came out after the original date of purchase?' It would have been far more value for money.

Touché!

... because the far more stable model turns out to be as big a pile of junk as the existing one. The only stable computer is like Frankenstein's Monster, but even then it can be touch and go. Put the bits and pieces together following the cryptic instructions carefully and it'll work like a dream for years to come. Put the bits and pieces together in a hickledy pickledy fashion much like a PC World "engineer" and then switch it on, you'll have to flee from the rampaging mob of neighbours and housemates when it shorts out the power of half the street.

I've changed my mind, you're absolutely right about computers being men. Mine is no exception. It's lazy, it complains, it keeps losing things. Blasted thing's nearly ready for its quarterly hard drive formatting, that'll teach it!