h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We found werebadger in the snow today!

They started out as perfectly normal badger tracks leading away from the sett, then grew bigger and bigger, and suddenly turned into human bootprints.

You wouldn't be sending your army to spy on us, now would you?

the werebadger! Nothing to do with me! I'd be afraid... I'd be very* afraid

That's, er, reassuring...

Thank yourself lucky... we had the foot prints and tail swishing marks in my Fathers garden, over Christmas, from a Fox, which as far as we could tell was at least* ten foot tall, with a fifteen foot length I am pretty* sure we calculated it all correctly

You should've caught it and tamed it to ride on - you'd never need to take a bus again!

And if it sleeps curled up around your bed, it will lower the heating bills, too...

and I could have trained it to sit on my head and act as a living hat

And it could stick its tongue out at people you don't like