h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So...?

*polishes a teacup*

*Runs in* AHA!!! Oh, wait... nothing happened... *looks slightly disappointed* No medical emergencies at all?

Nope. I had a papercut, but that was on my lunch break.

I have a severe headache that id like some help with?

*opens the emergency Large Mallet Cupboard*

I mean... um... *shifty glance*

*opens another cupboard and pours some rose-coloured solution into a small cup*

Drink this

Ooh PPPPPPIIIINNNNNNNNKK!

Feel better?

*Hits Horatio on the head with the mallet while she's distracted* Got her! Well done, Joe.

Ooh, that was mean...

But fun

*puts a waste-paper bin over the half-open door*

*Throws tacks out onto road, watches with glee as BL drives his car over them* MAR-VELL-OUS!!!

*sends a bottle of the rose-coloured solution to Steph's office*

PINK!

Here, where do you keep getting the pink stuff from? All the medicine in this facility is a uniform gluey orange with green swirls. The only pink stuff is Pepto-Bismol(tm), and that's for indigestion. It tastes like chalk.

Oh, I had some of this left over from my original office at the Assassins.

Chhhhhaaaaaaaalllllllkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm... I'm in the assasins as well. I started wondering, after I accidentally opened one of your letters and it contained a copy of "throwing knives monthly". Its my favourite magazine as well. Do you have the lifetime subscription too?

Not mine. Possibly mis-addressed to Geddon, the other medic

Possibly. I'll ask him at the next madical briefing, which will be held... *checks schedule*... whenever I feel like it.