h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

An 'undone' story - how intriguing.

Btw, I suffer from waking several times at night, too.

I've had some success with NOT looking how late it is, and NOT getting up to go to the toilet.

... 'morning all ... .... wondrous ones ..

... lots of treasures here to consider ...

I know what you mean B'Elana .. about the not-looking at the clock ..to help with night panics .. go away clock .. you are now a not-clock ..... hmm .. anyway you ticktock not-clock ..it might not be 3 am ... your batteries might be low .. except you are digital .. that's the trouble with digital clocks .. they don't run slow or stop ..do they? ... or tick or tock to rhyme with clock ... . so no excuse ....

then there's the attempted nocturnal journey through the dark to the bathroom .. .. I always stub my toe on my bike pedal .. which wakes me up totally and the real world crashes in on my head .. and my toe .. . making the panic yet worse .. (we store our bikes on the landing outside the bathroom .. not a good idea .. thwack! yeeeeeeeeouch **** .. .... waking all the neighbours .. and the neighbourhood dogs cats and sleeping angels ... ...)

hey Elektra luvvy .. .. I never thought about that ... the (as you so aptly describe ) ... involved with trying to comb the coat of a Shih Tzu .. ..(hey Ariel ) .....

.. makes me think twice about my dream of sharing my life with a whippet or five ... mind you whippets have short smooth coats ... except they have to run about 10 miles a day or something ... and that would keep me fit ... hmm .. no more enjoyable visits to the gym where I can watch TV and stay out of the rain and not get muddy while I am running up a fake hill ... going for a not-walk in fact ... hmm ... ...

and as for D's not doing of appreciating art ... .. the ... the not-story .. the undone story .. to quote you wise folks .. love it ... .....

had further thoughts ... and a dream ... (at about 3.20 am last night ... according to the tick tock not clock ..) about the non-story ... the undone story ... the other story ....

uh oh .. beware the rhyme .. nope .. haven't got that far yet .. and luckily for you I right now I hath neither time nor rhyme ... ....

till later ... hah!

pom pom pom ... I do feel consumed with a most marvellous wellbeing right now ... pom pom pom .. cue to stub my toe .. .. or not .. cue the non story ..

some years ago this wise person once told me that if I wanted to work on being a very evolved person (like him) ... the test would come when I ... say ...stubbed a toe or hit my finger with a hammer or stood barefoot on a drawing pin .. if I was able to go yeeeeeeouch in a rational way .. kind of quietly .. and somehow use the energy of the mishap to re-evaluate my life ... then I was doing OK ... but ... at that time .... I told him to go away in a not very quiet not very rational way ... in fact using some fairly unevolved reflexes ... and for years I had this fantasy about chasing him down an avenue dressed in an ape suit ..

so now I suppose I have to go meet him in a coffeeshop in a dream and say sorry in a quiet rational evolved way ... but can I keep the ape suit on? ....




which is probably the kind of paragraph that is not entirely interesting ..... and so therefore I shall move rapidly onto some serious thoughts >>>>>



I think .. for me ... the essence of the non story ... the undone story .. the other story .... is in fact impossible to describe because it is somehow wordless .... but ....if I was to write notes around it I would say it is something to do with energy .. ...like an invisible yet enduring subterranean river that runs parallel with everyday reality ... possibly its a state of mind .. or no-mind ...



thing is .... I find it so poetic ..so charismatic and enduring and vast and mysterious ...could be the Muse in fact ... perhaps .. its as if the ultimate poem is already written .... so why do I want to write absurd rhyming non-stories about someone who goes to an art gallery and then goes home to eat beans and watch TV ....... erm .. well ... I don't know ... .. but I'm in love with something right now ... so hey ... (if I had the answers I could remove my ape suit ... ) ...

you know that funny feeling? when the subterranean river somehow comes to the surface of everyday existence ... and the moment seems to take on another dimension .. yet it is a completely normal everyday moment ....



with me it can be sparked off by anything ... strange juxtapositions of sounds and images and textures ... a bird singing in a tree on the corner by the supermarket .. a fleeting glimpse of a smile in a crowd .. the rhythm of echoing footsteps when running for a train ...anything ... it can occur anywhere at any time ... however mundane the circumstances ... in fact the more mundane the better ... (hence the non story ) ....



with me it used to occur a lot when under stress ... my first memory of it is during first term at school .. aged five ... walking into the scary school world in my new black walking shoes ... and I would stare at the creases made in the leather when I took a step ..or listen the sound of the chapel bell from the convent school next door ...ting ting ting .. all day .. hypnotic ... soundscapes .. sensory textures ... ... that other world .. that non-story .. that funny state of mind .. ..

a right little spaced out space-kid in fact .. by the time I was 20 I was well away ... ...

but what this little kid could never could figure out was ... if this magic world was everywhere ...this funny other world ... that was so beautiful and mysterious ... why did the real world get so nasty and barbaric and horrible ... so then wah and again ... and everything ....

oh >>>>>>>>>>>tbc ............. laters .......>>>>>>> the tick tock non clock just turned into a clock >>>>>>>>>>>>>

Beautiful lady you got it! You are brilliant and spot on. What a wonderful description of DIT. I you but you too! Wouldn't it be nice to be in a place where lots of people experience this? People couldn't be so mean, selfish and hateful, because it just didn't occur to them. Also people would not be worried constantly. Bliss! No paranoia, no panic attacks just a matrix of warmth and love spiced by good natured bantering ===joking relationships that people would have with other. How would that be? Where everyone would experience the isness of reality without beating someone with a different point of view down. How boring if everybody experienced the world the same way!

oh oh oh Elektra sweet luvvy .. you got it ... ..you got it .. wish I just wrote it like you did .... .. serious .. .

(runs around in circles .. still in ape suit ..) ...

the itness of reality ... itness itness itness itness .. that's the word .. itness ....

matrix ... wonderful word .. matrix ... I need to think about this word .... matrix matrix ...

...........have to go have supper to feed my thoughts ...... then go watch something almost-intelligent on TV ....like Dodgeball! ah yes ... Dodgeball! fine film ...

speak soon

goodnight wise one

hmm .. s'cuse me .. just laying down some thoughts here ... .. uh oh .....

...sometimes I think I missed my vocation .. I should have been a trapeze artist .. .. all those highs and lows .. except I get vertigo .. .. and do I trust the safety net? whoah .. hmm .. is there a safety net? .. hmm ..bit like my psyche really ...



yesterday I had an inner warning .. like those chevrons and signs on the road ... to take it a little easy around the next bend ... on this curious road .. the human journey ... hmm ..



and I said to myself ... all my fancy talk of this and that .. .. my story and my non story .. my idiocy and my intensity ... my theatrics and my brokenhearted cracks that no disguise can cover ..perhaps my inner-critic is right after all .. maybe I am just a naive dreamer ... hmm ...



can I put it all into practice when the going gets rough?

can I embrace it all? and still maintain my delight and my sanity and my responsibility to love ... what about when my path inevitably runs right into the itness and the fact of human pain .. human suffering.. that pain that runs through my soul .. that is me .. that hurts beyond words .... and the fact that at every moment a fellow human is also hurting ...



when I realise that the blood of history sloshes through my veins ..every drop of it ..its all in there ... along with the fragrance of the lilies .. and can I face that strange angel-beast that prowls through the cracks in my own psyche? all the opposites .. all the paradoxes ... ..all the heavens and hells .. all the highs and lows ..

.....and all wrapped in this skin ...however thin .. the pain and the wonder of creation .. can I really face the Itness of it all?

hmm .. then this morning the Muse did once again help me to find the rhyme ... ... handed me another missing piece to my non-story ... Balance .. faithful loyal Balance .. that magic inner-juggler .. who grins and forgives me even when I drop all the pieces ... ..which is all the time .... ah yes ... the Middle Way ...



..I used to get a bit sad or anxious when people told me about the Middle Way ....because I thought I was too much of a mess to ever be allowed to journey along its mysterious ways ...



but then this morning I realised that I can make it mine .. beyond the concept .. and there are some really good roadstops to be found along the Middle Way .. (if you're me ...) ... where I can meet up with magic trapeze artists and jugglers and travellers .. with saints and sinners and maybe even that biker ... uh oh .. who can help me out when I am quivering and shaking .. when my field of liies just got washed through with rivers of blood ...

... yowzum this is some journey .. serious business .. hmm .. so I think my inner-critic can go away... maybe I am a naive dreamer ... but this path seems real enough to me .. so ..please inner critter of a critic .. you can give me back my biro ... give me back my kisses .. give me back my ape suit .. give me back my wounds .. give me back my dance .. thankyou very much ..

and erm ... yes . .. quite so .. and I am going to take a deep breath and go sit in a roadstop along the Middle Way and write some rhymes ... and practice the dance ... and also just go take it easy for a while ...

hmm ... ...mine's a double espresso please ... thankyou travellers ..



what a funny posting that was .. hmm .. ah well ... need cake ...

Hope you had plenty of and and sherry too! I am too pain adverse to be a true artist. I think that we should be open to others pain so we can share it and disribute it wider. Pain adversion is just a particular sort of selfishness, and I want not to be selfish. I just don't know how to share enough or let people have their own space. Too many of us pirates around and that is why this place is such a mess.

We have reviewed this thread extensively. While we cannot point to any House Rules that you have deliberately contravened, we find your writings to be vaguely unsettling and slightly at odds with any rational view of reality acceptable to the Western world.

As you are aware, our Universe is held together by commonly held belief systems and thought patterns. We find your writings to be dangerously creative and possibly dangerous to the fabric of reality.

Rather than create a new house rule, we would like to suggest that you undergo a long course of Rehab, possibly with electrical shock treatments.

Hey.

That's not really "The Italics". That's just Spammy Pig making trouble again under a new name.

As the name was not in italics, I assumed as much...that is, without knowing who the culprit was...

Shame on you, Unknown Hiker...how do you know this is not the sanest corner in the universe, so there?

I shall now use a smiley I NEVER use...

Dear Cactuscafe,

Please accept my most sincere public apology for my poor and failed attempt at humor under a psuedonym. No offense was intended. As I read this wonderful and creative thread each day, I often wish to participate in some way but lack the imagination and talent to contribute.

I think maybe I will just go away from h2g2 for awile. Now even my alter egos are contravening the house rules in some way and having their usernames reset by the Italics.

Keep writing, I'll crawl back to my corner and continue ing.

You most avid fan,

Phred

hah!

morning all ... hmm .. uh oh .. .....

I just got an urgent e-mail from my dear and darling phriend the Phredster ... worrying he'd upset me ...



so then I had to slink back into here to see what was going on ....listen ... hey ... its OK ... I'm really and truly and urgently and honestly not upset .... in fact I am quite delighted to find a stepping stone back into this crazed and slightly fevered Cafe ... ...I was hoping I could find the strength to return in a couple of days anyway .. but was intending to return with a poem-offering .. and a bunch of plastic dandelions . sometimes I have to lie a bit low and douse myself with sherry and cold seawater.. ...especially when I have journeyed a bit deep .. know what I mean ..

and hullo other darling and dearest and wondrous friends ...

I was saying in an e-mail to Phreddy recently that I still sometimes feel I write a bit too crazy to be on h2 .. always on about weird psychological things .. and my inner state .. and being a bit inappropriate and incredibly boring really .... ... and worry that I am being an embarrassment to the general status quo (fine band Status Quo) ... and sort of like everything know what I mean ... funny old world innit ..

so everything is somehow relevant and quite in order ... ...



....there is a particular zone of exploration .. concerning artists and sensitives and seekers and seers ...and mental stability ... whether they are mentally stable or not ... and who says who is mad and who isn't and all that sort of thing .. sometimes it goes with the territory ... inspiration sometimes has to seep through cracks in the psyche ...

but as my hero Leonard Cohen once wrote so aptly...

<<>>
Leonard Cohen

and my life has taken me into contexts where I have run into real casualities .. those who never made it through... and its very sad and harrowing to witness .... I have a lot of experience in these worlds .. having lived and worked in various environments concerning mental health ... and am always prepared to discuss it .... perhaps I should redefine limits and uses of the words or

hmm .. I shall think about that ...



however ... I personally am doing quite fine ..... my Balance and my non-story are coming along very nicely ....... ... my notebook doth o'erflow .. ..... and I intend to return later tonight or tomorrow .... to share the almost intelligible fruits of my mind ..

please ... dear friends .... it is esssential that you can tease and jest and be yourselves with me..... I love it ....I do provoke it sometimes ... hmm ... sorry 'bout that ... say stupid things and then get all sensitive ....I'm still a bit of mess at times ... give out mixed messages .. ah well .. we all make it through in the end .. sometimes teasing can get close to the edge ..... hmm .. and highlight my worse fears ... ... but a lot of healing is rooted in the shamanic tricker tradition ... and its good for me .. .....

...

(unless this journal really does get yikesed ....and I do respect the h2g2 status quo ....and the limits ... I am not a rebel .. just a bit ... erm .. expressive ...sometimes ...in which case I would have something to learn ... but its still here ... so that helps my confidence ... )

onward! .... into Balance! ... I have .. since we last all spoke .. become an incredibly interesting and balanced person .... ahem

....and I am now very glad that this situation has got me back into TheCafe ..

so thankyou ... and hey and kisses and winks and blinks and please don't go Phreddy please don't go ..... unless you want to .. then I'll see you on e-mail .. and haven't said hullo to DG or Elektra for days .. or anything .. and everything and yes and this and that ....

off to drink some lunch .. .. with perhaps some food ..


whooooooaorgh

speak soon

OK .. now where are we ....Order in TheCafe! anyway .. any disorder is all my fault ...

... I think I need 52 hamster graphics .....

... well OK maybe four ....



anyway Phreddy you can't leave h2g2 .. you are a very respected travel writer and writer person around here ....and Spammy the Pig is Spammy the Pig and hullo Spammy .. so there ...

and anyway Elektra what you on about .. going on about being selfish .... you are a gorgeous honeybunch so there ...

and anyway DG ... hullo dreambrains.. (cheezy grin) ...

OK .... now .... Balance Balance Balance ...from now on I take tea and be interesting .. no talk of pain or madness or toenails or crabapples ..... OK we can have crabapples ...



we can? thankyou ....

Wimbledon season! yay! ... ... start of summer! .. and Glastonbury Festival at the weekend ...(also on TV these days ... ) ... that's us out then for intelligent conversation .... glued to TV ...

....

now I shall take sherry with the friendly recluse who is my spouse for better or for almost better ..

and then return to consider things of a rare and fine and balanced nature ...

you like this new balanced and interesting type me?

no?????

what???? .....

You and balanced...your idea of balanced, my dear, is having a glass of sherry in each hand, while a certain Scotsman recites poetry about his vacuum cleaner...

Back.

Phred, for what it's worth: Your joke was funny, and nobody's offended. You're a talented person, and we appreciate you. .

I deal with modding of a sort on a daily basis, at work. It goes like this:

'No, player Nametoonaughtyforthehsmsters, you can't have that name. It violates the End User Licence Agreement. There are kids on this site.'

' You think I'm evil.'

'No, buddy, I don't. I laughed my head off. The name is clever. But references to body parts are on the verboten list, sorry.'

'Oh. So you don't hate me?'

'Not at all. You are awesome. Let's come up with a G-rated name, shall we?'



I once yikesed myself. Some B*lg**n thought it was funny to sabotage a picture link to a plate of innocent-looking moussaka...what everybody else got was NOT moussaka...

They're still laughing about it over on that rpg.

hmm yuh ... thanks for balancing my balance ... heheheheheheh .. hmm ...

and moussaka has never been the same ... (yes ... we have veggie moussaka ... )



you know what?

I am suddenly having a massive artistic crisis ....

..OH NO .. NO NO NO .. NOT ALREADY .... ...

no wait ... hear me out ... .. its so amazing to have deep friends ... you know ...



by the way .. hullo B'Elana luvvy also ... if you are still checking in on this extraordinary and at times doomed but sometimes hopeful cafe ... ...although I know you are really busy on h2 ... In fact everyone is really busy on h2 doing interesting and worthwhile things .. except for me ... but hey .. I'm working on it ... .. I just got your message ..... and am thinking about lots of things that we talk about ...



OK ... the artistic crisis ... .. I just had this strange flash of a idea .. or a realisation or something .. you know .... I wonder if I might have worked through my pain and madness art-phase ... and maybe now it is my calling to concentrate on creating something lovely .. hmm ..inspiring .. of course what I call lovely or inspiring might not be what the next person calls inspiring or lovely but .... hmm ...



see .. these last few nights I've been thinking about the pain of the world .. .. and what I have been doing is lighting my candles in my marble garden...as a kind of meditation or something ... (my marble garden is a wide glass bowl full of about a hundred colored glass marbles .. into which I put tea-light candles in glass holders .. then I light the candles .. and everything goes all sparkly ... and reflective ... ) .... kind of beautiful .. like stained glass in a cathedral or something .. only home-made ... you know ... to look at on the coffee table .. while I am taking sherry with the Scotsman hmm

phew .. sorry .. watching Wimbledon at the same time here ... Andy Murray just got through .. Mrs Phred will be pleased .. I think .. although .. (actually my money is on Federer .. ) ...

anyway .. where was I ... yes! .. loveliness! ...

hmm .. well I'm not going to post all my mishy mashy notebook ramblings here tonight ... as I might drive myself crazy . oh no wait.. we don't say crazy .. ... we say ....I say .. you say ...

but you know what ... I only want to make things right .. that's the title of my favourite ever video .. its by Lemon Jelly .. that I wish I made .. and says it more than I will ever say ... if you have a moment ... if this link works ... this is how I feel ... there are all these magic colored spaceships and plants and skeletons and everything .. and this beautiful butterfly kind of flipping through it all .. singing ... ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN6SDzcA4O8

.... laters ....

...just slinking in for a minute or two tonight .. .... checking all is OK in TheCafe ...



I feel much renewed by all our various interactive variousnesses ... and am ever grateful to have friends who are deep and magic ....to put up with me ... .. especially when I am being crazy hazy magic tragic ... and a bit tangled spangled ...

and its all been good and TheCafe lurches on ...

and I am working on some quirky flippy trippy textural snippety meditation things .... kind of like my marbles only in words ...


tomorrow for that and all other everythings .. as the earnest and now-smiling spouse just cooked a stash of rice and chickpeas .... ..

... so I reckoned I was going to write all my snippety things from The Middle Way Cafe ..in my head of course .. .. like I thought that was very original ...not .. .. then checked Google ... there is a Middle Way Cafe .. in Anchorage Alaska ... !!! and now I wish that Phreddy and Mrs Phred could travel there to send us a postcard .. but I think I will have to learn to dream travel there myself ...



laters ..... ....

...... just painting some textures right now .. which is making me deeply happy ... hmm .. hah so that's alright then .. . .... strange juxtapositions of images ... and there is (yet) no narrative or explanation or anything recognisable whatsoever ... ... because I have to wait for the coffee to kick in .... ..

Dear Muse ... trade you a fragmented texture .. for knowledge .. and Missing Pieces .. and something stronger than de-caff ....hahahahaha



And somewhere between the dazzle of my own idiocy .... and the metallic wonderflash of passing cars .... I remember the warmglow of your laughter



And somewhere between my glimpse of absurd possibility ... and the ghosthowl of history ... I eat a cheese omelette in a roadside cafe



And somewhere between the wingflutter whirr of a thousand silhouette starlings ....and the giant shadowbirds that fly out of cracks in my memory .... I write a letter to the spirit of my grandmother and ask for her recipe for fever-cure and sweet cake .......



And somewhere between the choral floral scent of summer and this candleflicker lightplay ... I watch the changing textures reflecting in the jewel of friendship ...



And somewhere between the opening line and the final act .. I forget my words and my message ... so I go and weave a crown of question marks and daisies to wear around my hungry hopeful mind ...



*********************** rhythm change ...

and somewhere between all these thoughts on the train
and those journeys we made through the shivery rain
I remember our days in the buttercup dawn
all those pastoral moments when music was born

and somewhere between all our visions of bliss
I bandaged the wounds that surrounded our kiss
and .............

oh .... cakey flaky cakey flaky ..... life is tugging at my shirt .... RL is such a visitor from Porlock .. hmm ...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

pending ....... read and write e-mails to visionary friends ...

any gaps in my communication means that RL is tugging at my shirt .. its not that I have gone mad or that I am upset with anyone .. and have consequently fallen into the void .... taking with me nothing but a bag of donuts and a map of my inner moon ..

actually that sounds quite good .. the bag of donuts ... ... and the map of my inner moon .... ... but I can do that ... without falling into the void ... .. what is an inner-moon ?

hahahahahahaha .... I go I go I go

The not-doing of internal dialogue.

the not doing of internal dialogue .... the not doing of internal ....

the not doing of .... the ..... YES! ...

OK well mister you've defined it now for me in six words ... .... after all my years and fears and mountains of words and multiple chapters and re-arrangements of sense ... through which I yearn and toil in search of knowledge .. that knowledge .. that other story knowledge .. .... .... ... wink wink ... hmm ...



so I can go retire and watch TV ... Crosby Stills and Nash at Glastonbury Festival (amazing .. singing Marrakesh Express .. after all these years ... ) ... Neil Young was on the main stage last night ... ... ..Woodstock revisited .. .

Bruce Springsteen later ... ah yes ... I am waiting for Echo and the Bunnymen who are on tomorrow ... and the London Community Gospel Choir .. nice bit of balance .. know what I mean ... ....

.... hah! now where was I ...

ah yes .... I think its time to admit that the Muse of Meditation has finally found me .. this is my non-story! .. after a fifty year search .. (see first paragraph about yearning and toiling) ... so now I can go become an official flaky middle aged lady sitting at a desk of unpolished pine .. with orange butterfly ghosts in my hair ... ... considering the nature of Mind and Memory and Textures of Contemplation and Transience ... in slightly askew verses ....which too will fortunately pass ...... ...... ..


hmm .. 's'cuse me ... a few notes .. with dots to represent missing pieces and unfinished thoughts .. then have to go have supper ....



considering the heavens and hells and kingdoms of the mind ....and compassion and precious priceless things like joy and trust .. which haunt my heart .. hmm



Through pattern-dreams of precious gold
The wonders of the mind unfold
Such visions of intense delight.....
All in the land of inner-sight!.................

No thief can steal these riches fine
They do not rust or lose their shine
The treasures of my questing heart ......
No price upon this jewelled art! ........

Yet oftentimes in nightmare dread .....
A fearsome dream does fill my head ......
My mind is drowned in horror's blood ....
Which forms a deep and mighty flood ......

So vigilant I then must be ......
Lest fevered fears do conquer me .....
They are not prophecies or fate......
They are the awfulness of hate.......

Yet visions they do come and go .........
As transient as flakes of snow ..........
These mental kingdoms melt away .........
Impermanent as dark and day ...........

Yet what endures when mind is dust?......
The ghost of joy or seeds of trust?..........
I hope compassion leaves its kiss ..........
I'll risk it all to dream of this .............



and once again .. a fine edition of B'Elana and all .. how hard you guys all work ... amazing .. and thankyou ..



and over and out from Glastonbury Festival (on TV) .. CSN singing .. pom pom pom ... ...



pending ....... visit to the AWW ..... and e-mails ...

till then

..yay, Glastonbury.

Dream on, while we tell each other tales of outhouses and wonder why the Beeb is locking up all our other stuff in naughty-writer gaol...



...and feed them on your dreams...