h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dear Proffesors,

my name is pheloxi, the cat. you ask what a cat want to do here. I am pacivist cat. I am for peace between mice and cats.

I am requesting if we could set up a "studyhouse" between cats and mice, because if work together we might learn something from each other.

I would be honored if you accept me.

wow-greetings,
pheloxi

*too paralysed to speak*

please do not be. I am realy a pacivist. I could never hurt another amimals. I realy meant it.

So are you a Vegetarian Cat?

(almost, but not quite, too petrified to Squeak!)

I g..g..g.. guess that a co-co-co-species course would be a good idea..

Cat/Mice cohabitting as A Realistic option...

When I was born I soon discovered I was different than other cats, but in my first years of being kitten I do not what to do with it.

After a while I did not like hunting mice. I dispiced it. I could not hunt. I even tried to become friend with few mice, but like yourself they did not trust me.

I became very lonely, because all my friends hunted mice. bbbrrr. I get the chills thinking about it.

I discovered that I was cat born into wrong body. I should be born as mouse. Until now I never told anyone. I do not know if there others like me. by revealing myself I might discover others like me.

I know that I can not change into mouse, but I can atleast become friends with mice.

I want to thank you for yout atention. please do not be afraid.

pheloxi
the mouse born in cats body.

are you having a meeting about me?

Um. No, I think we're all just too shocked to speak. Personally, I'm rather touched. But it also kind of freaks me out. As a mouse in a mouse's body, I really don't know how to react to this...

I am deeply sorry that I shocked you. Is there something I can do?

I don't know... Actually, this does sound like a great opportunity to explore mouse/cat relations and see what can be done to achieve peace between the two species. Perhaps we could invite Greebo and Tabitca(other cats) as well, if they promise to behave. They both seem nice, but you never know.

Maybe we should instigate some new university laws.

No pouncing
No toying
No eating other university members

This should get us around any trouble with speciesism.

ooh I am so glad to hear this. you are wonderfull smart creatures. I know it will work. thank you very much.

I am excitment I forgot to ask what to next?

I guess we'll just set up a course over at the UoM. I have no idea what to call it though. "Cat/Mice Relations 101"? Or "Cat/Mice Cohabitting as a Realistic Option 101"? Seems a bit long, and more like the name of a paper than a course...

Why 101?

We could set up a research project over in the Science Faculty to investigate the possibility of a Species Change operation??

101 = introductory course... Right? Or is that strictly Américaine?

Anyway, the Species Change operation sounds interesting. It could theoretically be accomplished, if one were able to upload a mind into a computer and then download it into another body. An alternative would be to simply bypass the computer and do a mind transplant. Obviously, a brain transplant wouldn't work because of the difference in brain size...

I like "Cat/Mice Relations 101". nice and short, but to point.
the subtitle might be "Mice & Cats, example for peace."

You mean the extrusions into 3d space of Hyper Indelligent Pandimensional Beings Brains wouldn't fit into a Cat's Skull? Hmm... You're probably right!

IN the Uke - 101 has images of Room 101 a la Brazil (the "rat room" I think) and 1984....


(well in my fevered brain it does!)

No, no -- N-dimensional space. In only 3 dimensions, it seems as if the cat brain is bigger. However, the more dimensions you manage to measure, the more the scales tip the other way, which is of course why we're hyper-intelligent.

Speaking of which, we might want to measure phyloxi's brain and see how it compares to our brains.

As for 101, I have no idea what you're talking about...

Sorry, phEloxi.

Room 101 was where People went to be tortured..... (I think)

Which actually would be a good name for the course!!