h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Bloody Turkish lorry drivers. They sit on the wrong side of the cab on the motorway, then they pull out without being able to see properly and crunch into the side of the little Fiat that's minding its own business trying to overtake them. And bounce the poor little Fiat into the side of my car when I'm minding my own business in the outside lane. And make a dirty great dent and cause me to swerve violently and nearly hit the central reservation and make me really very cross. Really very bloody cross indeed. I'm crosser than somebody who's really, really cross. I wouldn't mind so much if the b*st*rd hadn't failed to stop. Poor Mr and Mrs Fiat seemed pretty shook up - lucky nobody was hurt. I was inches from being an ex-Kebab - I think that if I hadn't done so many miles in so many vehicles and passed so many driving tests I would have been.

Did I mention I'm cross? Ye gods and little fishes, I'm cross.

I don't suppose you got his number did you? or any other details?

glad to hear you're OK and Mr & Mrs Fiat too, metal can be mended a lot easier

Nah - I got a partial reg, and the company name off the truck. I was parking up on the hard shoulder as he drove off - I didn't have anything to hand to write on and I couldn't make out the full foreign plate. With it being foreign the police have no records for it, the attending policeman said he'd check the car park at the service station for any other wagons from the same outfit to try and get a phone number, but he wasn't optimistic. I reckon he's on his way to Liverpool for the Belfast ferry.

Not too concerned about the car, it's an insurance job and it's clear I'm in no way to blame. It needs a new nearside front wing, and both nearside doors. Bloody annoying, the offside front door is rusty and it could do with a new one and the offside rear door had a dent when we bought it! Anyhow, it was the Admiral's car. If I'd been in mine it wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't have been going fast enough to overtake anything in the moggy.

Not very pleasant though, driving along at 70 mph when suddenly a car is propelled violently sideways into the side of your car. He had his wife and little kiddie in the car - she seemed pretty upset - she probably thought she was about to die. I felt totally calm, still do (it happened just before 8.00 pm). Just cross.

I suppose it's all those years as an AA man and a wagon driver and a driving instructor - I just exchanged details, calmly phoned the police and gave them decent directions - never really thought about it, just followed the procedure. Experience makes you blase, I guess, although I've never experienced a high speed collision like that before, turned my car to about 30 degrees heading straight for the barrier. I needed to do some quick correction - didn't think about it, but it obviously worked because I'm here to post this.

Actually I hadn't had a moving car accident at all (although I've had 2 cars trashed while they were parked up) since I was shunted up the arse by some herbert in an Escort van in about 1979 - only about a mile away from this one, now I think about it.

*hands out a good long big-breasted *

That sounds f**king awful Kebab. What would we have done without you!!!

Ex-Kebab!!!

Thanks Sat and Granny for the s and s. I was pretty calm about it all, but I couldn't sleep last night - in the end I got up at 2.00am and watched on tv - I like , but not at 2.00am. God knows who ITV thought would be watching - they'd shown the match twice already! Perhaps it was a special service for insomniac Manchester City fans to watch United not win - I found a couple posting on the City message board!

Consequently I was knackered today at work and felt really down. A mate in our office reckoned I should go home after lunch - I hung on for a bit but took her advice and bailed mid-afternoon. I still feel a bit dissociated, but I taught my karate lesson, trained myself and I think an early night tonight should see me right.