h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay, first problem is the easiest - click the preferences button, and a little screen will pop up displaying all of your details, including your user name. Just enter in whatever you like. As for the second problem......why is the white/black thing such a problem? Because of your parents? Where do you live? ie: is it a community thing or is it just your house? The race issue adds a whole different level of complexity to an already difficult issue......

Still, enjoy your time on the guide, I'm sure an ACE will be by soon, but in the meantime just lurk, drop by my page or my Kingdom (by clicking on my name or going to http://www.h2g2.com/A446078), and feel free to chat by clicking reply...

Hope to see you around the guide......

It's just the way it is at my house. And it's mostly what my dad thinks. He thinks that it's ok to be friends with them, but when it comes to dating them.......he doesn't think it's right. He says "stick to your own race". I think that's dumb, because if i wanted to date someone that was french, or german......or almost any nationality, he probably wouldn't care.....basically because there isn't a visible difference to us. And my dad also says that it is partly because other people still don't think that black and white people should be together, just cuz other people are prejudice and don't like it i don't think that it should effect me.
Any advice????

It seems fairly apparent that your dad is using the "view of the majority" as a cover for his own feelings on the issue - I don't intend to judge him, but he's obviously fairly racist, whether in a negative way or not, it still creates problems for you. I get the feeling from what you say that the main thing stopping you from going out with this black guy is the attitude of your father, rather than any particular committment to your current boyfriend. I don't mean that you don't care for him, but that if they were both white and your father didn't have a problem then you would probably go for the second guy. Is that right?

You are exactly right! If the black guy was a white guy i would drop my current b/f in a second. I do care about him, but i've been with him for what seems like a long time to mean....and it's just not as wonderful as it was. But sense the other guy is black....i don't really want to dump my b/f when i know that i probably won't be able to be with him. Because then i will be left with nothing. And i know how selfish that must sound, and actually, i'm pretty sure it is. And i would love to tell my b/f that i would just like to take a break from him....and just see what would happen a few weeks from now....but i'm afraid if i do that, i'll decide that i still want to be with him and he won't want to be with me. Grrrr! i'm so frustrated with myself!

Hell yeah it's selfish! The point is, it has to be selfish because you're not here to keep him happy, you're here to keep yourself happy, when it comes right down to it. I mean, you (probably ) don't want to actually be a bitch, but how you feel about the relationship is more important, to you, than how he feels about it. It has to be, otherwise you only exist through him. You're scared to be alone....more so than the racial thing this seems to be why you stay with your current b/f, not because you want to but because you don't want to have no-one. But if you don't still love him (and caring is *not* the same thing) then maybe you should get out anyway......if you can manage something with the other guy, then good, but if not......not being in a relationship isn't the worst thing in the world (unless, of course, you're never in a relationship, which would, I guess, suck). The courage that you need to end the relationship is the same as the courage you may need to defy your father if you really want to be with this other guy.......

Ok, so here is my latest news for you. This guy that i like so much, and that i know likes me said that he wanted to be with me so bad that if i stayed with my current b/f, he would keep our relationship a secret! That's really nice of him, but i don't really want to cheat on my b/f, but i would if it came down to that. It's really terrible i know, but i don't know what else to do..........

Why are you willing to cheat on your boyfriend but not break up with him? Even if you try to keep it a secret, he'll find out eventually and be even more hurt than he would be if you just break up with him. Or won't the other guy keep it a secret if you're only with him, and so you're worried about your dad finding out? I don't feel, just at the minute, very well qualified to give anyone advice on relationships, but I would suggest you drop your current, go with the guy you really like and keep it a secret....at least for a while. If you think you actually have a future with him, and get to a stage where you feel you can be independent from your parents, that's probably the time to come clean......

I think that you're the only person that i've talked to with the solution. But i still don't like it.......i don't know why i'm willing to cheat on my b/f. Probably because he wouldn't find out, it's basically a sure thing. And it's really weird, cuz i never thought that i would be the type to do that. As for breaking up with him and having a relationship with the other guy, and not have my parent's find out, that wouldn't happen. They always have to know where i am, and who i'm with, and i'm sure that my dad won't want me hanging out with this guy either. I've slowly been telling my dad about him......just random things....i haven't told him that he's black yet though....so i don't know what is gonna happen when i eventually do that. But i did take at least one step in the right direction, i took the guy to meet my mom. She just thinks that we are friends....but luckily from what she saw and heard, she liked him.

So in other words you would use your current boyfriend as a cover for seeing this other guy? Maybe it's just me, but that sounds a tad....risky, to say the least. And how likely are they to believe that, especially if you've started telling them things about this other guy? Do you not have any other excuse you often use when you don't want your parents to know where you are? I just noticed this is all questions, sorry. At least your mother has met this guy, and seems to like him. Sorry, one more question. Any chance your parents could talk about these guys you've told them about, and figure out that it's the same guy? That could be a bad way for your father to find out that he's black......

My mom won't say anything, i know that. I guess i am using my b/f as sort of a cover. I usually only lie to them about where i'm goin or where i've been, not about who i'm with. That's a little too risky. They would find that part out......but for now it's safe to say that i've bumped into him somewhere, and we hung out....that's what i said last weekend when i "bumped" into him at the mall.
Don't worry bout all the questions, i don't mind. i think i've ansered all of them. Besides the more info you have, the more you can help me!

Well, I try to be helpful, anyway... I don't know about this "just happened to bump into him" thing....one, there's a limit to how hard you can bump into him , and two, how often can you just happen to bump into this guy, and are you going to bump into him while with your boyfriend? (which, whilst dangerous, strengthens the story). What country are you in?

I live in the U.S. I live in a very small area, so you see the same people all the time! That's why it's so easy to say that i bumbed into him. It happens with everyone. And i've hung out with this guy while i was with my b/f.......he doesn't seem to mind too much......

What do you do if you want to do more than just "hang out"?

I don't know..........all i know that this guy is comin out tomorrow after i get back from school...and he's gonna stay for a while, and then my b/f is gonna come out, hehe, that's not really that good....

So your b/f doesn't mind you bumping into this guy, but may be a little upset if he finds you with him.....probably fair enough, I guess. How much time do you have before your b/f comes over?

A few hours, but the guy will definitely be gone before my b/f gets here. But right now, i mean, exactly right now we are fighting. He's being a jerk because i was hanging out with my friend instead of him (this friend is a girl). Maybe he thinks i'm bisexual or somethin! hehe, i'm not though!

Sounds like you and your boyfriend get along real well... Or hang on, was it the other guy you were fighting with.....I'm not sure now Seems a pretty silly thing to fight about, I imagine you tend to spend quite a bit of time with your female friends without the idea of having sex with them entering your mind....

It's my b/f that i'm fighting with. I haven't gotten to spend much time with my female friends, or any of my friends for that matter! He takes up all of my time. It didn't bother me that much for a while, but now, i would really like to see my other friends too! Partly cuz it's my senior year in high school.....and i probably won't being seeing many of my friends for much longer!

I bet it probably didn't bother you n the first place though, did it.....you probably dumped your friends quicker than a rollercoaster at the top of a really steep descent... I can understand wanting to spend more time with your friends, they do tend to disappear after the end of high school, no matter how hard you try, it just isn't the same......Guy#2 is to be expected to be more understanding about your friends, is he?

Well, i would hope he would be! Especially if he doesn't have a problem with me cheating on my b/f for him! It would be kinda silly if he wasn't, right??