h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...Will be three points for the Blades at Valley Parade. Having watched City's abysmal performance at Coventry last night, I feel that I can pretty well guarantee the prompt arrival of the . It will be personally delivered by our hilarious comedy 'defence'...

Why thank you In that case I predict goals each for D'Jaffo, Asaba and Nicholson

But I fear that the Blades awful time keeping will let them down again and you will get goals back in the 87th, 88th and 90th minutes. Will someone please tell our lot that a game of football lasts a FULL hour and a half

If you're right, it won't be the first 3-3 draw at Valley Parade this season! You're usually guaranteed goals at VP, because City can't defend but they can *sometimes* go forward fairly competently.

As you may have heard, our manager Jim Jefferies announced his resignation yesterday, thus giving a lot of City fans exactly what they wanted for Christmas! Our youth team coach is taking charge of the team tomorrow. We shall see what effect, if any, that has. I doubt if he'll have time before the game to introduce the team to radical new concepts such as marking and tackling...

Anyway, your present was duly delivered as promised.

17th! We're on our way to Wycombe... (s into )

*manly sort of *

There, there, have another

You're going nowhere near Wycombe for the time being. I know there is that kiss of death phrase, "they are too good to go down," but I think it applies to Bradford. Or at least there are other teams who are a darn sight worse than you and are in a poorer position. You are still scoring goals remember.

Trying to look at the league objectively (ha!), Stockport are doomed as I fear are Wednesday. Then its only one space to fill which I reckon is going to be either Grimsby or Crewe.

Are you sure? I came back home with cold and depression today after yet another defeat. Meanwhile, Grimsby had a good win today, and Crewe always struggle and then survive thanks to the brilliance of Dario Gradi.

Stockport do look doomed (although guess where they got their one away win this season?) and Wednesday look to be in total disarray, which I'm sure you find very distressing.

But my Bradford boys just can't get it right at the moment. And even if Stockport and Wednesday do go down, that leaves one relegation place... which we are now just seven points above.

And this is how ambitious we are: our goal will be guarded for the next month by Cheltenham Town's reserve 'keeper, the splendidly-named Carl Muggleton. We've got an injury crisis, and he was the best we could get on loan.

isn't enough any more. I think I'll get some with the money I'll save not going to the away game at Burnley on New Year's Day. I just can't take it any more!

Hmm maybe things aren't so good right now but I think you've got plenty of time. Anyway after today's performance by Wednesday there can only be one place up for grabs in the final bottom three.

Shorry about the previoush hyshterical outburstht. I've almostht got over it all now, for shome reashon...

Me and my mate have decided to go to big one at Grimsby (or rather, Cleethorpes) on Feb 2 instead of witnessing the inevitable New Year's Day massacre at Burnley. Of course, if City win at Turf Moor despite our pessimism, we'll feel rather embarrassed...

Three One. Can't be bad

Thank you!

Admittedly, it helped that the opposition were awful and had two men sent off! But still, it was nice to have something to celebrate on a Saturday evening for a change. And well done on your boys' fine win in darkest Kent!

Oh 'eck. 1-0 and they've done the double over you

Never mind. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on. Lets face it, you aren't going down this season. No way. You've got points and (more importantly) goals aplenty over the basement folk.

In the words of our favourite chant against the promotion hopefuls...

We'll see you all next year,
We'll see you all next year...

Thank you for the sympathy - it is sorely needed!

Wish I had your confidence in my team, though! I reckon that we still need a couple more wins to survive, and right now I'm not at all sure where they're going to come from!

Oh come on man have faith. I'm a Blade and faith is what keeps us all going, and it works

We we're the team that got relegated in the last kick of the season. We failed in a playoff in extra time. Yet we were also the team that were flat broke and beaten, way adrift at the foot of the table in February '96, yet finished 8th.

If you really think that you are going down. Then I have £20 of my hard earned dosh that says you are staying up. If you want to take that bet, then do so. And you can pay me my winnings at the next h2g2 meet

I won't take that bet YET - but I reserve the right to change my mind!

Thing is, we've got Manchester City at home on Friday night - and I have a strange feeling (based on long experience) that we might just be perverse enough to lose to Stockport and then beat Man. City.

There again, perhaps I'm dreaming...

We drew 0-0 away.
Then lost 3-1 at home.
So that's 2 points in the bag for you

How could we get two points from a game?

I said it was

You've just made me ! After tonight's result that's quite an achievement!

I notice that two of my three relegation predictions came true - Stockport and Crewe. And the other two I mentioned came 19th and 20th.

I'm looking forward to next season, as there are loads more local games for me to attend. Brighton and Reading, probably Ipswich and hopefully Brentford No idea what the football is going to be like though, as the club are looking to cut one third off of the wage bill for next season, and there is no money around to buy any new strikers.

Ho hum. I suppose most clubs are going to be in the same sort of position. Interesting times ahead...