Nothing Really
<HEAD>
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function gene(form) {
day = new Date()
hr = day.getSeconds()
if (hr == ("0"))
tag=("Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.")
if (hr == ("1"))
tag=("Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?")
if (hr == ("2"))
tag=("Give me ambiguity or give me something else.")
if (hr == ("3"))
tag=("I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!")
if (hr == ("4"))
tag=("We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.")
if (hr == ("5"))
tag=("Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.")
if (hr == ("6"))
tag=("Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!")
if (hr == ("7"))
tag=("Did anyone see my lost carrier?")
if (hr == ("8"))
tag=("Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.")
if (hr == ("9"))
tag=("I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!")
if (hr == ("10"))
tag=("He who laughs last thinks slowest!")
if (hr == ("11"))
tag=("Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.")
if (hr == ("12"))
tag=("Save the whales, collect the whole set")
if (hr == ("13"))
tag=("A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.")
if (hr == ("14"))
tag=("Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.")
if (hr == ("15"))
tag=("There's too much blood in my caffeine system.")
if (hr == ("16"))
tag=("Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.")
if (hr == ("17"))
tag=("Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.")
if (hr == ("18"))
tag=("Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.")
if (hr == ("19"))
tag=("I wont rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.")
if (hr == ("20"))
tag=("Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.")
if (hr == ("21"))
tag=("Double your drive space - delete Windows!")
if (hr == ("22"))
tag=("What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?")
if (hr == ("23"))
tag=("If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.")
if (hr == ("24"))
tag=("Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.")
if (hr == ("25"))
tag=("Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.")
if (hr == ("25"))
tag=("Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.")
if (hr == ("26"))
tag=("Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.")
if (hr == ("27"))
tag=("I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.")
if (hr == ("28"))
tag=("Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.")
if (hr == ("29"))
tag=("I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.")
if (hr == ("30"))
tag=("A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.")
if (hr == ("31"))
tag=("Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.")
if (hr == ("32"))
tag=("The gene pool could use a little chlorine.")
if (hr == ("33"))
tag=("When there's a will, I want to be in it.")
if (hr == ("34"))
tag=("Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?")
if (hr == ("35"))
tag=("Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.")
if (hr == ("36"))
tag=("I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.")
if (hr == ("37"))
tag=("We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?")
if (hr == ("38"))
tag=("All generalizations are false, including this one.")
if (hr == ("39"))
tag=("Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.")
if (hr == ("40"))
tag=("C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.")
if (hr == ("41"))
tag=("Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.")
if (hr == ("42"))
tag=("Clap on! , Clap off! clap@#&$NO CARRIER ")
if (hr == ("43"))
tag=("640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates 81")
if (hr == ("44"))
tag=("90% of all statistics are made up")
if (hr == ("45"))
tag=("A man needs a good memory after he has lied.")
if (hr == ("46"))
tag=("A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over.")
if (hr == ("47"))
tag=("A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.")
if (hr == ("48"))
tag=("Apple copyright 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve")
if (hr == ("49"))
tag=("Apple Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.")
if (hr == ("50"))
tag=("Bad knee, gotta run - Pat Buchanan to his draft board")
if (hr == ("51"))
tag=("Beam me aboard, Scotty..... Sure. Will a 2x10 do?")
if (hr == ("52"))
tag=("Beulah, peel me a grape.")
if (hr == ("53"))
tag=("Bother, said Pooh as the brakes went out!")
if (hr == ("54"))
tag=("Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg.")
if (hr == ("55"))
tag=("C++ should have been called B")
if (hr == ("56"))
tag=("COINCIDENCE happens.")
if (hr == ("57"))
tag=("Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!")
if (hr == ("58"))
tag=("Careful. We don't want to learn from this. -- Calvin")
if (hr == ("59"))
tag=("Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.")
form.tagline.value=(tag)
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<BODY>
This is my page. There's not much of anything on it just yet but I'm alway's finding something new to put here. I might as well tell you that I am one of those 'Yanks'. As it is said in the American bashing forums.<P>
<CENTER>Lastly --- <A HREF="dontpanic"><FONT SIZE="7" FACE="Freehand575 BT">DON'T PANIC</FONT></A><P>
Here are the temperatures for where the summer and winter Olympic Games are going to be held.
<TABLE>
<TR>
<TD><a href="http://www.wunderground.com/global/stations/16716.html" >http://www.wunderground.com/global/stations/16716.html">
<img src="http://banners.wunderground.com/banner/gizmotempbig/global/stations/16716.gif" >http://banners.wunderground.com/banner/gizmotempbig/global/stations/16716.gif" height=40 width=330></a>
</TD>
<TD><a href="http://www.wunderground.com/US/UT/Salt_Lake_City.html" >http://www.wunderground.com/US/UT/Salt_Lake_City.html">
<img src="http://banners.wunderground.com/banner/gizmotimetempbig/US/UT/Salt_Lake_City.gif" >http://banners.wunderground.com/banner/gizmotimetempbig/US/UT/Salt_Lake_City.gif"
alt="Click for Salt Lake City, Utah Forecast" height=40 width=330></a>
</TD>
</TR>
</TABLE>
While you're here you can play with the silly quote button and read some humorous (sometimes) quotations.<BR/>
<CENTER>
<FORM>
<TABLE width=70%>
<TR>
<TD><b><kbd>Click on the quotation generator button</KBD></b></TD>
<TD><input type="button" value="QUOTATION GENERATOR" onclick="gene(this.form)"></TD>
</TR>
</TABLE>
<input type=text NAME="tagline" size="70">
</FORM>
</CENTER>
<p>
<center>
<font face="arial, helvetica" size="-2">Free JavaScripts provided<BR/>by <a href="http://javascriptsource.com" >http://javascriptsource.com">The JavaScript Source</a></font>
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Kimsanee (formerly S10)
Researcher U142559
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