h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It' also soccer if your an Australian. The difference is that Manchester City has plenty of meaning, and a loyal group of fans, over here. Don't interpret that as me being one of them, I've been a Wolves fan for 30 years ( since I was 8 - usually to my great disappointment). I love the fact that you drive cars with character. I used to race Post-classic motorcycles (a Yamaha TR3). And any bloke who doesn't love kebabs is less than a man! Grab the chilli while you're up getting two more beers, please. Yeah.

Hi! Sorry for the delay in replying, I don't get on here that often at the moment. I was aware that we have fans in Australia, several of them post on the City message boards I frequent. Wolves, eh? Did you originally hail from the West Midlands, or did you pick a team at a distance. There seems to be some interest in English football in Australia, but I don't really know how much of that is ex-pat. I follow City because that's where I was taken when I was a kid (first match, Dec 17 1966, City 1, Southampton 1) - they are my local team.

Don't know how in touch you are, but we've got a big match coming up against your guys a week on Saturday (April 10). Bit of a relegation battle. I've just organised seats for a good mate of mine who's a Blue - she'll be taking her boyfriend who's a committed Wolf! That should make for a harmonious evening!

Mrs Kebab (The Admiral) drives a modern Ford. It's very, erm, efficient. And quite comfortable. And quite quick. Hmmm!

I can see that the Australian way would be to my taste - kebabs and beer - yeah, that's the sort of lifestyle I like.

Nice of you to drop by, and good luck with the studies. I had a scientific background in a vague kind of way, many years ago, but don't use it - I don't even remember the formula for that clear wet stuff that you can drink when you can't get beer! What's it called? Oh yeah, it doesn't matter.

Picked Wolves up at a distance, and there is quite a bit of interest in the Premier League. I'm well aware of our relegation "situation". However, I will be on and off the air for about 10 days due to computer repairs. I will try to check messages from uni, like now, but don't know if/when the next chance will be. Please keep in touch during this little hiccup. Hope to hear from you soon.

I don't get on h2g2 nearly as much as I used to myself, so don't worry if I'm a bit slow replying to stuff. I've got a ticket to see us play away at Villa on Sunday - if you were a local West Midlander you'd probably have split loyalties on that one - do you still have the local rivalry even though you aren't actually local? You should really have it in for the Baggies! Still, you need to get something at Southampton on Saturday - after losing 5-2 to Chelsea when you were leading for a good part of the match your lads really need a lift.

I have to say I have a thorough dislike of Man Yoonited - I was ecstatic when we stuffed them 4-1 three weeks back - didn't get my voice back for 2 days. I'm always hoarse after away games - the atmosphere is so much better because there's just 3,000 of the most committed and noisy supporters all together.

It's interesting that there's some interest in Australia in the Premier League - we have quite a few American players over here despite the lack of (adult male) interest in the game there, but not many Aussies have made the grade.

We have Danny Tiatto (known to many as Mad Dan), although I expect him to leave at the end of the season - he hasn't been able to break back into the first team, and has had a few injuries. He is popular with the fans for his pace and his commitment (he doesn't half get stuck in - and sometimes sent off), although the final product was often missing - his crossing and shooting left a lot to be desired. I've seen him playing for the reserves a couple of times recently - he doesn't look to be playing for his place - didn't want to take defenders on, didn't want to get stuck into tackles. It's a pity.

There you go - get me started on football and it's hard to stop me. Anyhow, off to the pub shortly to drink beer with my usual Friday mates who are all big City fans - all the home games, most of the aways, and a couple of us do the reserves as well. I wonder what we'll talk about!

Oh, and an update - my mate who was taking her Wolves supporting boyfriend to the match has dumped him! Nothing to do with football, though, she was fed up with him. I'm glad, he's a plonker (not because of football, he just is), but she's dumped him before and taken him back - hope it sticks this time.

OK, I'll do this in the order of your letter. No we don't have an appreciation of local rivalry, but yes I am aware that I am supposed to detest WBA.
5-2, I stayed up all bloody night listening to the commentary on the radio, only to be disheartened (Jimmy Floyd Hazzaw*#k).
There are quite a few Aussies (just in excess of 200 now I think) playing in Europe, and I guarantee that there aren't 200 yanks playing outside the U.S (also keep in mind that their population is 14 times bigger - that means they should have exported 2800 footballers to be on par with us). You might know of Kewell, Viduka, Mark Schwarzer (GK), "Spider" Kalac (GK), Kevin Muscat, Stan Lazaridis, Craig Moore from Rangers, Paul Okon, and many more that I could name if I could keep a closer eye on the game. Unfortunately study has taken over, I've given my telly away, only get to read the paper infrequently, and so can't be sure of which clubs everybody has moved to. Did you know the Italian striker Christian Vieri grew up here and returned to italy at 15. When he first drew attention he was asked who his sporting hero was, and much to the confusion of the Italians he answered (former Australian Test Cricket captain) Allan Border. Apparently he showed some promise as a bowler.

Chelski did it to us, too, although the score wasn't as spectacular. We played them off the park for 80 minutes, they barely came out of their half, but we couldn't put away any of our chances (14 goal attempts, I think it was). Then with a few minutes to go, quick break and bloody Gudjohnsen puts one in. Even Ranieri more or less admitted they'd mugged us. Still, that's football.

Yeah, Kewell and Viduka are the biggest Aussie names here in English football (I have Kewell in my fantasy team, but like Liverpool he's not really done the business this year). I think Viduka will be snapped up at the end of the season - I can't see Leeds hanging on to him. He didn't look very enthusiastic when we played them the other week. Lazaridis has had a decent season, like his team, but he's not high profile - like his team. Just gets on with the job.

Some of the Americans here are quite high profile - you don't get much higher profile than being Yoonited's goalie, although Howard's form has slipped lately - I think they dropped him for the Arsenal game, and Friedel was brilliant for Blackburn last season. We have Claudio Reyna of course, but I've yet to work out what he's for.

I think the main force in English football at the moment is probably still the French. Here's a bit of trivia about my lot - did you know that we are the only English team to have won a European trophy with 11 English players? The European Cup Winners Cup in 1970 - I'm old enough to remember it, but not to have gone, sadly. It was considered quite exotic to have an overseas player in your side in those days.

I didn't know that about Christian Vieri, and I love what he said about Alan Border - I'll be passing that one around! I can well understand why he'd choose Border as an inspiration, but it's certainly not what I'd have expected!