h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

yeh i'm going 2 wales. Fun, fun, fun in the sun,sun,sun i dont think.

atually its not that bad as i go with a friend and we spend most of our time out at sea in boats so none of my familly can bug me. Also there rn't many sheep round where we go so i dont get to c what t. welsh famers really do with them!!!

NEEEEEEE!!!

what about u? r u getting down?

hehehe yesterday lisa + i phoned this guy (els) up every 1/4 hour and told him that the milkman is a spy. she rang his home phone on a 141 number and i used his mobile. the funny thing was he doesn't attually no who i am hehehe.

talk 2 u soon.

i had my uncle from america round yesterday. luckly he's atually english. catch me talking 2 an american. <>

Hi lizza,

What's the matter?? Don't you like Americans??

Mostly

sos i havnt replied b4 i did but i havce just realised what i rote hasnt posted. all i can remember is that it was v dodgy (sp) so maybe its better that u didnt get it.

2 blow out in england is what u do with candles.

atually it has sevral meenings but i hope ive translated what u mean correctly and p;lease dont tell me if im wrong.

asfter all the fun ive had im going 2 have a terribly exhilirating end 3 the holiday by going 3 wales.

fun huh? luckly where im going there r no farmers mit their sheep so thanfully ill avoid that senario!!!

lisa has a welsh friend who doesnt now me so evry 1/4 hour 1 day we rang him up and cackled down t. fone "the milkman is a spy" and he still dosnt now who i am. tut tut tut.

Hi lizza,

You can be as dodgy as you like, it won't bother me. Its not like anything will come of it. We live on different continents and the likelihood of us ever meeting in person is low. So you can be as dodgy as you like in complete safety. (A blow out is a wild party, although it can be taken other ways depending on the way it's said)

So what is your fascination with farmers and their sheep? Baa. If you really want to know, I'm sure you could find pictures on the Internet somewhere. There are even websites and support groups for zooiphiles Baa.. Baa.. Baa.. Baa.. BAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

I glad you had fun on your holiday.

Did you know that your milkman is a spy for me??

Mostly

u can tell ur nt english. everyone knows what welsh farmers get up 2 with their sheep!!!

neway i guess im just racist *shrugs shoulders* im nt that bad just a typical english- i hate the french and the americans. just the way it is over here.

oh well. i think ur ok but then ive never cn u. and all t. french ive met have just laughed at me but there u r.

i dont no why t, english hate t, french i guess it dates back from yrs ago when evry 50 yrs or so we went and gave them a good kicking up t, @/. I dont like them coz they stole all t, flemish idea

nyway im prbly boring u so ill stop talkin now speak 3 ya soon

gorgeous
lizza

ps dont ask me why i hate t, americans in fact dont ask ny english.

oh btw i dont have a milkman du 3 t, fact that m7 house is unplotable and so no milkman (or ny1 else) would ever b able 3 find it.
but im glad u tried nyway.

Hi lizza,

The fact that you don't see the milkman/spy is what makes him a good spy. It's the ones you don't see that you have to worry about.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean to they are not out you get you.

Mostly.

im not paranoid im a squirrel. ?????

long time no c. talk. write.

bye luv ya

Hi lizza,

Yes it has been a long time since I have heard from you, I thought you may have grow bored with me or left me for another man.

So you are a squirrel, huh? Are you busy gathering nuts for the winter?

It’s good to hear from you again. I hope you are healthy and happy. So how’s life on your side of the planet?

luv u back,

Mostly

ooh i just noticed u replied. sorry. how u me bored coz ff.net is down and i've setn the past week hacking through our school filters 2 get there and now it's down. life. oh i'm being kicked out of the computer room now so i can't talk wrong and i don't want the it man 2 know we got past the filter so i'd better run

Hi Lizza,

Sorry its taken me so long to reply, I've been looking for another job. I was laid off on 15th of Jan.

Congrats on hacking the filters. How are you doing?

Mostly Harmless

sorry bout the job. im fine my life is being spent trying 2 name my ever so sweet puppy and pretending 2 b doing history coursework. yuk. not the puppy of course. i haven't been here 4 ages and i cant think why coz i seem 2 spend my life on line. oh well. ive been skiing ur probly not intrested but there u r ur gonna know nyway. ive just thought of sommit so ive got 2 go bye

btw how much do u know bout me. this is an odd question i know but if u reply then i can use the answer 2 proove 2 my father that im very safe. hes worried i might bite him u c. bob bob bob. spontandom i know. um im gonna go now.... soon nyway. oh i can't b bothered. its my birthday soon as well. he he im gonna b 21. maybe. it depends on what age i feel like being at the time that i decide 2 have my birthday. ur not reading this r u? well if u r stop coz im the most boring person ever xcept i don't xist and im not really a person but thats the way the world spins. is that a saying or have i just made it up? oh i dont know lol bye

This post has been removed.

OK, let's try this again and I'll try not to put to much info in the posting. It got remove because I had you school's address in it.

How much do I know about you... more than you probably think. I know
that you are blonde, almost 5'10", and go to Pate's Grammar School. With these information I lookup Pate's Grammar School and find out that it is located at:

(I remove the address so the posting will not get removed again)

Go and stakeout the school till I found a 5’10” blonde female (how many could there be?) and I have you. And this is just the information that I remember off the top of my head. How much more could I gleen if I read all of your postings and the posting of your friends.

I hope I haven’t frighten you. I am not coming over to Cheltenham,
England to hunt you down. I have more pressing needs at this time like finding a job and taking care of my family. But your father’s concerned is from the heart and valid.

Oh, and you will be 15 on you next birthday.


Mostly Harmless


P.S. Say hello to Jo for me.

i think u know more about me then i do.
thats not hard though ive got a memory like a ... whats one of those things u drain rice in?... ah yes a colenda.
just read dirk gently's. have u? if not then u should if so then yey ur really hoopy.

u made me realise how much i make up.
btw which skin do u prefer?

er bye
oh and can u help me think of a name 4 my new puppy?

hope u find work

Hi lizza,

Yes, I have read both books in the Dirk Gently's series, Dirk Gently's Hoststic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul. A fun read, both of them.

"u made me realise how much i make up." So how much of what I know about you is made up? And would you tell me if it was?

A name for your puppy, well it would help if I know what can of a dog it is, its temperment, and how big it will get. The name of tiny just doesn't fit a Great Dane or a German Shepard. The best dog I every had was named Loki, after to Norse god.

If you would, send up a petition to your (God/Gods/Goddess/Spirits/...) for me to find a job.

Thanks,

Mostly Harmless

it would kinda defeat the object of not being stalkable if i told u what facts were wrong.

my puppy is a white golden retriever so will be quite big

and yes.

i think that fills all the requirements.

loki's quite a nice name.

nothimg more 2 say really so i'll wonder off again.

oh i had a really cool murder mystery party which was really cool (hense it being called a really cool murder mystery party).

havre u seen the film a fish called wonder. this is 1 of those really random questions i spontandomly dig up from time 2 time and other times 2.

i went 2 c kathrine roberts and diana wynne jones and they sighned my books so im in a good mood at teh moment yey.

I glad your in a good mood, but how can your dog be white and golden at the same time ?????????

Since your dog will be big and white how about the name Yeti (aka the abominable snowman), avalanche, or Blizzard. On second thought delete Blizzard, it just does sound right for a name.

Talk with you later.

big hug and kiss from me (a mostly harmless non-stalker (I really shouldn't joke about such thing ))

Mostly Harmless

i dont no why any1 would wanna stalk me. im very boring really.
stop being so clever im having a very blonde day today. 2 list afew things i thought there were 100 secs in a min and have therfore based all my phisics and running times on that. i know there were lots more but my minute brain cannot remember them and im tired. its been a really odd teacher day as well. 1 tried 2 have a long conversation with me about my easter holidays this was made worse by the fact that not only was i the only person he tried 2 talk 2 but i was sitting furthest away from him. the same teacher also made the comment all the girls are scheming over how they can all blow at the same time (hes 1 of these people who doesnt realise why we all start laughing) and another told me i was better out of school then in which u can take any way u like.
thanx 4 the names were gonna call her saffy short 4 saffron coz our last dog was called amber.