h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Words I thought I'd never hear myself say:

Come on Swansea!!!
http://i.imgur.com/9zt6EWB.jpg

Well they did

and on another front
Lifted from the Grauniad

More from John at Kenilworth Road...

The party at Kenilworth has been put on hold – AFC have just taken the lead in retro Wimbledon fashion - this was a goal straight out of the Dave Bassett/Bobby Gould era. Goalkeeper James Shea launched the ball forward, Adebayo Akinfenwa flicked on, and Matt Tubbs crashed home. Good old route one.

And for once they have held onto a half time lead to the end.

Methinks the Perry doth protest too much.

Thank Bob for that button on my keyboard with the little Mute symbol on it that makes it so easy to turn of the sound whenever I hear that awful man spouting his arrogance and bile. And anything else that would be likely to make me throw something across the room if I heard it.

On the way back from the shops just now, I walked past someone, slightly turned away from me, watering a flowerbed with a hosepipe held at the hip. It made me titter. That old Benny Hill gag never gets old

"When you wake up, you have this gift of a blank brain. You could fill it with anything. But for most of us, we have this kind of panic. Instead of wondering what should I do, we wonder what did I miss. Its [sic] almost like our unconsciousness is a kind of failure and we can’t believe we’ve been offline for eight hours"
http://qz.com/252456/what-it-feels-like-to-be-the-last-generation-to-remember-life-before-the-internet/

I'm so glad I don't have that feeling in the morning, or while I've been in a cinema, or while I've been anywhere and anywhen that prevents me from access teh webz.

Having taken an odd Tuesday off from work for the A/C project, my schedule is a bit askew. Early this morning, during one of the handful of times I normally wake up briefly each night, I looked at my clock and thought to myself, "Oh, yeah, I've got class this morning... What!?... I haven't had classes in 24 years! I've got the JOB in the mornin'"


Speaking of random thoughts, these are excellent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OK34L4-qaDQ

Going back to this - "we’ve been offline for eight hours".

Eight hours. Yeah right. I don't think there are many of us reading this who can claim to get eight hours sleep.

Also, "Instead of wondering what should I do, we wonder what did I miss that I could have been outraged and splenetic about, jumped to conclusions and made judgements about based on no evidence other than what someone said on Twitter?"

When I've got half a dozen different dishes of curry laid out in front of me, plus rice and naan bread and chutney; when I'm ploughing through a steak and kidney pudding or jam roly poly and custard; when I'm tucking into eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, black pudding, bubble and a fried slice; when the waitress brings me a mixed grill on a plate the size of a small coffee table; when I go back to the kitchen for a bit more turkey and stuffing and bread sauce and another roast spud or two; when I find that I've ordered a chicken fried steak that's bigger than my face; the one thought that's going through my mind is...

I'll be glad when I've had enough.

The thought going through my mind in those circumstances is...

Is there enough space left in the waist line of these trousers.

The Queen probably reads knitting patterns in a very different way to the rest of us.

"Knit one, purl one... Philip, how is one meant to do that to oneself?"

If a bricklayer lays a brick, what hatches?

(Rhetorical question, naturally).

"Knit one, purl one... Philip, how is one meant to do that to oneself?"

"Ehhh ehh-rr, I'm not quite sure Dear, but I usually ask 2legs. He usually knows these things..."

2legs. The cause of, and answer to, all life's problems

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what are fog horns made from?

F S

Leghorns?

Self-raising flour should be banned. Any recipe that needs a raising agent other than yeast should specify plain flour and appropriate amounts of bicarb, and/or baking powder, and/or cream of tartar.

It doesn't exist here in Germany, and the baking powder seems to consist entirely of bicarb. You can get cream of tartar-based baking powder, but all baking powder is only available in little sachets from which it is very difficult to measure out teaspoons.

There is a great variety of flours available, though.