Journal Entries
La La La....
Posted Jun 23, 2000
I'm bored again.
Hmm...
Well, Corbin is here.
Last night wasn't the greatest.
There was the most distant feeling between us
and we both felt it.
It was wierd.
I didn't like it at all.
He just kept giving me this negative attitude.
After all the s**t i did for him yesterday.
I picked him up at the airport,
I made him dinner...
We went and got a movie that we didn't get to watch,
Because he got in a fight with Tyler over ICQ
which made me feel terrible...
he was bieng so mean to him.
So I got sick of waiting for Corbin to come watch the movie...
i turned off all the lights upstairs and headed off to bed without him.
I cried and cried until an hour later when he finally came downstairs.
He asked what was wrong
All i could say was "you're so different now".
I told him he's too condescending
and I told him it's to the point where I can't enjoy a normal conversation with him.
And i can't.
I can't tell him how my day went
because he will always be like "why did you do that?" or "that's so stupid"
and make me feel like s**t.
I know he catches himself doing it sometimes and tries to make up for it,
but that's not enough.
Sometimes when you disagree with a situation or with someone
you just need to keep it to yourself....
you know...
for the sake of bieng polite.
Sometimes I just need to vent things to him
you know, just a shoulder to lean on and tell him my problems.
But i can't do that anymore.
It's like everytime i tell him anything
He always makes what i say sound stupid.
We talked about it...
and i think he realizes his problem.
If he doesn't stop is soon though...
I won't be able to handle this anymore.
I was on the brink of telling him "it's over" last night...
I know i don't want it to end...
but if i'm not happy,
there's no point on making it last.
I am more confident now that this is just a phase...
Am I making excuses for myself?
s**t...
i think i am.
i need to think about this.
s**t.
i am making excuses for him and i shouldn't be.
He acts like curtis more and more every time i talk to him or see him.
NOTICE HOW CURTIS DOESN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND??!!!
BECAUSE HE"S A F*****G LOSER WHO DOESN"T CARE ABOUT
ANYBODY BUT HIMSELF.
HE IS THE MOST DISRESPECTFUL, CONDESCENDING, MANIPULATIVE
PERSON I HAVE EVER MET.
Corbin has me for a reason.
Because I know corbin is a sweet, honest, respectful and caring person.
I started something with him for a reason...
and i've stayed committed to him for a reason.
But he's moving further and further away from what he was...
and more and more towards the type of guy i can't bare.
I don't corbin to end up alone,
and i don't want to end up alone either.
i need time to think.
~christy~
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Latest reply: Jun 23, 2000
Bored...
Posted Jun 21, 2000
Bored... Bored... Bored....
I'm at work right now...
i'm so bored.
There's nuthin to do.
I'm watching the clock litterally move backwards,
that's how slow my day is going.
I'm going to Whistler at around 6 tonight.
Me and my mom are driving up together,
then i'm taking her car back with me
tomorrow morning.
Then i got to work for a few hours,
then I finally get to see my baby.
I pick up corbin at the airport at 5:30!
I'm so happy.
I miss him so much.
There's also alot we need to talk about
so it will be nice to talk to him face to face
so it's easier to resolve problems.
I'm so excited.
I'm having a party on friday night
so he can get to know my friends better...
and so i can see my friends too.
I never go out anymore...
only this weekend was my first weekend out in so long.
It's cuz i'm so pathetic
that i litterally sit at home all night and
wait for my boyfriend to phone.
hmm... maybe i should just say "f**k it"
sometimes and just go out anyways.
But then i get upset when i go to bed
and haven't talked to him yet.
You know, kindof and incomplete feeling.
Oh well, only another 2 months and we'll be together again.
I can't wait to see him...
I'll tell you all about the weekend on sunday night.
~christy~
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Latest reply: Jun 21, 2000
My glorious day....huh.. ya... whatever....
Posted Jun 20, 2000
Today, well,
it was a test...
It was a test to see how many sleepless hours
I could endure before I snap.
Well, this morning at 10am,
I SNAPPED.
I feel bad for doing so,
but at the time it just seemed
like it was the only way to express
how goddamn fed up and pissed off I am
with my job.
Yah, sure, i get paid well
and i dont have a strainuous job or anything...
but its so frustrating when people just
assume you know how to do something
and they dont bother explaining it to you...
they just plop the work down on your desk
when you arent there and then put a note on it
saying FINISH THIS BY FRIDAY...
uhh... okay...
but then you go and ask them to help you figure
out how to do the task and they ignore you??
yah, well, i snapped at Mark today for doing that.
I guess im just so sick of the whole BOSSES DAUGHTER
thing. It starts to get annoying after a while.
My dads business isnt going very well right now.
We just lost our biggest customer this week.
My dad is just about on the verge of a heart attack
due to the immense pressure of customers phoning
and bitching to him all day about how the idiots
that work out in the yard loaded their truck wrong
and that automatically costs dad 500 bucks when the
retards do that s**t.
Whats even worse, is the guys out in the lumberyard
smoke weed all day long and make stupid mistakes
because of it.
I know they do it.
It makes me so mad.
But i cant tell my dad about it,
because im friends with them at the same time.
and they will know who it was that ratted them out.
So tonight...
I broke down and told my dad everything.
I told him about the weed smoking on the job
and explained to him thats why they keep f*****g up
and pissing off customers.
So the next guy caught, is fired.
I feel guilty, but a little better.
The guys out in the yard dont understand that
when they f**k up, it not only costs my dads company money,
but that means its less money my dad brigns home to us
every week...
its not fair.
they just dont understand the reprocussions of what they do.
All they want is a paycheque to pay for their beer
on the weekend.
The rave went well on friday.
I was so happy i finally got to do E.
Corbin does it alot now though,
and
It scares me.
But its his body... what can i do?
But the rave was good,
the E sucked and so did the music.
Im going to 2 Nasty on july 1st so maybe
that one will make up for it.
Oh well.
Corbs comin on thursday.
I cant go to whistler like i wanted to on wednesday,
dad needs me at work.
And he said that if i want to take half of friday off to
spend with corb, i cant go to whistler.
Oh well...
geez...
the sacrifices i make for him 
Well, thats cool though cuz i will have the whole
house to myself for 4 days...
i dont mind really
but i did want to spend time with my family.
I feel so distant from them right now.
Its almost like they dont include me in anything
since they just assume that i wont want to come.
yah, sure i did that in like grade 9 to grade 12...
but ive been gone for 9 months and was depribed of
a family...
Well.. i guess thats what happens when you grow up.
***********************************
This is PMS christy signing off...
***********************************
Goodnite
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Latest reply: Jun 20, 2000
Removed
Posted Jun 16, 2000
This post has been removed.
Discuss this Journal entry [4]
Latest reply: Jun 16, 2000
Star-Cross'd Lovers
Posted Jun 13, 2000
STAR-CROSS'D LOVERS
Two star-cross'd lovers
Let go of eachother's
Arms for a little while.
It was going to be rough
but nothing enough
to break these lovers apart.
It was a nice little break
until hearts started to ache
and the star-cross'd lovers cried.
But Romeo was stong
and told Juliet to go on
Although it was going to be hard.
He came to stay
just for a mere day
to keep their love alive.
But day led to week
juliet wiped the tear from her cheek,
and watched her dear Romeo go.
Ever since that night
it's been an eternal fight
for Juliet to go on with her life.
Every night she sits alone
wanting him to come home
so they can be star-cross'd lovers again.
Tears stream down her pale cheek
Day by day, week by week
As her liveliness drifts away.
Her romeo's faded
Life is lonely and jaded
Only he can fix all that is wrong.
When fate is complete
Then together they meet
To become star-cross'd lovers again.
By:
~christy~
Discuss this Journal entry [4]
Latest reply: Jun 13, 2000
Princess
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