h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(they haven't got a tiger, this will have 2 do!?) grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I envy Mr. Tiggs!

Because he shares my bed?

he he! Got it in one!

I know you so well!

You poor thing!

As Mayor of the Munchkin City
In the county of the land of Oz
I welcome you most regally
But we've got to verify it legally
To see (to see)
If she (if she)
Is morally
Ethically
Spiritually
Physically
Positively
Absolutely
Undeniably
And reliably
Dead

John had
Great big
Waterprrof
Boots on;
John had a
Great Big
Waterproof
Hat;
John had a
Great Big
Waterproof
Mackintosh -
And that
(Said John)
Is
That.

James James
Morrison Morrison
Weatherby George Dupree
Took great
Care of his Mother,
Though he was only three.
James James
Said to his Mother,
"Mother," he said, said he;
"You must never go down to the end of the town, if
you don't go down with me."

But my favourite has to be:

Sir Brian had a battleaxe with great big knobs on;
He went among the villagers and blipped them on
the head.
On Wednesday and on Saturday, but mostly on the
latter day,
He called at all the cottages, and this is what he said:
"I am Sir Brian" (ting-ling)
"I am Sir Brian" (rat-tat)
"I am Sir Brian, as bold as a lion -
Take that! - and that! - and that!"

not forgetting:

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
Alice is marrying one of the guard.
"A soldier's life is terrible hard,"
Says Alice.

grew up with it, my dear!

My favourite's the one concerning sand between the toes, I forget the actual poem though!

I went down to the shouting sea,
Taking Christopher down with me,
For Nurse had given us sixpence each -
And down we went to the beach.

We had sand in the eyes and the ears and the nose,
And sand in the hair, and sand-between-the-toes.
Whenever a good nor'-wester blows,
Christopher is certain of
Sand-between-the-toes.

etc.

And yes, I have got the book in front of me!!!!!

I still prefer Bad Sir Brian Bottany. And I adore The King's Breakfast + the one that starts "King John was not a good man," but I believe that's in 'Now we are six,' and I've never had that book, I've just had it read to me loads.

That's interesting I have the NOW WE ARE SIX book in front of me but not the other one!

.........and oh Father Christmas, if you love me at all,
Bring me a big red Indiarubber ball!

Fragile, fragile Teddy R
What a precious bear I are.

"What's Risk It?" asked the puppy.
"I don't know," said Teddy Robinson, "but it goes nicely with Biscuit."

it's difficult to catch an excited Alexander you've mistaken for a match.

There once was a Dormouse who lived in a bed
Of delphiniums (blue) and geraniums (red),
And all the day long he'd a wonderful view
Of geraniums (red) and delphiniums (blue)

I'm not following that