h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are you a Queen fan then, or what? Did you see the repeat of the Queen rockumentaries and video thingy on Channel 4 last week end (if you live in Britian)?

Yeah, I'm a sort of Queen fan - Killer Queen is my favourite song! I didn't see the program - you'll have to inform me about things like that in the future

Well, nice to meet another fan. I always thought that Sheer Heart Attack was their best offering, whaddaya reckon.

The band I'm in plays a couple of queen songs, Don't Stop Me Now and One Vision. We're having a go at Rhapsody but I can't see us pulling it off unless we go the same route as Queen did and make it into a medley. Hey that would mean doing Killer Queen!!

Well, I can play 'Another one bites the dust' on the bass... but that doesn't really count, does it?

I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like........

oh, sorry

You can ride your bike - wherever you like......

As long as you're not a fat bottomed girl!!

She's not...

That's good. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, I just couldn't resist posting that. Didn't mean to offend.

Eats slice of humble pie.

Can I have a slice?

Do you really need some? You're more than welcome, after all you did give me some green. There again I wouldn't give you an asprin if you didn't have a headache. Do you want me to save you some for later, should you need to grovel to anyone. It keeps for months in the freezer.

Ok, well I'll save it then, does it taste any good?

It doesn't happen 2 be Apple Pie, does it?

I wouldn't know I was busy with...other things

It's actually made from finest Humble. (In a similar way that Mohair jumpers are made from Mo and Moleskin trousers are actually made from tiny burrowing rodents). Often a little bitter, but should not be of a consistancy that sticks in your throat.

I wish I could think of something witty to say, but why change the habit of a lifetime.
God, I'm depressed, I'm even beginning to sound like Marvin...
as in

If you were a Monty Python fan I would have to say to you....

"There is only one thing worse than being witty...."

If you are, you'll know the rest.

Here have this large beaker of Wittyberry juice. The witty berry is found exclusively on the planet Vogon, and is actually a deadly poison to the inhabitants - unsurprisingly enough!

How does that feel?

A poison to its inhabitants?
That would explain a lot

You only drink orange juice, my dear

and you cider my darling

No, Stella Artois me.