h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thought you'd appreciate an invite to the chap's club soiree. I have already bagged a "Gel" for the evening, but if you're keen I'm sure there will be a fine upright gent to escort you should you accept.

Here is the formal stiff card and gold leaf invite:



Dear Gel, those splendidly upright Chaps down at the Chaps Club (http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F75930&thread=157452&skip=0&show=20) are having a bit of a jolly bash this year to celebrate Valentines Day. It would give one immense pleasure if one could accompany one to this bally knees up, what !

No pressure old stick, but if you`d like to pop along to the Hotspot at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A624322 and find your way to the Ballroom on February 14th we can promise you a spiffing time.

The Chaps will all be splendidly attired in Full Military Dress Uniform (medals and regimental tie de riguere) and will regale you with manly tales of derring do .... some of them might even be true.

The Chaps formation dancing team will be doing a turn on the dancefloor at midnight in memory of Viscount Montgomery of Alamein - or the Full Monty as we Chaps call it .

Female Chaps should wear something long and glittery.

RSVP would be appreciated.

Toodle-pip !



Bassman

I've just included you in on of the drop down menus at my space



Bassman

I'm there...

I knew I could rely on you



Bassman

Remember this luv...when all else fails you...I'm here.

Aaaaaawwwwwww

You know how to make a guy feel wanted



Bassman

I hear that alot! *wink*

I don't know if there's a polite answer to that!!



Bassman

I know...

Just don't like to be rude to young ladies you see. I lost my cool in a forum the other day and us A.C.E.s are s'posed to be the ones that are supposed to help calm those sorts of things down

So what you been up to? You've been quite quiet of late.



Bassman

YOU...lost your cool? ME...quiet?
Oh you are a luv!!!
I'm busy writting books & being bothered by reporters...*sigh* I wish I could just 'be'. But nooooooooo...everyone wants something of me...
Well not EVERYone... you've been quiet kind, sending pictures & E's...& I've ben an awful friend...I don't mean to be...I'm
just busy now. I try to do most my work during the Winter so I can spen my time in the pool during the Summer...I'm addicted!
I love water....and then there's my hammock by the river-bank...

Me being quiet...I can't wait until I get to tell that to someone, face to face...I'm certain to see a great reaction on their face!!!

As for heated exchanges here...I give up! You must be so totally literal with every stinkn' word you use or they chop you to bits! Of course, that has been a good way for me to meet men, as they seem to think I need to be rescued...can't imagin why... (I do wish there were a sexy girl smilie)

Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla...

Talk to you again soon...you know, I think of you each day... usually more than once...I have your picture up as wallpaper on MAC....I change it to the Pink Floyd Ladies & other friends...but just now, I wake up to you each day!

You're the only one that does then - on a regular basis that is.

I so love to hear you waxing lyrical about the place you live, it sounds absolutely lovely. I moved out of my windmill at the end of October and I miss it like mad. Still that's been the story of my life really - get settled - move on!



Bassman

...I feel your pain...I still haven't set up my aquraium...I always said that I would NEVER move it again...it's a real b**ch.
So, even though I've been in the cabin since '97...I still feel like I need to be ready to roll at any given moment. But today it was 65 degrees out & I played with the dog in the back yard...& I realised I really love this place. So, I guess when I do leave it will be feet first.
I enjoyed hearing about the meet. What little info you disclosed...
wha'? You chaps sit around & compare notes or something?
I, for one, would most certainly have given you 1st place for your creative thingies...It sounded like fun...but the kind of fun I have when it's grandma's birthday... do I REALLY have to come over there & remind you all how to party? Maybe I could het a lecture tour going in Europe next year...kill two birds w/one stone...
My friend Todd was over the other night...you mug saw smeared across MAC...Tod did a double take....he thought it was himself!!
~HA!!! That's twice I got him with the same pic.....he has short term memory loss, I take advantage of it as often as possible. I also pulled a good one on 'Walks Like A Shadow'...this guy takes reat pride in scaring the outta' me...he's aways afraid he's going to hurt me...squeeze me too tightly, pull my hair
and whatever other clumsey man-like things guys do...so I had to get him.....he was helping me put a stud into the top of left ear...I had taken the earring out as it was hurting...as he finally found the whole...*wink-wink*...his hand was shaking...he said, "Okay, I found it...let me know if I'm hurting you..." Just as he was putting the thing in my ear...I screamed!!!! He JUMPED back!!!
hahahahahaha....mean, ain't I I 'bout gave him e a heart attack!!! Now, I have his promise to never sneak up on me again!!! I thought that was done last Summer anyway...as I sleep in the hammock in the woods with a 38. & last Summer he yelled his lungs out & awaited an answer before he came down the trail to my camp site....something about a gal with a gun...on her own property that makes everyone call before stopped & surprising me!!! I like surprises...just as long as there's gift wrap involved!
Very glad you had a good/safe time!
I promise...I will send you a nice long E...before yet another cob-web grows...

I have to say my dear that that was the longest post I've ever read. Not a problem though!! I had loads of problems with the stud in my ear, getting swollen and weeping. At least it seems to have settled down now.

I don't mean to withold information, my memory is just shocking - it's a stress thing you know.

The event was held in two pubs, the first was on whitehall called The Lord Moon Of The Mall, and the second was near(ish) to Kings Cross Station - called The Sutton Arms.

I was sat just inside the front door of the Lord Moon, with Ming Mang and her Dad. Lost in Scotland was busying himself reorganising the tables and getting chairs for those that didn't have one. A nice guy, Swedish I think working for IBM in Greenock. When I came back from the bar there was Grey Desk sitting in my seat, no problem as Ming Mang had sisappeared. I chatted with Pastey and Vogon Poet for a bit and then a girl called ben when she came and sat with us. I was a bit concerned that my lad - The Kaos Kid - was a bit quiet, but I think he was just taking it all in. I spent quite a while chatting with ben until AGB showed up - soaking half the assebled researchers with water from her brolly. Being as she'd reserved the first hug from me I thought it only polite to introduce myself and give her a hug.

I bumped into lighthousegirl on my way to the bar for another drink, she's lovely, and is helping with my search for a new job. She's a human resources manager!!

Went out on the treasure hunt with Demon Drawer, Fashion cat, The Kaos Kid, Lifson, her mother, brother and boyfriend - still not sure what any of their names were - shocking, see what I mean about my memory....

Spent most of the evening chatting with lighthousegirl, AGB, a girl called ben, Mark Moxon, Potholer, Grey desk, Titania and Alien Tourist. As I said it was civilised. Maybe you do need to show us how to party..... I'll look forward to next year.





Bassman

Too ... er, well, not very h2gish now was it?
E you soon....soooo much going on...

Don't be upset if I don't reply straight away, I might have trouble accessing the web at all - I simply don't know what I'll be doing in the immediate future, where I'll be eating, sleeping, or working (if at all!!)

Hope to catch up soon though



Bassman

Wish you lived on this side of the pond...always an empty bed here...
Good-luck me ole' fruit! Too bad you still can't be in the Windmill...must have been loverly...tilting at windmills...a favorite pass time of mine...
I won't hold my breath for you but I shall keep my fingers crossed!

That's very kind, I'm keeping everything crossed at the moment. Went for my "Signing On" interview the other day.... one of the most humilliating things I've ever had to do. So I'm waiting for them to find plenty of reasons to not pay me a penny.



Bassman

So how impressed would your "Ex" be if I turned up at the door?



Bassman

Impressed???? Nothing much impresses him...and you could just ask him yourself...he's right over there ----->
He lives upstairs & refuses to be an EX...can't remember when I slept with him....last 'Spring' I think....No pun intended...but a good one nonetheless

What type of job are you jumping through hoops for??? I need to bang out some more short stories...Bear hasn't worked since last June...builds a shelf here...fixes someone's roof there...I think he only made about $70 the whole of last month. I've told him I refuse to continue 'keeping him'...christ...I never even allowed a MAN to support ME!!!! Looking back.....sheesh...This guy's jsuy GOTTA' go. period. But...he knows I won;t chuck him out in the Winter...the people living in my hoise in the Village haven't paid rent since....November....I get screwed every time I turn around....at least I get kisses.....but not from the people screwing me.......The $$$$ I had saved for a trip..well that's gone too...someone always needs something worse than do I. Well come Spring...the VERY latest....Summer....this cabin is undergoing a major change! If nothing else....I'll leave!
Wouldn't that be a trip? Leaving my very own dream home because I let a bunch of free loafers take over.......Shall I help you release your stress???? I have none. Zero. Zip. Nada.
I think everything is hysterically funny! ha. hahahaha

AAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAHHHHH

See? All calm.....gonna' go cozy down into my big ole' empty bed...dream about the tropics & maybe a bassplayer or two

Let me know what's up!