h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I remember too that it was one of those beautiful summer evenings in London that make you think 'If it ain't like this in heaven I'm not going'

No, it was in some ordinary place nowhere near the BBC. But they were all there. And we heard it on the radio some time later, so it was a proper recording...

Willie Rushton would have still been there, presumably

I can't get enough of this cake, er... pudding, er... whatever it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xL06frx38bU

For your enjoyment:

Ingredients
300g unsalted butter, softened
250g caster sugar
4 medium eggs
150g wholemeal self raising flour
150g ground almonds
A good pinch of cinnamon (or allspice, or ground mixed spice, or any spice you fancy, or no spice)

For the caramelised pears:
3-4 pears (reasonably firm, but not rock hard)
35g unsalted butter
1½ tbsp granulated sugar

Method
1. Preheat the oven to 325°F/160°C/gas mark 3. Grease a 9" springform cake tin and line the base with baking parchment.

2. Peel, core and quarter the pears.

3. Melt the 35g butter in a frying pan big enough to take all the pear pieces, over a medium high heat. When it's bubbling, add the sugar and stir gently until it has dissolved into the butter. Add the pears and cook gently, turning once or twice, until they have softened and are starting to colour - 5-10 minutes. Set aside to cool.

4. In a mixing bowl, cream the butter and caster sugar until pale and fluffy. Beat in one egg at a time, adding a spoonful of the flour with each to stop the mix curdling.

5. Combine the remaining flour, the ground almonds and the cinnamon, and fold into the mixture. Scrape into the prepared tin. Arrange the pears on top and pour on any buttery juices left in the pan.

6. Bake for about 40-50 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean.

7. Stand the cake in its tin on a wire rack to cool for a few minutes, then release the tin. Serve the cake warm with clotted cream - or cold.

In case you were wondering...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhOeG-uTJxw

Two things - number seven is my favourite, and I'd really, really, *really* like to meet the woman in number two

Ah, I'd forgotten how disturbing some of the later apple and lemon ones were

It's amazing what you find on old hard drives

It's amazing what you find on old drives #2

Where do pets come from?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now, we do not see you any more. We are lonesome and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem, because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved...But perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were
reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

It's amazing what you find on old hard drives #3 Remember this old one?

> > DEAR ALL,
> >
> > Yes, I know this looks like the usual kind of chain letter, but
> apparently
> > BIll Gates is giving away mega bucks to people who forward this, and
> then
> > he tracks everyone who recieves it and passes it on, with Microsoft
> paying
> > each person who passes it on a lump sum. NOW, I know this sounds dodgy,
> but
> > my contact at the National Theatre says it was on the news, is real, and
> > even if you hate Bill gates, wouldn't touch his dirty dollars with a
> barge
> > pole, it's quite entertaining just to see who's already passed it on,
> and
> > the messages make for a good read. If you want to read the full
> financial;
> > breakdown of how each message is 'paid for' it's all at the end of the
> e
> > mail in detail. good luck ! May you buy yourself a nice garden shed at
> the
> > very least with your winnings.

love the Dog and Cat story

Thanks

F S

I had a little computer trouble this morning and have spent the best part of the day re-entering about 700 files into a programme

Which completely took my mind off the fact that I ate the last of my steak and kidney yesterday and have to cook something for dinner today, requiring me to take something out of the freezer about eight hours ago. Which I haven't done. And it's gone 4pm.

So it looks like meat, three veg, spuds and gravy, hold the meat, for dinner tonight.

By gum, I'd do owt for a pork pie right now.

"You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job at one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm."
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-19796224

Or be wary if you are a man who keeps a pig farm, I guess.

Back in the '80s my father and I had a rather dark joke. It started with a friend his, a former Little League umpire we knew, a really nice fellow. He often offered to get things for my dad really cheap or for free. I remember an offer for some sort of batteries that were hard to find. At least a year went by and he never actually delivered on them. Then, when my dad was wanting to get an ATV he said he knew a fellow with land down in South Texas that had one for sell really cheap, he'd bring back for us the next time he saw him. Again, at least a year went by with no sign of the ATV. Then one day when my dad asked about it he told us the guy who had it was eaten by feral hogs (or maybe javelinas) on his property. It was a similar story. He hadn't been seen for days until some of his clothing was found out in a open field on his property.

To this day if someone offers us something and we never see it we might say it was eaten by hogs.

"I can't tell you what's going to happen during the next 25 years. Will there be bases on the moon? Can we find out once and for all whether the quasars really are immensely remote? And is there the slightest chance of our proving the existence of life on another world? I don't know. But one thing I can promise you. If I'm still alive in 25 years time, in 2007, and if I'm still broadcasting, I'll still find plenty to say. Goodnight"

You were, Patrick, and you were, and you did

Thank Bob that he wasn't eaten by hogs

F S

Bloody hell. You Really Got Me by The Kinks is 50 years old.

Bloody hell.

Really? I didn't know it was older than I am. I think of The Kinks as a '70s band. And that song definitely doesn't have a '60s sound.

Released in 1964, according to Terry Gross, who'll be talking to Ray Davies on Fresh Air tonight.