h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well your obviously stupid as well as not very cute then. Silly superhero.

Allow me to donate a very modest as a gift. hehe.

Actually, when I say "not very cute" I really mean damn ugly. Not very fitting for a dashing superhero are you? Shame. I, however, fulfill my role as an evil English badguy with world domination my main aim perfectly. My suavity and sophistication make me your stereotypical entrepreneurial and eccentric badguy with immense wealth and high hopes. No mere superhero can stand in my metaphorical way. Pah!

...Shame I can't find a looser Spandex suit though.

[sea] *grins* i think the suit fits perfectly, brian...

[evillene] oh, get a room!!!!!

This, Brian, as you know him is hardly suave. Spandex? Ugh. And an entrepreneur, you say. Well, as I cannot think up a really classic putdown at the moment, I'lll just ask you to use a dictionry. And give us back Somaliland!!!

Being a badguy it is nothing short of a necessity to wear a Spandex suit. As for your other point, I have you know I'm none other than the James Bond of STUMPED and know exactly what entrepreneur means (and how to spell it) thank you very much. Therefore, in view of this knowledge, I think this word is very fitting for Brian Damage.

Ah. My afro...well...I'm afraid I shaved that off. It was just too cumbersome and heavy and it was actually more of a bouffon, but it was lopped off nevertheless. As for the African nations (to which I persume you are referring)...you'll have to ask the hairdresser.

Hmm. Indeed. But! You are the Timothy Dalton of James Bonds. Wooden, monosylabic and getting-off-with-ugly-women. Touche!

Au contraire Mr. Heavy. I am, in fact, more of a Roger Moore: I am smooth, witty, debonair, cultured, athletic, good at driving and, not to mention, good with the ladies. (Although the 70s was a cool decade, I do choose, however, not to share his fashion sense.)

btw I think sea will have something to say about your last comment.

Wit. Something that happens to other people.

Never mind Heavy. Perhaps one day will be blessed with some wit. However, it will never compare to mine. hehehe

What I meant to say was that YOU would be blessed with some wit one day: as you seem to be lacking in that department ... amongst others.
It was in fact a typo the first time.

Ah. Such drole banter.

what does 'drole' mean when its at home? My banter is not even droll, let alone what you think it is with this word you've made up on the spot.

*sea yawns, then kicks heavy in the butt*

[sea] don't call me ugly... it's not nice. and very untrue.

Untrue huh? Brian. Shall we share a moment of aroused speculation? Mmmmmmmmmm....

MMmmmmmmm.....

Just how untrue was my statement?

*sea, startled by the thought of their "aroused speculation", struggles for comment*

[sea] very!

How dare you. Pokes Heavy in the eyes and then, whilst trying to contain himself as Heavy writhes around in agony, Brian proceeds to punch Heavy in the stomach repeatedly. As Heavy stands dazed and unsteady after this hammering , Brian prods him in the forehead and watches him fall over - cheesy (yet strangely cool) 70s Ninja film stylee.

Feeling energetic, Brain builds UH a grave and then, in a moment of triumph, dances on it ... in stiletto heals. Hehe.

That'll teach Mr. So-Called 'People's Champion'. Pah!

Oh ... and your statement incedentally was most untrue. And unfair.

[sea] my... er... villain?

*gives brian a thank you kiss*

USE YOUR EYES WOMAN. HE'S WEARING A BIG READ LYCrA TABARD! YFRONTS ON THE OUTSIDE! BIG GOLD LAME CAPE. AFRO! THIS MAN IS UGLY! UGLY UGLY UGLY!

Ahem.