Journal Entries
Tuesday Blues
Posted Apr 17, 2001
Well here we are again back at work, and although I should be with the vast majority of the population going,"Booooooooooooooooooooo! Couldn't I just have another day?" The truth of the matter is I'm going, "Thank God for that!" Too many days of feeling lonely, and watching the world go by. Eurrgh! Holidays? Bah Humbug! Is all I can say! It's OK when you've got someone, but hell when you don't.
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Latest reply: Apr 17, 2001
Thank God it's Friday?
Posted Apr 6, 2001
Thank God it's Friday? Well no actually. I used to think that, but recently it's become. Oh God it's Friday? How can you look forward to the weekend when you know that you'll just be sitting in regretting that your sitting in. Well at least I've got Casualty to look forward to, and for those of you not based on this side of the pond. That is a TV prgramme, I'd hate for you to think that I was looking forward to a night in Accident and Emergency.
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Latest reply: Apr 6, 2001
Monday 02/04/01
Posted Apr 2, 2001
"Life, don't talk to me about life..." etc. etc.
Well it's Monday, and for those of you who are going.
"Oh God, not Mondays, I hate Mondays." I'm in the enviable postion of being able to go.
"Great it's a Monday, I can do some work."
I like my job. It's not the one I ultimately want to do, but until that happens it'll do.
I only wish I liked my life too, but alas, one out of two can't be considered that bad.
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Latest reply: Apr 2, 2001
Saturday 31/03/2001
Posted Mar 31, 2001
I don't know about the Long Dark Teatime of the Soul, but I do know about the short light dinnertime of Saturdays. What is it about Saturdays. I can cope with staying in every other night, but not Saturdays. It's not that I've got no-one to go to the pub with, or that there's nowhere to go. It's... well it's the depression, the fear.
I always start with good intentions. "Tonight, I'm going to go out tonight." but it always ends with, "Maybe next week. I can't really cope with it now."
So here I sit, on yet another Saturday night, wondering when I'm actually going to be able to take part in life again. Oh I'm not saying that I can't actually move out of the house, no I'm not that bad, it's just that I can't face crowds. Don't know what it is, but I just find it very difficult to cope with crowds. I 've got no problem when I'm not under the dark cloud of depression, but it's when it's icy fingers get a grip on your throat, and unfortunately that's where I am now.
So when your in the pub tonight ordering a couple of Pints, get a Pint of Cider for me. You never know I might, just might manage to make it to the pub with you.
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Latest reply: Mar 31, 2001
Relationships
Posted Mar 29, 2001
Relationships 'eh what are they all about? I've had my fair share... oh I'm not boasting... it's one thing saying I've had my fair share of relationships and they were all great. It's another thing entirely to have to admit that every time you try to make a go of it, something goes wrong. That's me that is. If it's capable of being screwed up, then just hang around a bit, grab a chair and watch the master at work. I don't even need a screwdriver. Marriage... done that... didn't last very long, and at one stage made both World Wars look like a slight disagreement... and now after almost two years of perfection... No, no really... it was all... do you fancy going out? No, fair enough... Shall we do this? Yeah sounds good to me... etc. No pain, lots of gain that's what it was. Anyway, after almost two years of what I consider my best and most successful attempt at associating with the opposite sex, I get the... Thanks but no thanks. What do I have to do?... where am I going wrong?
S'funny how they always say that time makes things better... but... bloody hell this all happened in January and I think times running backwards, coz I sure as hell don't feel any happier... Oh well that's my rant for tonight. I'll have to delve deeply and try to find something else to whine about later.
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Latest reply: Mar 29, 2001
Geezah
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