h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The office kitchen

Much has already been written about office kitchens, and many threads (probably my journal last year, too) have been used to vent people's ire on the subject.

Where I work, we have a microwave, a small grill/oven, a kettle and two hotplates. The atmosphere is quite friendly. One office has taken it upon themselves to clear out the fridge every Friday, which after the initial objections, has proved to be a Good Idea as everything is now bright and shiny and hygenic in there.

I have for the past ten years been the one who has washed and ironed the tea towels (I know - I'm the only one who irons tea towels, but they have to fit into a tiny space in a drawer), and buys in milk, sugar, washing up liquid etc. A rota system, in my experience simply does not work, and some people seem not to have an eye for things running out.

Recently I had a purge on all the plastic containers that had gathered in there. I gave an ultimatum for everyone to take home what was theirs, a second ultimatum for anyone to buy any unclaimed items for 1 Euro in the coffee kitty and on the third date everything (even genuine, expensive Tupperware) was chucked out, regardless.

One girl has connections with a food supplier and organises the coffee beans.

And with our little cookery club, we reduce the lunchtime crush in the kitchen, with one person cooking for four.

Everyone is sure they are the only one who fill up the water in the coffee machine, and empties the dishwasher, but I am sure there are those who never do either of these chores. This is hard to prove, so, apart from that, all in all, our system works well and causes no ruptures in the work climate.

Lunch today: red peppers stuffed with potato and cheese, lamb's lettuce and a cream cheese sauce. We are annoyed with ourselves that we haven't kept a diary of what we have cooked and how we liked it. We could have published a cookery book by now!

You and your tea towels!

And coffee beans??????

I caused a major row in our office fridge by clearing out past their best items. The office junior at the time retaliated by constructing a sort of "fort" out of her juice boxes in the fridge with black marker saying DO NOT THROW OUT written on them.

Yes we have a superduper coffee machine that grinds as it brews as it froths. The noise of it grinding the coffee has a Pavlovesque effect on me - when I hear it I want a cup of coffee.

One way round the fridge brigade is to have a large plastic container with your name on and hide stuff in it.

My co-workers are such a bunch of psychos that I find it safer to remain uninvolved in the whole communal fridge business.

I developed the taste for black tea and coffee specifically so that I would never have to be in a rota for buying/organising/disposing of milk again.

I bring in my own ground coffee and make my own coffee in my own plunger-pot, which I've had since the 1980s. This avoids arguments.

Isn't it amazing how passionate some of those milk kitty arguments can become?

Aah - that's another thing we have sorted. Milk, sugar, salt and washing up liquid, tea towels, etc., are all paid for out of the official office petty cash.

So I bought 36 litres of long life milk this evening and will get the money refunded tomorrow. The shelf where the milk is kept will take up to 36 litres, so I go and stock up when it's down to the last 2 cartons.

Coffee is totted up every couple of months or so, and we all pay for what we have drunk. There is a tally sheet in the kitchen where everyone makes a mark when they make themselves a cup of coffee.

Some people may occasionally forget to note down their coffees, but the proportions are about right- the addicts have three lines of thick marks, the rest of us about half a line.

Sometimes I get cross when it seems that they all think that the fairies come in and see to it all. Just wait till I retire in 6 years' time - that'll show them!

[Amy P]

reddit

Maslow's hierachy of needs - anything involving food will provoke really strong emotional responses.

That doesn't explain toilet seat squabbles...I think they're part of the same phenomenon as milk kitty wars...

It's something in human psychology whereby the big stuff is forgivable, but the tiny things cause blue murder.

(as to toilet seats: in our company it is how people hang the toilet roll. I spend a good 5 seconds every time I use the facilities hanging it the right way round )

There's an entry on that

A972290

This used to have the B-word in the title, but the editors recently bowdlerised it...