h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today I discovered Courtesy's Zen Garden & Tea House also on this site. Not wanting any trouble from Courtesy's staff, I am (once again) remodeling the garden. First of all, I am establishing the St. Francis Natural Animal Preserve. The preserve is about forty square miles of dense tropical foliage in the Valley of Dian-Hui, in the shadow of the peaceful mountain Het-Sko and the placid Lake Gregory (Named after American Explorer who, in 1887, deemed the valley a "Symphony in green"). The preserve contains paved and lighted paths and kiosks for exquisite photos. The wildlife is very diverse, with over 400 species of butterfly alone. The Zen Garden is set off the back of a castle set into the hillside (admission is free) built in 1913 by Alexandra Stuffington, who can be seen roving about in the garden and preserve in her golf-cart. If you have any suggestions for geographical points of interest, public buildings or interesting new staff members, submissions are welcome.

Stopped by

Hi Juliet! Have you met Mrs. Stuffington? If you ask her, she might give you the grand tour. Our Activities Director, Erin, will be happy to show you to the Ballroom for the First Annual Spring Ball in celebration of the rebirth and renewal of the gardens. Enjoy!

I poppped in after work and fell asleep under a tree. it is so pleasant
that was two days ago....How do i get out HELP!

All you have to do is make a left, a right, a right, a left, a right, a right, a left, a left, a right, a right, a left, past the third Serpant topiary and you're at the Visitor's Centre. If you've rented an air gun the velocoraptors won't get you.

Puff Pant Puff ....made it.
Thanks
That'll teach me to wander off the path
Those velociraptors are pretty fast. I think I broke a speed record.

Horrah! Have a carrot .

As long as you're passing out carrots, can I have one? You know me from this past summer, I'm Alex's other best friend.

Just dropping in to say 'hi' . . .

Id

Could I have another clue? Gender, perhaps? Or favorite TV show?

Female, the A-Team. We wanted to make you Face, remember? I'm Hannibal.


Id

Ah, now I know. ???

Yeah, that's me. They still won't let me drink cappuccino!

It's not fair, I tell you.

In case there's still any doubt, I'm the one who always wore the Yankee hat and who described you as "Sounds as if he'd consumed a dictionary by osmosis."

So, how've you been?

Id

Busy. Very busy. I'm working on the play One Flew Over The Cockoo's Nest, saw Marc Maron and had him autograph his book for me, changed classes to get away from a teacher who didn't wash his hands after using the bathroom, was saddened when a friend of mine dissapeared, and rejoiced when said friend returned from staying with his father in California, wrot a little more of my book, and my cousin wants to dye the tips of my hair dark blue.

How have you been?

Oh, and do join us at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A565940.

Blue would look good on you.

Sounds like you're having fun. One Flew Over The Coockoo's Nest is good . . . I liked the movie, though the book confused me a little bit. The stream of consciousness style of writing got to me after a while.

I'm helping build the set for Hunchback of Notre Dame at my school. We have to finish by exactly a week from today (Thursday). We're no where near done! Ack.

Anyway. Sure, I'll go join the North Eastern US thingamajig. I hear you made Alex sign up, too.

Id

I have a Microsoft waiter
Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

[The waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!


The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00

LOL!

Have you heard the joke about the pilot?

There was a helicopter pilot who happened to be rather lost. He was running out of fuel, so he needed to find the airport he was heading for. He found himself over a city, and, seeing some folks in a window near the top floor of a tall building, he flew over and hovered outside their window to hold up this sign: "Where am I? Help!"

The people inside the window seemed to be conferring on the matter for ten minutes, before holding up a sign of their own: "You're in a helicopter!"

A half hour later he landed safely. When he told his story to his buddies at the bar that night they asked him how he figured out how to get home from that stupid message.

He said simply, "I knew it had to be the Microsoft building!"

Id

Have you heard this one?

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

rotflmao
just thought i'd stop by and inform you all that i am aware of your discussion about me
harumph
*goes back to read through all those wonderful jokes again and remenisce about the summer, with an annoying little itch at the back of her mind saying: "remember the pt homework"...sighs*

At least there's no Michael or Madison!