h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Greetings good Ottox! It is I, King Cthulhu of Balwyniti, come to officially invite you to become a member of my fine Kingdom. Any position is open to you, particularly if you wish to obtain a knighthood for all of the valourious acts already performed. The official paperwork is attached below, so if you are able to complete the application and return it forthwith, we look forward to (officially) seeing you in the Kingdom...

This is an official invitation for the hereinunder named being to join the band of weirdos in what is termed the "Kingdom of Balwyniti". Such membership, whilst not exclusive nor particularly restricted, is however conditional upon the applicant complying at alltimes with the adjurations set out on the big sign at the front of the Kingdom, especially the bit about the trees (oh, and being weird, which we are sure this applicant shall have no trouble complying with ).

So it is that on this, the Eleventh day of January, 2001AD, or 2000000000000000001AC, that the being known as Ottox is hereby made aware that he has been duly pre-accepted into the Kingdom in whatsoever role as he sees fit, pending approval by the King. This invitation is not transferrable, nor may it be redeemed for cash, holidays, scuba-diving equipment nor halibut. If the aforementioned Ottox does not in a timely fashion respond to this invitation, he will duly be served another....and another....and another, until he bloody well accepts or stops hanging around the Kingdom anyway.

Affixed herunder with the signature of the King of Balwyniti,

I need to learn more than The Basics to read this...

roflol

* thinks: I would surely LOVE to have a halibut... *

I didn't say you *couldn't* have one, you just can't exchange the invitation for one...

Give me one then...

Ottox, how come you get to be so lucky ?

Lucky?
To get this invitation, you mean?
Well, the king is just , I think...

(And I'm sure the fact that I'm celebrating his birthday all over h2g2 doesn't have anything to say!)

ahh...

It's more likely that it's because I manipulated him to invade my space...

makes sense

I think I set a dangerous precedent with giving SMoB a personal invitation...you don't need an invite to join...;-D

Miccle eadignes ful cyning. Motan eower cyneric gægnian

I think I've heard that before... still don't understand it though.
And I never asked for an invitation... or did I?

Nor do I...

I don't know anymore...well, come on, are you going to join or what?

It was a birthday greeting for the king

but a king of your immense age shurly recognises plain english even if it is 1000 years old ?

Why, thank you...

Translation for Ottox:

Many blessings foul King. May your Kingdom rejoice.

Hey, so it is! I actually scarcely looked at it, or I'd've got out my Olde English book...