h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi S_W, I dropped a line into the AWW in regards to Pond being polished for inclusion in the UG.

I'm working on it here - A19633043

If you have any plans on changes let me know and I can include them there, as it stands I've only checked for spelling and grammar so far.

Look forward to working with you,

Matt

Paragraph 1: "its body was so fragile" - can this be "Is"?

Paragraph 6: "my skirt is billowing out like a girl" - "Like that of a girl"
"I prefer being alone here" - "To be alone"

Paragraph 7: "The sun has gone down, disappearing at last behind the flat landscape, and the moon is already more than halfway across the sky. The wind is getting cold" - "As the sun finishes its long decsent of the skies, dissapearing at last beneath the flat landscape, the moon is just begining his. The wind blows cold"

Those were the only bits that jarred me as I read it again.

As to "finishing" the story, I know that I said I was open to it, but I really don't want to. I think the story is complete in its own way as is.

I'll fix up those bits you noted no problem

On re-reading I feel that the ending is just right too. That subtle amount of mystery works well with the conflict of soothing calmness but jarring unsettled thought process.

Awesome! I'm glad this is going through. It's one of my personal favorites, certainly my favorite prose piece.

Well, get your plate, I think I'm done!

If you're happy, then I'll put it in the list of Entries ready for inclusion

Well, the changes that I noted for Paragraphs 1 and 6 are still there.

Once those are changed, it looks good to me! Thanks for helping me out!

Done