h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

G'day from sunny New Zealand. You seem a knowledgable sort of person. I'm having trouble deciding what to wear to my dart club's Christmas function. Any suggestions?

Loony

Scrum cap, long underpants and sandals, of course.

Alas, we aren't allowed to wear hats inside the club

You will have to have a word with the Club Committee about changing the No Hats rule: their fashion sense seems sadly stunted.
Even the most stunning ensemble needs a fetching piece of headgear to punctuate it and round off the overall impression.
Where would you be, for example, if you swept into the darts club in lederhosen, puffy shirt and riding boots, and your head was bare of the Tyrolean number with the feather? A laughing stock, is what you'd be.
Have you ever seen Her Gracious Madge, the Queen Mum, without a hat? No, certainly not. A true arbiter of fashion, that woman, and one who is a shining example to us all. Do you realise that she has a matching beanie (with ostrich feather trim) for each of her sensible flannel nighties? For she was never one needlessly to inflame the passions of His Late Gr M with flimsy bits of lacy nightgear as worn by her granddaughters-in-law and looked what happened to them.

You will have to have a word with the Club Committee about changing the No Hats rule: their fashion sense seems sadly stunted.
Even the most stunning ensemble needs a fetching piece of headgear to punctuate it and round off the overall impression.
Where would you be, for example, if you swept into the darts club in lederhosen, puffy shirt and riding boots, and your head was bare of the Tyrolean number with the feather? A laughing stock, is what you'd be.
Have you ever seen Her Gracious Madge, the Queen Mum, without a hat? No, certainly not. A true arbiter of fashion, that woman, and one who is a shining example to us all. Do you realise that she has a matching beanie (with ostrich feather trim) for each of her sensible flannel nighties? For she was never one needlessly to inflame the passions of His Late Gr M with flimsy bits of lacy nightgear as worn by her granddaughters-in-law and looked what happened to them.