h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A Russian girl is trying to order some art from me. This is what she says:

"For money or you will be able simply to draw? It will be simple on ours much. but it is fine not in it put. I want drawing a portrait of a wolf on the right side. and with left a cheetah. it is possible?"

All right. I think she would like a drawing containing both a wolf and a cheetah. Does it sound like she's offering to pay?

I need to ask her questions to establish a large number of things. Such as: does she wish to have just the faces of the wolf and the cheetah, or full-body portrayals? Should the wolf and cheetah be in the same 'habitat' (which never happens in nature)? How big? Does she want pencil sketches, or a painting? Does she wish to have the actual thing or should I mail her image files? Based on all those things I have to decide how much to ask. Then I need to find out how the payment thing would work.

Does it sound to you like I'm going to be able to get that information from her? What do you think I should ask first?

I don't want to give up on this ... every commission is good business for me ... but the communication thing in this case daunts me!

It sounds like she's willing to pay, if you can work it out.

One suggestion: Ask Solnushka for a few key Russian phrases.

Otherwise, keep the questions really simple. Such as:

Do you want a painting or a sketch?

Do you want the head of the cheetah, or the whole cheetah?

That way, if she uses translation software, she has a chance of understanding what comes out. I suspect she's using translation software, and it may be because she only has a Cyrillic keyboard. Which you, on the other hand, don't have.

Just a thought.

It may also help if you know exactly where she came across your work, Willem. Do you know which of the sites where your work is displayed that she came from? That might indicate what of your works she was looking at when she decided to communicate with you.

OK ... Dmitri, I don't know Solnushka well at all! And how did you know I don't have a Cyrillic keyboard? But thanks for those other suggestions. I'll just mention one specific thing each time.

Elektra, the site where she's seen my work and where we're talking about it is one with a whole bunch of my works; but anyways, I did send her a message this evening, will see what she says back.

OK, now I'm in for it. Asking about how I might get paid, this is the answer:

"I can put money via the machine gun, on phone, or QIWI".

Don't mess with the Russians! But seriously ... what on earth could she be speaking about? Does anyone here know how QIWI works? Or at any rate, can anyone tell me how indeed I might receive payment from someone in Russia?

The machine gun is one too many for me.

I don't know QIWI, either. Does she do Pay Pal?

Does this help?

Read the article and it appears it does operate in South Africa.

http://thenextweb.com/insider/2012/12/14/russias-largest-payment-system-qiwi-may-be-heading-towards-an-ipo-as-a-part-of-its-global-expansion-plan/?&_suid=135931380420205058690665755421

Or this:

http://www.rustele.com/news-and-events/russian-qiwi-plans-a-new-payment-system-for-western-europe.html

Websailor

As for the machine gun that sounds like a mistranslation to me.



Websailor

I figured out the machine gun.

One translation for 'machine gun' is 'avtomat'. I think she meant by electronic funds transfer.

Machine translations. We hate 'em.

Love the machine gun. If she chooses that method I hope she pays in notes, not coins.

Qiwi seems to be a Russian company that offer payment facilities in partnership with Visa. Not sure on the details, as most of the info I can find is in Russian, but it seems legit enough.