Journal Entries
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I'm Really Not A Pussy Person...
Posted Oct 14, 2000
I'm not a pussy person...
Today I have met perhaps one of the most vicious b******s in the history of the universe... I am, of course, referring to "Ginger", the irritating little git who sees fit to crap in my back garden at every opportunity... What do people see in these creatures that could even possibly make them desirable as a pet? They crap everywhere, attack you, live off you for food, show no affection whatsoever and scratch you to death... Retractable claws are a frightening concept and one which I hope not to come across when I can avoid it...
If people want these little bleeders (or cats, as they are more commonly known) as pets then why don't they keep them in the house? If a dog, a gentle and placid creature, were to be allowed to roam the city freely then they'd be picked up and put down... This surely isn't right... Cats meanwhile, perhaps the most irritating pains ever to have slipped through a pair of flaps, are allowed to roam freely, maul small children and get away with it...
Cats aren't even loyal for Christ's sake, unlike dogs, and will only ever turn up if hungry and even then they'll bugger off to five other houses looking for food before humping all the other strays and leaving us with more cats to deal with... Why can't they all just be shot so we can have proper cats eyes in the middle of the road?
Farewell,
Mr. Odie
You may have detected a slight dislike of cats in that entry but I really can't stand them... If you are a cat lover then it's nothing personal but I think you should look after them better and teach them proper manners like other, more civilised pets... And I'd just like to make it clear that, whilst I dislike cats, I don't go around smacking them to a pulp with saucepans before making a nice stew out of their still gooey remains 
) That's not my job...
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Oct 14, 2000
You Rexy Thing...
Posted Oct 13, 2000
Does anybody remember the Aardman Animations series shown a few years ago called 'Rex the Runt'? It featured four cartoon dogs (Rex, Bad Bob, Wendy and Vince possibly people called Lucy Quek and Marion Parker) and featured special guest stars such as Paul Merton, Eddie Izzard, Kathy Burke, Birmingham and even less special guest stars such as Pam Ayres... I've just found a video of all thirteen episodes and was wondering if anybody remembered it... You probably won't, but still...
Farewell,
Mr. Odie x
Discuss this Journal entry [8]
Latest reply: Oct 13, 2000
Gimme Gimme Gimme A Man After Midnight...
Posted Oct 13, 2000
Okay, just be straight with me... Why does almost everybody I know despise this truly underrated comedy packed full of the vaguely attractive James Dreyfus and the astonishingly gorgeous Kathy Burke? It may be crude, puerile and incredibly distasteful but it is also undeniably funny and packed full of great one liners...
Why then do people hate it so? Kathy Burke is perhaps one of the greatest actresses this country has ever created and is undeniably popular*, as is James Dreyfus who suitably fills the role of camp gay man... Kathy Burke dreaming about being screwed by Dale Winton in a public lavatory is inspired, as is perhaps the amusing "101 Other Uses For A Coffin" montage... I personally can't see what anyone has against it and would like to be told why...
Incidentally, does anyone know if James Dreyfus is actually gay or not? I never thought he was, but people have told me he admitted it in interviews, etc...
* Kathy Burke is fantastic and it's not just my opinion... Everybody likes her and she has a unique way of saving truly awful films... Kevin & Perry Go Large would have been awful had it not been for her... After seeing her choices on Room 101, it became quite clear that she is my ideal woman... Is it just coincidence that she's best know for playing a man?
Anyway, I'm off to watch Tommy and Alan beat each other up...
Farewell, my friends,
Mr. Odie x
Discuss this Journal entry [10]
Latest reply: Oct 13, 2000
Coming Out...
Posted Oct 6, 2000
Hello,
For anyone who hasn't yet had the benefit of realising then I'm here to say that I'm gay... I'm not ashamed of it and only hope you'll all be as happy for me as I am for all you straight people... And of course any gay/bisexuals who are out there...
If anyone out there's been going through similar stuff then I'd just like to say it will get better... Up until a week ago only my friend Emily knew and I've recently told my mother who took it really well... Don't be afraid as to how people will react... I know it sounds stupid, and I didn't think it'd be any good when people said that to me but it's true... People who love you won't change because of it... They'll only be happy that you're happy... Just take it at whatever pace comes naturally to you and you'll be fine... Just don't work yourself up into a state about it... Believe me, telling people will be the end to all your stress and worry...
And if people treat you differently because you're queer then they're not worth it... They're simply missing out on knowing you for who you are...
Farewell,
Mr. Odie x
Discuss this Journal entry [68]
Latest reply: Oct 6, 2000
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Mr. Odie, Man's Best Friend {not quite deceased}
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