h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Greetings good sir,

It has come to my attention that you are planning on adopting the egg Marcus. I feel it is my duty to tell you a little about how special Marcus is.
Undoubtably you have heard of the "attack" little Marcus "suffered" earlier in his childhood, and how he remembers little of the incident. The reason he remember nothing, is because we do not want him to have any bad dreams. Nightmares if you like. We love Marcus and do not want to hurt him in any way. Marcus is, in many ways, one of our own. One of our children, if you like.

This is not in any way meant as a threat, or an attempt at making you withdraw your, uhm, claim to him. No, rather I want to make certain you know the responsebility attached to adopting such a wonderfull egg as Marcus is. The special attention he needs.

Marcus suffers from a rare blood-disease. He is unable to carry regular nutrients in his bloodstream. This might sound horribly dangerous, but fear not, I suffer from the same disease, and I'm still...alive. This disease is actually more a kind of genetic variation, a mutation perhaps, and it is coupled with some inate talents. These talents set little Marcus apart from other eggs. It is important that you let these talents develop. Marcus must not feel that he is any different from the other eggs, just because he eats.... Well, let's just say, because his metabolism is slightly altered. Let Marcus play freely. If he wants to watch TV all day, let him. If he wants to play with My Little Pony, let him. If he wants to go out during the night, please let the childe out.

On the other hand, too much freedom might damage the childes psyche. I balance must be found. This is where I come in. Having grown up with the same symptoms as Marcus, I know what he is going through. I know what he needs. Let me help in raising him.

Let me be his nanny.

I urge you to consider this. It is of utmost importance for the welfare for both you and Marcus.

Best wishes
JAR