h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello Mister Death,
I had a friend called Death, is it you? Er... When I say friend, he wasn't my friend of course, as I have no friends. Nobody likes me because I bore them. Do I bore you?

WbB

First of all: YOU DON'T BORE ME!
But I think that I'm not the Death who was not your friend.

You think you are depressed? You don't know my life. That would cheer you up (for a moment and than make you sad like everything in life does).

Hello Death, I am glad that you are not the friend I knew, as I didn't like him anyway.

Thank you for saying that I don't bore you, I know that you are only being kind, but it is good to read.

Nothing cheers me up, I can't help the way I am, but if you want to tell me your woes, then I will listen. Teddy Bears are very good listeners you know. That's because nobody ever listens to them, so we just sit there quietly, listening to peoples problems... and occasionally getting cried on...

I hate getting wet, but does anyone care??? No, wet fur smells you know, I smell nearly all the time.

Life, don't talk to me about life!!!

WbB

I really meant that: You don't bore me!
And I will not bore you with my life (allready bored to many people with that stuff).

P.s.: Not weeping at all...

Weeping is bad for you, it makes your fur rot.

WbB

I'm getting wet bones under my long and dark robe. And I even haven't got any eyes...