h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I really should have thought of this months and months ago but, you know.

We get an enormous amount of junk mail here, usually on Wednesday or Thursday, and most people throw theirs into a rubbish bin right by the mailboxes. Some of it is newsprint, some is glossy, some of it's in envelopes.

Years (decades) ago I remember seeing the first incarnation of those paper brick makers on Tomorrow's World (probably) and thinking what a wonderfully clever idea it was (and also that I wish I'd thought of the idea and patented it ). Those things where you soak old newspapers in water for a day or two and then use this machine to squeeze out most of the water and turn the paper into a solid brick that you can burn in a fireplace, after drying it out.

Well, now I've got a fireplace and it's only just occurred to me that all that paper people are throwing away for recycling is free heat! I really should have made the connection because it's not the first time I've had a fireplace (although it's been a while), and I've been using it to burn anything with my name and address on it since I moved in last February (got to be careful about identity theft these days). So I could have got myself one of these machines several months ago and been stockpiling paper bricks all summer. It's not like I don't have plenty of time on my hands right now, and the hot Texas sun would dry them out in no time flat.

To be honest, I think I did make the connection before, just not a strong enough connection to spur me into action

So, should I get one now? They're around $25 on Amazon, which is less than half my monthly electricity bill and would therefore pay for itself in one winter. Or should I try to figure out a way of rolling the paper up without the aid of one of those alternative newspaper-for-burning-in-the-fireplace thingies which rolls dry newspaper pages into logs without having to soak them first (a plus), but appear to have a pretty poor rating for quality and ease of use (a minus)? Because even with this bigger apartment, soaking loads of paper is going to be problematic, as is finding somewhere to squeeze the water out afterwards.

Without taking it downstairs and giving the game away to all my neighbours by doing it outside

All you need is a bucket, a rubber mallet and a dowel... and time and effort.

http://www.instructables.com/id/Intro_1/?ALLSTEPS

Interesting idea, but I don't think my downstairs neighbours (or the ones on either side probably) would be very happy with me hammering away at those on my balcony, and I'm not sure the apartment managers would be too keen either.

It's a good method if you already have the mallet and the space to do it, but I think my circumstances (apartment living) might cramp its style.

Yeah, but it sure makes that $25 brick maker more attractive, don't it?

Sure does

On a related note, I saw a reference to Dave Angel: Eco Warrior (The Fast Show) earlier today, and as I was walking over to the mailboxes I suddenly realised I was walking like him (without the twirl at the end, obviously) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M662XNAmcM

Had to put a stop to that before someone saw me

And, naturally, this being the modern age, YouTube is stiff with videos showing you how to make your own

I have heard that they are more bother than they're worth. But at $25 even if you only keep going for one winter with them, you're winning. I suggest that you keep on making them through the summer to spread the work out a bit.

Yeah, I should have started this months ago. I don't know if I'll be renewing the lease on this apartment when it comes up next June or July, but if I do I'll make a start much earlier.

In the meantime though, one of the videos I found is for a very simple press that you can make for a few bucks and creates very small bricks - well, pellets almost. They ought to dry out fairly quickly because of their small size, but they'll also burn quickly too. It might be interesting to give it a go though because it's a method that would be conducive to doing in a small apartment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIi8BYcDw10

I've heard they burn very badly - ie, hardly at all. But I can't vouch for it myself.

You'll go mad tearing the paper up into bits small enough.

Or I could do what I saw in one video - weld an old circular saw blade to a rod and put that in a drill, then churn up the paper and water to the required consistency. Sorted.

Suppose a flower press would do the same thing, squeezing out water in the shower/bath