A bored simpleton writes...
Good morning/afternoon/night (delete as applicable).
A thought struck me today whilst trapped in the mazelike environs of my local department store. Consider the makeup counters in such shops. The idea of these is that women (or indeed men - God knows we've all worn foundation at least once) approach the assistants with a view to purchasing cosmetics and are advised as to what to buy and how to apply the slap once they have it. This is, at least, how i have always been led to believe that they work - if anyone has any startling or novel insights on the secret function of the makeup counter i would be delighted to hear them. The point is, who in their right mind would take advice on cosmetics from people whose faces are orange with pan-stick, people whose heads grow by approximately 3cm in circumference due to the sheer volume of c**p that they smear across their poor overclogged pores? If there are any of these counter assistants out there i would be grateful if you could enlighten me as to exactly what the f**k the point of you is? This is your job, for christ's sakes, and it's not exactly rocket science, and yet you appear to be incapable of performing it. I'd best stop before this minor rant turns into an incitement to murder.
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