h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Grr, our half term doesn't start till Friday. I can't wait, we've only been at school 7 weeks but it feels like an absolute eternity.
I love Friends. Ross is my favourite. I was watching it the other night and it came up 'Next, another episode of Friends, just in case you don't have any of your own'.
I think if terrorists or someone crashed the internet the whole of western civilisation would be in ruins.
I got an offer already! How exciting! It's for Southampton, and it's conditional on AAA, but yay! They must be really efficient down there.
LNAT tomorrow, eep. I did a practice essay so hopefully that'll be OK. I just hope I get something decent I can write about.

Yeah I've been back since thursday and I've got till next monday. It's rather boring really but I've been doing loads of driving.
How is Ross your favourite? He's the boring one, he reminds me of me!
Yeah, I would because that's practically all I do at the moment.
I haven't heard anything yet! At least nothing other than 'we have your applications and we'll contact you later' and that's only Cambridge and UCL.
My brother's just been having a chav fight on bebo with someone who I actually can't under stand cz ee spz k thz. I was going to join in but I think I'll just watch instead. Little bit immature really.

Aww no, Ross is great! He's so geeky and cool at the same time! And it's not just me, because I had this conversation with my friends today and three of them like Ross best too. Who's your favourite then?
No-one's told me they have my application. I was beginning to worry there was something wrong till I got the letter from Southampton. I think I'm the first person in my year with an offer (except a girl who's moving to Australia). Oxford haven't sent me anything but the other two applying from my year haven't got anything from them either so I assume no-one has. Though apparently they don't give you much notice about interviews which isn't good when you need to book flights.
My LNAT's over! The multiple choice was tough but I got a good essay topic (Are there any moral rules that should never be broken?) Sadly I ran out of time and had to finish in the middle of what I'd meant to say. I typed a conclusion in under a minute and hit the last full stop as it flashed up 'end of exam', so the spelling is probably appalling. But ah well, it's over now.

I dunno. Probably Joey but sometimes Phoebe. She's annoying sometimes though.
I haven't had any offers yet but Cambridge and UCL have my applications. Some people have heard stuff though from places like Birmingham and stuff.
Yeah little worries about interviews in that sense but I don't know when we break up.
Yours sounds fine but I really picked the wrong question to do there. How long was yours because mine was only about 300-400 words. Which is too short.

Really? Phoebe is my least favourite, she kind of annoys me.
I got another offer! From Newcastle! And Oxford sent me a letter saying they had my application, so it's all good. Though they said I'd get at least a week's notice if I had an interview, which means flights and stuff would be really expensive. And they wonder why hardly anyone from Northern Ireland applies.
I'm sure yours was fine, you always think you did worse than you actually did. Mine was about 600 words but I only got through about half the stuff in my plan, because I waffled about irrelevant stuff, then realised I was running out of time, panicked and stuck everything in the last paragraph. But yeah, c'est la vie. What was your question on?
I have a sore throat and my neck is all swollen, which is really annoying because I hate being sick on holidays. I mean, all these weeks I could have been ill and missed school and I have to miss out on holidays sitting at the doctors tomorrow. It's a cruel, cruel world.
On the upside, it's still holidays though.

Well she's ok when in a group but on her own she is a bit much.
I haven't got ANYTHING yet! Apart from a questionnaire from Pembroke though, and the first question on that is what attracted you to the course? Fun. Though I have been reading a magazine called the lawyer which makes me really want to get into it. Barristering looks good.
The questionnaire also asks if there's any time in the interview period when I will be unable to get there so I should be ok, plus I think I'm at school during that time anyway.
Wait, you're on holiday now? Unfair! I've just got back from half term and after one day I'm already dirt tired and have too much to do. And there's rugby again today!
No, I definately did very badly in my LNAT essay. I read up on doing the right question and for some insane reason I did about television and why parents should limit the amount of it their children watch. Definately should have done one of the other ones though. And it was too short because I changed to it half way through.
Do you like my anagram by the way? They're a halloween thing, I think it's sort of a virtual equivalent of fancy dress. Changing it back tomorrow though.

Yeah, I'm the only person in my year who's got offers already. Feel special. Most people haven't sent theirs off yet though, only the three of us applying to Oxford and the ten or so medicine people.
I actually think I'd rather be a solicitor, because my work experience with a solicitor was more interesting than with a barrister, though it could be because the barrister didn't have any cases that week so it was just sitting in court.
Ahh! Did you apply to Pembroke? That's where I stayed when I was in Cambridge! How cool! It was lovely.
Oxford just sent me a form about equal opportunities (I hate those things, they always ask 'White British or White Irish' and I never know what to put). And also one asking if I got an interview when would I need accomodation for and that kind of thing.
Yeah my half-term just started yesterday, mwahaha. But apparently I have a throat infection so I can't do anything, and my friends are all going go-karting later and I have to stay in and rest.
What's wrong with rugby?
How do you know which is the right question to do? Now I'm worried. My other choices were on homeopathic medicine and other things equally ridiculous, I was flicking through them thinking "Please be something I can write about... please..." Did your school give you any tutoring or anything? My teacher went on a rant about public schools who tutor people for everything.
And really, I'm sure you did fine.
I was wondering about the whole anagram thing. I'll change mine now, just to be cool.

I have naaaating!
I haven't had any barrister work esperience or solicitor experiece specifically but when I was on work experience I did office stuff which was boring because there wasn't any (if h2g2 wasn't here I would have gone mad through boredom!) and I went to court a few times which were quite interesting.
Pembroke is great isn't it? I saw it on the open day and really liked it.
I can't fill my form in because I don't have a good black pen, which I'm assuming they want. Don't want to give them any reasons to discard my application now do I? (why did I just write that? It's such a load of tripe! Just look at it! Embarrassing!)
Anyway...
Don't tell me I haven't ranted at you about how much I dislike rugby in the year and a bit that we've been talking? Basically I just don't like it because it's for brutal people or which I'm not one and I'm rubbish at it. Also I'm big so I'm expected to be good at it and I'm not, do I always feel like I'm letting people down. Matches aren't actually that bad, it's just the 3 training sessions a week that loom over me like a raincloud.
I didn't know the right question but I have a book called 'letters to a law student' that has an LNAT section about picking questions that are good and not picking ones you can't really argue for without being predictable or boring. I really picked the wrong one, therefore I did badly.
I've just got internet in my room which means I will officially get no work done ever for the rest of this term!
Nice anagram! Love the pleb on the end.

Haha, thanks. I cheated though, I used an online anagram generator.
Ahh, Pembroke. Brings back happy memories. I can't believe that was almost a year ago.
To anyone else that would probably sound really stupid, but I actually did the exact same thing, I borrowed my mum's good black pen to fill in the Oxford form. Like as if they're going to say, "Oooh! She used a cheapo blotchy biro for her form! Let's blacklist her application!"
I don't seem to remember you hating rugby so violently but you may have mentioned it. Luckily girls don't have to play it. I quite like watching the Six Nations on TV, but only really because my dad is obsessed with rugby and whenever it's on he always gets popcorn and tortilla chips and all this food, so I just sit and watch it so I can eat. Once I went to a school match at Ravenhill (the stadium in Belfast) and it was extremely boring and because there was no commentator I hadn't a clue what was happening. But I did get a day off school for it. Do you have to play even if you don't want to? All the school sport I have to do is an hour's powerwalking a week. Problem is, there's a new teacher covering it this year who actually thinks it means 'powerwalk' rather than 'have a nice stroll around the park with your friends'. Not so good.
Ooh, internet in your room. I've borrowed my mum's laptop (because I'm meant to be writing a speech for the German debate team) so I temporarily have a computer in my room. Privilege will be revoked as soon as she realises I'm downloading music and haven't started the speech. (I have to argue that soap operas make a useful contribution to society. In German.)
Yeah, I'd better go get started at that. Have fun in school.

There's an online anagram generator? This I gotta see! (where is it?)
A year ago? I was there in the summer for the open day.
Well I'm using the pen thing as an excuse because as yet I don't know what to write for the what attracted you bit.
I don't hate it violently, just passively but still with a passion. We don't have to play it but it's just one more half season and then I can quit forever! Mwahahaha!! If I was to quit though I'd have to go and tell the coach and my housemaster and everyone, and then I have to find an alternative and there isn't much else to do. If I stick it for the rest of the season though I can say that I did it and then never go back.
I don't mind watching it though. The rugby world cup was amazing, whole house in the common room watching with hotdogs at half time and the headmaster realised he couldn't control us so he postponed lessons for the afternoon.
How do soap operas contribute to the society?
We're on winter timetable now which means that on tuesdays and thursdays we have lunch then games then lessons instead of lessons then games because it gets dark earlier. It sucks though because now I've finished sport and have 2 lessons to go to. Then just 10 minutes to get back to house, whip on the casuals and get to choir before 6 so I don't get yelled at. And no I'm not going in my suit because I don't want to look like a pillock.

It's at www dot anagramgenius dot com slash server. (I don't know if you can post links on hootoo, but I seem to remember not being able to on another BBC forum. I'm sure a Cambridge applicant can work it out )
You could just rehash your personal statement for the 'what attracted you to this course'. Or even better, look at the blurb in their prospectus and see what they emphasise and develop a life-long passion for whatever it is.
Was the rugby world cup not on a Saturday? (I assume we're talking about the final) Please tell me you don't have lessons on a Saturday.
Well, the main thrust of my speech is going to be that they follow a great tradition of bringing culture to the masses, in the manner of Mozart's operas, Shakespeare's plays, Dickens' novels etc (I realise this is extremely tenuous, but we're getting the far more difficult side to argue, the other team has it easy). The other speakers are mostly arguing that they raise important issues in our society. I'm team captain () so I have to be the first speaker and then sum up at the end. Eek. But we're debating against one of Northern Ireland's very few private schools so feelings are running high.
Yuck, that's nasty. We have games last thing Wednesday, so I have to change into games kit, powerwalk round the park, go back to school, change into uniform, then walk home. I usually then collapse on the sofa after all the exertion.
Suit? Is that your uniform? Do you wear waistcoats or straw boaters?

Ooo, was that a stab at Cambridge? I've already seen Oxford people on another site slating Cambridge. Must be jealousy I guess.
I'll look something for that up when I have time. Just come back from a lecture, got 2 preps and an essay to do (one of the preps is for tomorrow), loads of other stuff that I just 'should do' at some point and there's Oasis tonight and it's the first one without the chaplain so I was going to go and support the guy who's doing it.
Explanation: Oasis is this thing we have on Tuesdays at about 8.30 where you go to the chapel and sit and listen to music and some readings and be all very spiritual and then go to the chaplain's office for hot chocolate, donuts and conversation. I went for the chaplain's last one and it was really good, though I think that's the second one I've been to ever and he's left now. It was really weird though because I wept in it. Seriously, no idea why but I sat there for the last few minutes balling my eyes out. Wasn't sadness though, something really weird. And 2 other people came up to me and they were crying too. I think a lot of people were that time.
Yeah it was on a Saturday. Because of your request I'm going to say no, we don't have Saturday school, but there isn't really much truth in that statement.
You didn't say this was for a German debate, I thought it was just some essay you had to do. Debating's fun, I did it once and I rocked! We lost but that's because my house didn't say anything in the floor debate. I was awesome. And why would feelings be running high just because it's a private school?
Yeah, in 6th form our uniform is just to wear a smart suit. It's ok for boys but girls can get away with literally anything! Some of the in the year below me actually look like high end call girls their skirts are so short! And they got shocked when one of the teachers called them a slag. What was she expecting?! Thing is though normally they get away with anything and the boys aren't even allowed to wear light trousers in case they get dirty because then it shows up more. Ridiculous!

No no no, it wasn't a dig at Cambridge at all. It's a lovely place. Sure I've just been reminiscing about how much I liked it! Really, the only reason I picked Oxford instead was because of the whole Tolkien connection.
Flip, Saturday school. That's horrible. For the whole day, or just for the morning or something?
Well, everyone is going "Ahh, stupid posh people, we'll show them we're just as good as they are" type thing. Nothing personal really, honest.
Yeah, I love debating, though German debating's a bit different because there isn't a floor debate. You have to respond to what the previous person on the other team said though, which can be difficult when you didn't understand half their speech.
I'm just looking up German soap operas here, and they have such dumb titles. A selection (translated obviously): "Good Times, Bad Times", "Forbidden Love", "So Many Lives", "Everyone Together - Each For Themselves", "Beloved Sisters", and "Mallorca - Search For Paradise". That's dire.

Ok, I believe you. I haven't seen much of Oxford because the only time I was there was that law open day and I didn't see much of the town at all.
It's a bit horrible yeah. But it's not too bad because it's only morning lessons and I have free periods in 2 of them anyway. Then there's sport and then free time until back in house time unless there's something special on like a disco. The best thing is if there's no sport and you're free from lunchtime onwards and can just go into town and hang out there.
Most so called posh people aren't actually that good at stuff like that anyway. Certainly not my lot. My year's full of non-posh prefect haters.
Those are pretty bad, but our soap operas are basically just the name of the place where all the stuff happens like 'hollyoaks', 'emmerdale' and 'eastenders'. Obviously there's 'neighbours' too but that's from Oz so it has to be different.

Sorry, I kind of only got half my reply in there because I got kicked off the computer in the middle of it and I didn't want to have to retype the whole thing again, because I'm lazy.
Yeah, I stayed the rest of the weekend at the law open day and went round all the colleges and everything. It was great cos all the porters kept going "This is private property! Clear off!" and I would go "But I'm a prospective student" and then they would let me look around everywhere.
Morning lessons aren't too bad I suppose. In the evenings during the week are you allowed out of school, or is there like a curfew or something?
I suppose that's true about the soap operas. Distinct lack of imagination going on there. Even 'Friends' is pretty pathetic when you think about it (though I know it's not a soap). At least the Germans are making an effort, even if it is terminally cheesy.
Your uniform doesn't sound too bad actually. We have a blazer, shirt, tie and skirt (obviously trousers for guys). For junior school it's a short navy skirt and you wouldn't believe how short some of those 11 year olds have their skirts, it's just crazy. Then after Year 11 it's a grey pleated skirt, which blows up everywhere at even the barest hint of wind. Though at least it's impossible to have a pleated skirt very short without looking like a fool. And you can run up stairs without running the risk of splitting it up the side (happened to me once, very not good.)
The Oasis thing sounds really cool, hope you enjoy it. Is the chaplain a minister or something who stays at your school then?

Don't you hate when that happens?
Ah, good old student privilege.
They're not that bad unless you have only one which is at the beginning which means you have to get up for it and then have nothing else to do until lunch. It can get quite boring, though at the moment I don't have time to be bored with preps in all 3 subjects (I've also decided I hate physics and really shouldn't have carried it on, at least not with my current teacher), plus rugby (2 matches this week! Won the first one though), musical rehearsals (I really don't think we're going to get this one, we have a whole 2 more dances to learn, many to get right with words and singing, ALL the dialogue in between and the director hasn't realised that she's cast ALL THE WRONG PEOPLE! AGAIN!), application stuff still going on, extra critical thinking work to do by saturday, house and school duties, sixth form societies to attend as well as special extra lectures (fun), sort out our house show which is on soon and we haven't done anything for (and it's normally the most anticipated event of the year! Cripes!) and try to remember to go to meals and (interlude: I just got a cramp and it really hurt) sleep for a sufficient amount of time.
Wow, I have a lot on. I hadn't realised just how much until I did that. This is not good.
One point on the skirts, seeing 11 and 12 year olds wearing what are basically 'f * * * me I'm a prossie' skirts is really disturbing, disgusting, wrong and should be banned. Plus most of the older ones are fat and you can see their whole leg. It's just wrong. And people wonder why there are so many child molestations! Skirts to the knee people please!
Yeah Oasis is good. I have only been 3 times but I might make it a regular thing now because it's nice.
The Chaplain is the like the minister yeah, he sorts out all of the school chapel stuff like readings, prayers, sermons etc. And now we don't have one until January which means the school prefects (me) and the chapel comittee (also me) are going to have to sort out wednesday friday and sunday chapels until christmas. Yay, more stuff.

OK, I've probably asked this before, but what are preps? Are they like homeworks?
Critical thinking is the one all the universities dislike, isn't it? What does it actually involve? We don't have it here at all, I'd never heard of it before people started talking about it at Oxford.
Ooh, another musical? What is it this time?
This year our music teacher is leaving so we're having a huge concert at the Waterfront Hall (concert hall in Belfast) to celebrate. Just any excuse for a big concert I think. So all the music-y people are in rehearsals almost every day already. I suppose I'll have to be an usher, since I'm a senior prefect, but that does mean I get in without having to pay.
Yeah, I have lots on too. Small sample: doing four subjects (eek), organising school Bible study, organising debating society, German debate competition, helping out at junior youth at church, making stupid videos (we're planning a Bohemian Rhapsody one) and now there's some youth council thing being set up and one of my friends is running so she's roped me in to do all her campaign publicity. I should stop agreeing to do all this stuff.
Last week there was a junior disco in school and I was in because there was also an SU event on in the evening, and it was actually shocking, some of the stuff they were wearing. I mean, they're only kids! It's just wrong. I think when I get back to school (how have the holidays gone so fast?!?) I'll start cracking down on skirt lengths. Usually I don't say anything because frankly some of those kids are scary. But I think it's time to exert some authority.
Sounds cool. We have assembly every breaktime and the prefects have a rota for who's going to do the reading and then one of the teachers does a prayer. That's about all the spiritual stuff that happens in school. Except SU of course.

Yes they are. Instead of saying 'a piece of homework' we say 'a prep'. No one really says homework here, maybe something to do with the fact that barely anyone goes home to do it.
It sort of it, I think they say they don't encourage it but if you do it I don't think it counts against you. Unless you do badly. Oh cripes.
Yes another musical, though this time there isn't a druggie in a main part for me to take over from thank God. In fact there isn't a main part at all really. It's called 'A Chorus Line' and it's about people auditioning to be in a musical. Bit like 'Fame' I guess but American and with an unbelievable amount of dancing. There's a whole load of named parts plus some auditionees who get kicked out in the early stages and at the end 8 of the main parts are told they're got into the musical everyone's auditioning for. I don't get in but the people who don't do anything particularly special. I'm actually quite a small part which is a relief, m character's called Al, he's married to someone who can't sing and that's what our song is about and from what I can gather he's a cheater and/or a pervert (one of my lyrics is "I got nancy's picture, annabel's locket, cynthia's ring and Lucy's pants" and then something about a guy called Eddie dying in a car crash ).
Ushers get it so easy. All the authority plus a free show.
We're planning on a bohemian rhapsody sketch for our house show too because when we were in 3rd form (year 9) the 6.2 (year 13) did it and no-one else who's at this one was at that one so no-one will know that we stole it apart from our year and the teachers. It's a Saturday Night Fever theme though so I don't know how well that song fits in. We're sort of having 60's through 80's inclusive throughout the night I think.
Yeah I agree to too much stuff too. I've also found out other people are being asked to send off work to Cambridge so I've emailed them asking if I need to as well.
Normally I'm very against nannying by the government but I do think they should do something about school uniforms and have skirts to the knee at least.
Our chapel stuff isn't particularly spiritual unless you are. It's effectively another assembley and an excuse to prevent people lying in in the mornings if they have free periods and to get up on Sundays after discos to have really long services and probably faint. This half of term our disco is on remembrance day weekend so we're having a disco followed by the longest chapel service of the year. Normally someone throws up or faints. Last year I think it was one of the teachers.

Hmm, that is a bit weird. Though bear in mind that in America 'pants' are actually trousers. Still weird, but slightly better.
The problem with ushing (that's what I call it, I know it's not right but I like it anyway) is when you don't know where any of the seats are. That happened to me at prize night, I was like: "Do you need any help finding your seat? Yes? B12? Ummm, well, that would be, er... hey, Rachel, where's B12? What? Well, you go with Rachel there, yes, she'll find your seat for you. Have a lovely evening."
Yeah, we're doing that at the Debating Society, rehashing all the old debates we had when we were in first year cos no-one will remember them. Like, 'This house believes Santa is a danger to society' etc. That was a good one.
For Bohemian Rhapsody what we're planning to do is get a load of people in our year to lipsynch a few lines, then we run them all together. Some guys from my church did one like that and it was great. But I don't know if we'll get enough people since half the year think we're insane.
Actually, here, third year is year 10 and upper sixth is year 14. Don't ask me why it's different. Primary school is P1 - P7 and high school is Year 8 to Year 14.
For law at Oxford I don't need to send any work off, just do the LNAT. Cambridge is probably the same.
That's actually the funniest thing I've heard for ages. Our remembrance day service lasts forever as well, they have to extend break to half an hour for it. Basically they play the last post and the head boy and girl lay wreaths at the front of the hall, and then they read out the names of the eight or so people from the school who died in WW2, and then the guy who was shot by the IRA as well, and then there's a prayer and a moment's silence, and then the headmaster makes a big long speech. And you have to stand all the way through, and the juniors are always really immature and cough away during the minute's silence. That really winds me up.
Last year the German language assistant asked why there was a longer assembly and we had to explain remembrance day and everything, and it was really embarassing because she started going 'Oh, I feel so ashamed to be German'. This year the assistant is Austrian so that might be better (though Hitler was Austrian I suppose).
OK, gotta go, got a driving lesson now.

I suppose you're right about the pants thing, but I'm thinking of how the audience will perceive it, because it's american but we're not doing it in accents because not everyone can and it'll sound really weird if some do and some don't, so I'll be singing pants less american and probably more english. Although actually with the singing it's kinds accented anyway. Hmm...
That's an amazing quote of you ushing! So do you just hope that no-one needs help with their seats then or do you only know where some of them are?
How is Santa a ... oh wait, never mind, I think I've worked it out.-->
We're doing something in the dark with torches on out faces when the lines are on. I was listening to it earlier and was thinking up loads of cool formations and stuff but I don't think any of the others will listen to my because Elmo's normally the choreographer for our stuff.
Yeah I don't think Pembroke asks for it. Some colleges do but not all of them, I think Pembroke is just LNAT and written test at interview.
We've got a really long list of names of people who died, and I think ours is both World Wars. I don't think we have many immature people in the silent bit but there's always one isn't there?
Yeah, we have German students normally in every lower 6th year and last year I remember loads of conversations about the war and stuff. The worst is when they appologise for it because it's not their fault, they weren't even alive during the war!
Have fun driving. Don't know if I've told you already but I passed my test in the summer and am an amazing driver!