h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*whoofs V with a pillow* We're back on!

We're on? I think i forgot my speach!

*whollops beetle with a pillow*

HERE'S YOUR SPEECH!!

And I thought this would be a serious discussion with a title like that

*poofs beetle in the face with a giant powdery powder puff*

...see, Krissy? I TOLD you I'd do it when you least expected it, and that it would be POWDERY. I TOLD you.

So we are back?? good.
*grins, picks up a light feathery pillow and promptely whoomps ant on the head*
hehe

*enters, stage left, with 1500 pound cherry cheesecake*

*falls into fits of coughing*

Could have been worse - you could have fallen into a 1500 pound cherry cheesecake.

*trips*

*falls into 1500 pound cherry cheesecake*

See.

*Gets up from hitting ant, walks center stage*

anybody up there?? Hey! could i get a spotlight down here????

*sighs her deep, loud, martyred sigh*

*puts her book down*

*gets up*

*trudges back to the ladder*

*drags herself up to the catwalk*

*mutters things about Shakespeare and specifically marking 'no stagehand' on her audition sheet*

*switches on the light*

THANK YOU!!!!
*mutters to self*
I'm on stage. I'm on the freakin stage. HEY Ant!! come here!! Take over standin in this spotlight will ya??
*walks over to the ladder. Trudges up it, finds the light booth*
YES!!
*starts turning on all the channels*

*slaps formely's hands*

Hey, get outta there! Look, if I scribble "death before backstage" in the margins, and they put me on the zarking catwalk, the LAST thing I need is grubby little TALENT smearing up the panels.

Down with you, before I turn on my walkie-talkie here and alert the stage manager!

GO!

*grumbles*

Is blinded by the light :-8

*shouts down* Sorry! SOMEONE let unauthorised personNEL up here...

*switches off the house lights, the footlights and the mirror ball*

*falls through an open trap door*

*lands on a giant spring*

*is catapulted across the air landing next to KM*

*gives KM a mighty big hug*

*is fasinated by the giant spring, trudges the cheesecake over to the trap door and drops it into the hole sending a giant 1500 pound cheesecake up to the lighting booth*

Hmm.

*wonders if he shuold have taken bubster out of the cheese cake first*

*flies through the air with the greatest of cheese* *cakes*

*swamps Ant and KM with sweet cherries and hugs them on the catwalk, on the catwalk*

*slips on something more comfortable and falls - splat! - to the stage again*

*groans*

*just plain groans*

Hey. It's cream cheese.