Why, hello there, fellow traveller...

At Paddington stationYou've come just in time, as the last train will be leaving soon. What do you mean you've not purchased a ticket yet?
Oh... I see. How forgetful of you. Well, fortunately I've a first class compartment reserved, and you can share with me provided you keep me entertained with some interesting tales, which I think you can manage.
But now do fetch the tickets from the office over there while I get our luggage over to the right car. Hm? Oh, of course! They'll be under the name of...

Le Sieur Brandstatter-Swiatecki-Pietrzyk de Nowina-Jastrzebiec-Brandstatter du Phénix

... also called Tom.

•••••

Ah, you've got them. Splendid. Now shall we board? ... What do you mean what train? The one right here... in front of us... Yes, it absolutely and unquestionably is a train... No, it is certainly not a damned horse! *sigh* Look here, are you new to this planet by any chance? Ah, well then, allow me to explain...

•••••

Human beings are incredibly irrational.

Be it the large things like how our minds (when 'healthy') are responsible for producing a recursive cycle of reinforcement for our established beliefs, or the smaller ones like our arbitrarily assigning a higher value to something simply as a consequence of having touched and held it, we are very ill equipped to function in much of the world we've created for ourselves.

And that's just the thing. Human beings are illogically stupid in myriad ways, and yet we ignore this and try to push on to create a rational world that requires rational decisions.

It's rather like a horse — no, not like this one here; I told you, poor thing, that's a train. As I was saying, it's like a horse ignoring with every bit of energy that he can muster the fact that he is, well, a horse.
This horse then proceeds to construct a massive system of railways and bridges and stations.
(The horse, you see, in spite of initial appearances of idiocy, somehow manages to consistently pull off savant-like ingenuity in the long run when it comes to things like that.)

The horse is then surprised to find that shoving coal up his rear end and having it heat a bunch of water does not in fact cause his pistons to move, making his wheels glide swiftly along the train tracks.

Well, that, or the horse desperately ignores this less than satisfactory result and continues chuffing along Bob only knows how.
And that, in a rather equine metaphor, is us. We create so many absurd expectations for ourselves and so many intellectual and emotional paradoxes, and then we are either shocked by or oblivious to how warped and unworkable our whole reality is becoming.

And that... IS SO INCREDIBLY AND UNENDINGLY FASCINATING!

*ahem* Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. So you see? Once you embrace the irrationality of this thing before us being a train, you will find both that your mind intellectually compensates for this perceived irrationality in a calming way, and that the upcoming journey will go a great deal more smoothly for both of us.

At any rate, here's to our studying — yes, of course our; I just saved you not only from not having a ticket but from failing to even get on the train simply because it neighs a bit too much for your foreign taste. The least you can do is come on a voyage of discovery with me.
As I was saying, here's to our studying and I dare say furthering all of those psycho-socio-physical contortions. The only certain thing is that it will all be most interesting.
'This is an express going from Human Condition to Utter Paradox. All aboard'. *Chuga-chuga, chuga-chuga, chuga-chuga NEIGH NEIGH!*

Now then, shall we go get something to eat?
Lovely! The restaurant car is just down that way on the other side of the saddle. Do hold onto the reigns as you go.

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Sieur du Phenix

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