h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Relationships 'eh what are they all about? I've had my fair share... oh I'm not boasting... it's one thing saying I've had my fair share of relationships and they were all great. It's another thing entirely to have to admit that every time you try to make a go of it, something goes wrong. That's me that is. If it's capable of being screwed up, then just hang around a bit, grab a chair and watch the master at work. I don't even need a screwdriver. Marriage... done that... didn't last very long, and at one stage made both World Wars look like a slight disagreement... and now after almost two years of perfection... No, no really... it was all... do you fancy going out? No, fair enough... Shall we do this? Yeah sounds good to me... etc. No pain, lots of gain that's what it was. Anyway, after almost two years of what I consider my best and most successful attempt at associating with the opposite sex, I get the... Thanks but no thanks. What do I have to do?... where am I going wrong?

S'funny how they always say that time makes things better... but... bloody hell this all happened in January and I think times running backwards, coz I sure as hell don't feel any happier... Oh well that's my rant for tonight. I'll have to delve deeply and try to find something else to whine about later.