h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

LIE DOWN OR LAY DOWN

Posted Aug 11, 2000

This is the thing that bugs me. If your going to take a nap do you lie down or lay down? Lie yourself down. Lay someone else down. ie. I am going to lie the baby down or lay the baby down. I think it is lay the baby is this correct? Fix it so I will never forget which is which.
Hoppa

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Latest reply: Aug 11, 2000

TV Juicer Man

Posted Jul 5, 2000

We thought it would be groovy
But real life ain't the movies
- Our commune didn't quite communicate

Eating brown rice in a tee-pee
didn't heal my spirit deeply
so in'69 I plotted my escape

It took 3 months of trying
to get off of that island:
on a moonlight skinny-dip, I just swam on...

Once I'd healed the scratches
and some complicated rashes
I came up with a word: tri-athelon

I told my tale forthrightly
to Gatorade & Nike
then let the lawyers do what lawyers do...

We modified my background
and upon the very first sound
from anyone who knew my past, we'd sue.

And so, by 1999,
my reputation clear and fine
Those burnt-out hippies made a man of me

At 3 AM they curse their luck
'Coz now I've made 3 million bucks
Flogging goddamn juicers on TV.

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Latest reply: Jul 5, 2000

Posted Jul 5, 2000

.
There exists a group of interesting little conundrums I think we all have in one form or another.
One, in our area, is trying to find some balance between ecology and economics; between parks and protected areas and what are called "tree farm licenses" or "managed forests" on Crown land.
Are we harvesting a renewable resource or strip mining the forests and destroying biodiversity?
Each side of the debate can present equally credible reams of statistics supporting entirely opposite positions.
On one hand you have "X-percent" of forests logged and "X-million" trees planted to replace it; on the other you have the outrageously arrogant proposition that we, as tenants, can "manage" a forest.

In a similar way, I want to have my patch, but I somehow don't necessarily want everyone else to have theirs, right?
For example, there is a particularly beautiful spot I love. It's a mountain-top from which one can see both the Selkirk and Purcell mountain ranges, with Kootenay lake in the valley between. This time of year the alpine meadows are flourishing with all colours of wildflowers (which onlylasts about 3-weeks at altitude) .

If ever there was a place to constuct a church out of nothing but nail-holes, this is it.

You want to go, don't you?
If I can get there,so can everyone else.
Which is the precisely the problem, no? If everyone went, it would cease to exist.
So.
Castlegar, the town we live near, has a sawmill and pulp mill as it's sole economic engine. No one wants to decimate the forests, yet no one wants to be unemployed, whether they are in forestry, the service industries, retail or Freelance Hitchhiker Guiding.
On any given day in any given pub, it's non-stop platitude-spouting and attitude-pouting without accomplishing much more in an afternoon than Parliament does in a year.
Anyone who can elucidate a Standard Unification Theory without resorting to the Mystical or Mathematics (even more mystical) would
doubtless be conferred HYEDT* status at minimum, if not Grand Poo-bah Lord King Wizard-in-charge-of-things status;( which, while possible, would take years to get through the Senate as most of them refer to time in chambers as 'nap-time').

*HYEDT: pronounced 'huh-yet';
"How'd You Ever Do That?" something like a knighthood, I suppose, excepting the proviso that you
have demonstrably done something worthwhile at least once.

PLT, Mick



  

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ROCKS

Posted Jul 5, 2000

Rocks are amazing! They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, textures. Some are pebbles,stones, boulders. I think I am using a general term when I say rocks. One could go on and on. So Let's.............! You see in my life rocks effect me every day. They give me inspiration and back ache. They give me a sense of accomplishment, especially when I get digging with my trusty shovel. Strategically I place each rock in in a special spot then I analyze it and then rip it out and start over. The big boulders usually take two to move,spin, flip and roll into the desired position. Rocks are heavy but worth it. When we spend time on the beach, and in the forest, one of us usually finds a heart shape rock each time we go. Rocks go hand in hand with our garden. I bet with every shovel full of dirt on our property you can get at least one rock. Sometimes you score big time and discover a large size boulder. Just the size for plunking your bottom down after a big day. Someone once said if you sit on a cold rock or cold cement you can get hemmoroids, so let your bottom beware. Rock on!!!!

Hoppa

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Latest reply: Jul 5, 2000