h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey Tinkerbell, have you noticed we seem to be getting strange people dropping in to display their bewilderment at this thread?.. Do you know this person?..

Errr Hello excessively happy bloke

And in answer, no I've never met him before but I went to his page just now and not only is one of his favourite films Blade Runner *restrains her self from launching into another essay on eye symbolism and Deckard being a replicant* but he has a link to Bob Harris' web site and y'know what that means...Radio 2 So he's welcome here any time but we do seem to attract people in here, I think it must be because of that info page as we always seem to feature!

Hmmm, only four days this time and as for last week in my defence I was living in a tent which makes it quite hard to connect to the internet...admittedly that only accounts for three of the days but the rest of the time I was probably shopping, sleeping, sunbathing or just 'out'.I was actually going to attempt to reply to this message on the same day you posted it but then I got accosted and err...dragged... to the pub But the thought was there!

My trousers did actually flame but as I have quite quick reactions my friend put them out quite quickly And it wasn't the marshmallow itself which ignited them it was the flame from the marshmallow which was blown onto them by mistake...still it provided amusement. As for the French boys that wasn't entirely my fault...well it was but my mate did A-Level French so you'd have thought she'd have noticed! Y'see we were so impressed by the fact that we'd managed to attract these two blokes despite the fact that we'd been living in a tent for three days that we weren't actually concentrating very much so we never noticed their slight accent...and then there was a pub round the corner and then we were watching the stars and one of them appeared and sort of muttered something sounding like 'Shhehejshshfhrsheepoehfogbororngwll'and smiled so I smiled back before me and my mate collapsed in hysterics. He then shuffled off grinning to himself and we just assumed they were very drunk, Sadly the next morning they said "Au revoir" as they left in their french number plated left hand drive car and we realised that they were in fact French...but it was an easy mistake to make and I'm sure we didn't offend them too much

I did already have a tan but that was about a month ago and so now I have an even deeper tan and even my legs have finally gone brown so despite the fact that my mate insists I must have used fake tan I'm quite impressed and he's just jealous because he doesn't have a tan. Either interestingly or worryingly depending on how you look at it, your jealousy inspiring attempts haven't worked in the slightest. For some strange reason (which does concern me as we're talking about a Lotus here ) I would much sooner have been lying at the side of a river with some of my mates than driving round in a lovely convertible Lotus...even with the living in a tent part and the white van men and the novelty value food and everything...Honestly this is very worrying, first the mornings and now this

Hmm, the reading obviously helps with the tan as it's the only thing that'll keep me still for any given length of time, if I hadn't been lying by the river reading then I would have spent a lot more time actually in the river splashing about. So this is a good thing as having attempted to swim in the river I did assess that the water was far too cold. Clearly the ice-cream is an aid to the tanning process as you can't eat ice-cream indoors so you have to eat it outside in the glare off the sun...and you can't eat it in the shade under a tree at the side of a road as you get beeped by white van men so you have to move somewhere else where there are no roads and just much sunshine. The chocolate helps with the tan as in order to eat the chocolate you have to first walk somewhere to buy the chocolate and as the only shop was about a mile away from where we were tenting then we had to walk in the sun. As for the marshmallows now you're just being silly as everyone knows you only eat marshmallows at night

I wasn't wrong about the lyrics, I think you'll find that I had the correct lyrics but the original song had the wrong ones

You didn't even miss your mates from school? Not even a tiny bit? I mean I know I'll keep in touch with them all but it's not going to be the same as I was quite lucky to get on with everyone in our sixth form so I had loads of mates but now they're scattered all over the country so we'll hardly ever get to go out as a huge group...I think last time we went out in Sheffield we filled about half the club as there were about 50 of us and that's not going to happen again til Christmas now...well it'll happen again just before everyone goes but after that...
*turns the CD up really loud and sings along at a ridiculously high volume*

Ooh hang on it's time for 'The Weakest Link'... .must leave, best programme on TV ever, Anne Robinson in evil witch mode...

Hehehehehe, so funny *gets distracted by a watermelon she just found in the fridge* Mmmm, watermelon

*giggles at the thought of her father being a catholic priest* Sadly not as that would be quite funny...

tB tebretni seod yllautca mees ot eb gnikrow etiuq ylippah, yadretsey ti deyats detcennoc ta a hgih deeps rof 5 sruoh!!! revewoH, m'I llits ton decnivnoc sa I t'nevah detcennoc yadot os ti yam tsuj evah neeb a ekulf tub enoemos esle dias ti t'ndid krow rof meht dna re'yeht no tB tenretni oot os I yam evah dnuof eht sellihca leeh fo tB dna detaefed eht lieve tB enaJ

The cow stole my sunglasses using it's skill, cunning and ingenuity but most of all it's evilness as it knew that my sunglasses have a habit of getting themselves lost and the fact that I'd managed to have the same pair for at least 8 months was seeminlgy too much of a temptaion for their sadistic minds. Sadly this just reinforced my mates laughter as It's a running joke with my mates that every year we have to have a shopping expedition to buy me some new sunglasses as I've never been able to keep a pair for longer than...well 8 months now

And whether or not you called the spider a bystander or a victim you still used the word 'innocent' and thus I am forced to carefully analyse the possibility that you are no-longer to be trusted as you're obviously planning to join forces with the cows (cows and spiders are very close) in order to complete your plan of world domination

What do you mean run out of clothes? *recalls how yesterday was spent building a shelving unit, further recalls how she was wearing a suit to build said shelving unit* Oh... Anyway the suitcase is now empty although the rucksack is still packed but in my defence for that I do have every intention of running off again next week if it even shows the remotest possibility of sun or at least not rain. My room is also vaguely tidy (bear in mind that this is in comparison to how it is normally not to other peoples tidyness) now so I'm thinking of logging a progress report to see how trashy it gets and how quickly and that way I can work out what the problem is, verify that it is the aardvarks and then move into a different room...

*giggles at the concept of having spent last week hill walking* Walking yes, hills no. We strategically managed to pick an area which would allow us to wander around valleys and avoid anything vaguely reminiscent of a hill so I don't think I can use hill walking as an excuse for my early mornings. However, I stayed up until 4am the other day and so as such I have returned to my normal sleeping pattern although I was up at 10am today so the situation is still quite worrying

As for the death penalty thing I definitely think that it's a bit harsh. Besides if we evolve to miss the mornings then we'd never know that we were supposed to be awake during them and that way all the fun would be taken out of missing them.

*thinks ooh Tragedy's on, sits doing Tragedy dance "TRAGEDY!!! When the feelings gone and you can't go on it's TRAGEDY!!! When the mornings rise and you don't know why, it's hard to bear with no-one to love you, you're going no-where it's TRAGEDY!!! When you loose control and you got no soul and the mornings rise and you don't know why, with no-on beside you you're going no-where it's TRAGEDY!!!" continues with the well rehearsed dance steps*

Ahem... Really should stop listening to this CD now...Luckily you've already missed Britney but the Venga Boys are here* "Eeeyore Eeyore, A whale, A whale, Eeyore, Eeyore, A whale, A whale"*

Sorry, I have regained control now as Sclub5 are on so my cheerful mood has slumped

I've never seen the Rosencrantz thing I was just reciting what it said in the reviews and critics tend not to be too complimentary unless the film involves at least one moment of epiphany and revelation and either Robin Williams, Jack Nicholson or Tom Hanks. I think their main comment was that the parts that were funny were good but they were too blatantly funny where as the rest just sort of slipped into dull monotony and they didn't feel the balance was right.

As for the Kevin bacon theory I knew what you meant which is why I was impressed as my mates normally need much persuading before they'll believe me that it's possible. However, I was quite sure that it was five steps within which he could be reached but if you say it's 7 then I guess that makes it easier. Hmmm so you can get to Bacon in four steps...I'm so sure I should be able to beat that *thinks* I can get to Rodgers and Hammerstein in 1? Errr, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall in 3? Charles Grayson in 2? Must be able to do this... I can get to Bagpuss in 2 which is surely cooler? Oooh bugger, I'll have to resort to the "I met Richard Burns" thing as a decoy and get back to you as with my family I'm sure I must be able to do this

Hmm...I never said it definitely applied to all scientists...and I've only ever met physicists...I think... err, I guess the F1 drivers could count as scientists and some of them are attractive...maybe I've just not met many good scientists...errr
*starts flinging mud from her nicely dug hole* err...

The Flossy fleeceyness is actually really moving as George Elliot seems to be quite an emotive writer...there's still nothing of interest that's happened and I'm on the second book now but I'm sure they'll be some explosions and car chases soon

So you're a scientist and you don't approve of the gene patenting either then, that's reassuring to know. There just seems to be something intrinsically wrong with claiming something natural as a man made invention or discovery...I mean before long they'll get the nobel prize and then one of them will be kidnapped by their eveil twin who then takes their place and selectively kills off everyone who knows about his brother but then the very attractive literature winner who happens to be a secret detective will find out and keep almost being murdered before eventually he finds out the truth and tracks down the evil twin, releases the right scientist and then kills the eveil twin only to realise that it isn't the eveil twin at all but a mere imposter who was hired to con the eveil twins daughter into helping them...*wonders if that could possibly have been a Paul Newman film she watched earlier blurring with reality*...hmmm.

*sits giggling* hehehehehe, you said bongo *rolls about in immature laughter* sorry...it's just such a good word though isn't it? *sits singing bongo, bongo and giggling to herself*

I should introduce you to that bloke I was telling you about as in terms of science mostly being based on assumptions rather than proof (I think that's what you were agreeing with) then you seem to have fairly similar points to me and he spent a good few weeks arguing about this. I think it was when we were talking about the unanswerable questions it kinda led on from there to me talking about how scientists tend to make all these assumptions which are presented to a mass audience as fact. In general terms the public then tends to just accept this without challenging as there seems to be an inbuilt belief that scientists must be right. I reckon it's something to do with all the highly complex text books and laws and the mathematical edge to it which kind of puts it on a pedastal, inaccessable to all those but the most intelligent so we never actually doubt what the scientists tell us.

Much of the material I studied for media was printed with the sole aim of being taken seriously as a scientific subject in order to remove the preconceived idea that media is just watching films and any fool could do it (although for the most part I think this is quite true ). As an affect of this the text books were often so complex that they were literally unusable as the authors had been so obsessed with being respected as scientists that they ignored the main purpose of their work. This was what happened with Colonel Yerkes study as well, as the sole aim of that was to get psychology taken seriously as a scientific study and you just have to look at the results of that to see how damaging that was.

But then sometimes the scientific fact is challenged by another scientist who we then automatically believe and this is where the problems with genetics comes in. On one side we are constantly being told the facts that genetic engineering is this marvellous invention and as the vast majority of people can't understand it then that's taken as the truth, but then on the other side there's opposing scientists who are saying that there's distinct danger in genetic tampering and it's wrong. Sadly as these scientists appear after the original fact has been released no matter how much more likely their findings are they seem to be taken less seriously.

What makes this worse is that some pure scientitsts seem to have this pre built disposition that they are always and will always be right. Admittedly I'm taking this from a primary sample of about five but that seems fair enough. A side effect of this is that the scientists making these great discoveries tend not to stop and think about the effect their discoveries will have on humanity in general as they're too busy trying to get one up on their colleagues and fellow scientists in order to be hailed as a genius in the public eye. The main cliche to this is obviously nuclear energy, from my own admittedly biased view, I see that the scientists never stopped to think about the disasterous effects of their discovery as they were so excited that they'd made this discovery and had to get it presented to the public before anyone else did. Maybe if they'd stopped to think about the long term effect on humanity they would have reacted to their discovery very differently.

*realises she's gone completely off the subject and is now rambling in a foolish fashion*

Ahem...So caffeine has the same effects as cocaine? hmmm *regains dubious face* They couldn't put cocaine in a childrens drink, that's absurd...although it does add a whole new slant to the American Dream ideology Of course if everyone was forced to drink the caffiene free diet water version of coca cola then they wouldn't be so impressed...actually I think that when we rule the world this should be enforced as the official drink *grins in an eveil world ruler type fashion* along with caffiene free tea which is equally water like...or maybe that could just be the punishment for those found awake at unearthly hours of the morning?

Hmmm, indices, that's mathematical too isn't it? Hardly a basis of reason and logic so I definitely think Loti is the best plural or possibly Lotust like Locust. Actually something more amusing is the word Lo'tus-eater which is used for an indolent person who enjoys the luxuries in life so maybe we could start off a theory that that's where it originates from It wouldn't be for the Lots Of Trouble thing as that's just fairly sad and no great car designer would stoop so low

By the way whilst I'm on the subject of Lotus design what do you think of the new VX220? I'm still not sure as from the outside it looks really Lotus like so obviously it has really smooth lines and curves but the inside looks too sparse, as if it were a kit car with all luxuries removed for racing or something like that...

At a guess you've never been to Silverstone You seriously think you'd prefer it to Monaco? Silverstone under it's ten foot of mud, field surroundings and excess traffic jams every year, it's bankings consisting of gravel and dust, the grandstands consisting of plastic seats which even schools would be ashamed of using and facilities which would be better if they were porta-loos (unless you go into the paddock toilets like I did last year, now they were good )? Hmmmm...
I think Kirsty loved Monaco because it was Monaco. From the phone calls I got from the place this year the atmosphere is amazing although I think that could just be over a Grand prix week...and possibly because one of the times they were stood about as close to the tunnel as you can get and the noise of the engines was awe-inspiring...and another time they were with Eddies parents so maybe that adds some slight bias as well And as for Spa, one of my mates went last year and said that the track days were brilliant but the rest of the time it rained and there was very little to do, although a couple of people I know went last week so when I've spoken to them I'll tell you whether that's a good choice or not

I wasn't expecting you to have been convinced about the TVR I guess my wording was quite bad, I was just applauding whoever it was that had taken on the task of attempting to persuade you

I'm quite disappointed about my backwards typing as it's really quite fun...however, it does have it's drawbacks as I keep randomly typing backwards if I'm not concentrating

Why's it taken you so long to be bored of Hakkinen? I think my first moment of boredom/annoyance was Melbourne 1998 as it should of been DC's race and I reckon had he have taken it then things might have all worked out differently...especially as Schumi would have had enough points to win and I wouldn't have had to spend most of Novemeber sobbing over Schumis stalled start and then the puncture and then how he shook Mika's hand at the end and then...*recalls the whole event and starts sobbing again* And then last year the title was stolen from Irv *sobs more* and in 96 that should have been Villeneuves title...*trails off into low whines about the unfairness of it all*

As for the rabbit it bit me, I shouted rabbit pie and then it ran off to the corner of it's run, I then attempted to lure it out with rabbity treats but the stupid thing bit me again, I dropped the treats it munched them all and then ran off and hid once more. I was there for an hour and every time I tried to get it out of the run it bit me again. In the end I had to ring someone to come and assist me and obviously it was an angelic rabbit for them so they wanted to know why I was so cross with it. But let the world know that if anyone ever wants me to look after their rabbit for them again then well...I won't...

Anyway I'd better post this before I'm pre-empted by some random person, I will reply quicker next time honest...unless I'm in a tent/Bed and Breakfast again in which case I'll tell you first

er hi, thanks for visiting me. RE: VX220, a sports car should be sparse, if you need the luxeries it ain't a sports car its a posing car.

You read all that? Wow
But the VX220 is designed as a road car for people who want a high performance sports car but can't afford things like Ferraris. Surely if you want a minimalist car which has an interior of mostly exposed metal then you should be getting a track car rather than a Vauxhall. I guess as it's designed by Lotus and looks like a Lotus they had to make the interior significantly different but I just think it's too empty and from a design point of view doesn't match the smoothness of the outside

If you want an MX5 that's cool but for some drivers perfomance is the ultamate thang. All that exsposed metal is highly stressed structal stuff & looks way cool. (What do I know? I drive a diesel).

This thread is often in the top tens, although I think it wasn't when HappyDude first started posting, so maybe it's just infamous now.

Anyway, you're not actually obliged to reply to this thread at the very earliest opportunity. So I wasn't planning to hold the time between replies against you! Although of course since I know you own both a laptop and a mobile phone, being in a tent is actually no excuse for not getting on the internet.

If your transcription of what the French guy said is accurate, you could easily have drawn the conclusion that he was Welsh. Not only a vast number of incomprehensible sybillants in one burst, but it also contained the word 'sheep'.

"You can't eat ice-cream indoors". *looks down at bowl of Ben & Jerries* Are you sure? Seems to work when I try it!

Did I tell you about my punting trip? A friend had a birthday recently and she decided she wanted to punt (or, more accurately, be punted) from Cambridge to Grantchester (about a 3.5 hour round trip). We started the day at lunch time in her local pub, all feeling somewhat the worse for wear (we elected to make the entire bank holiday weekend a birthday celebration, so we'd all been out the night before), and had gradually been putting off the trip since the weather was a bit crummy, but at about 4:30 we finally made it to the river. (Actually the pub was on the river too, but a different bit, not one you can rent punts for). I felt quite sorry for the staff at the punt place - they clearly had no customers and were plaintively trying to interest us in a punt, and were somewhat shocked when we said yes... The people manning the actual mini dock looked at us as though we were mad when we climbed aboard this punt with the rain pouring down...

In fact the weather cleared up after about 30 minutes, and it was a gorgeous evening and we had a great time. The reason I mention it is that I was reminded by you talking about swimming in the river. The problem with punting to Grantchester is that it doesn't have any real moorings, and you just have to bump the punt up against the bank and jump for it. Unfortunately one of my friends had come out in less than ideal shoes - relatively smart ones with leather soles, which provided very little grip on the top of a punt. He also unfortunately aimed at a bit of bank that was less solid than it looked, and fell straight into the Cam... It isn't very deep, so he didn't get all that soaked - only up to his waist. In order to try and dry out a little faster he took his trousers off and hung them on a nearbye tree whilst a few of us went to the pub to stock up on bottles of beer and wine. (We had rather underestimated just how much it's possible to drink while punting...) Apparently he got some spectacular double takes from locals out walking their dog, who said a friendly 'Hello' before realising they were addressing two blokes, one of whom was wearing no trousers.

On the plus side there was no danger of his trousers catching fire due to flames escaping from a marshmallow.

I don't miss my mates from school because I keep up with most of the ones I liked - I see them pretty regularly. Unfortunately I didn't like most of the people I was at school with. Now possibly this just means I'm antisocial but I've since heard from other people who went to other schools in my area that my school had a bit of a reputation for turning out complete tossers... Not quite sure what that says about me though.

'The Weakest Link'? Never heard of it. What's that then?

Watermelon? Strangely I was having a conversation about those in a bar on Friday. (With some friends from school as it happens...) We were reminiscing about how there was a lot of fuss about 'video nasties' when we were at school. Does this phrase mean anything to you? VCRs went from being obscure and expensive bits of technical kit to being consumer electronics when I was at school, and the whole rental industy video burgeoned at that time. There were big scares about gory videos being available to children, and there was enough of a fuss that the first modification to the censorship laws for several decades was made. We were talking about how massively dull the films that were being talked about were, and how you didn't really get much explicit violence compared to your average 15 certificate film these days - a 'classic' was the Texas Chainstore Massacre, which I've not seen but I'm told most of the violence consisted of someone being dragged through a doorway, and then some splurts of blood being thrown in from off camera... But the other one was 'Scanners', famous for having pictures of peoples heads exploding. The way this effect was achieved was to put explosive charges inside watermelons with fake faces more or less painted on... The thing is that you could see the seeds when these things exploded...

Who is BT Jane? And why is she 'eveil'?

So you're saying you were defeated by the skill, cunning and ingenuity of a cow? Hmm... Anyway, 8 months isn't bad for keeping a pair of sunglasses - I don't think I usually manage any better. I would just claim that you can't possibly keep them longer than that because they go out of fashion.

I used the word 'innocent' having first scoped it very narrowly, so I think you're being unfair.

Logging the progress of your room's untidyness seems like a good idea. In fact anything's better than actually tidying it. First cows, then spiders and now aardvarks? Do you have an entire menagerie pitted against you?

I actually quite like going up hills. It's coming down them I dislike. Never quite understood that, but I seem to find it harder work! Waking up at 10am is just about acceptable. (I'm going here on the wholly objective measure that I occasionally wake up at about 10 of my own accord...)

So, which version of Tragedy? BGs or Steps? *raises hands to cheeks*

Sclub5? At least you have *some* standards!

I suspect that part of the thing with Rosencrantz et al is that it probably depends on how well you know Hamlet. It got a lot better when I watched it a second time after having just watched Brannagh's impressively large Hamlet. (Ooer.) But having watched it in a room with several people it's also apparent that the humour just isn't to everyone's taste.

Maybe it is 5 steps - someone recently said to me that he thought it was supposed to be 7 steps to *anyone*. How do you get to Bagpuss in two? You knew Rodgers and Hammerstein, or you've just been in something by them? Actually the Richard Burns thing might get you there quicker, or more likely the Jenson Button thing... Stephen Fry's an F1 fan, and is sufficiently well known to get to wander the pit lane on race days just before the race starts, so he's probably met Button, so this puts you on level pegging with me, since my Bacon degree involves knowing someone who knows Stephen Fry too. However there are so many actors to be seen wandering around the pit lane that there's a good chance you can probably get to Kevin Bacon more directly than I can that way!

F1 drivers as scientists? Perhaps some of them are, but I suspect you no more need to be a scientist or engineer to be a good F1 driver than you need to have a degree in accoustics to be a musician... Of course an understanding of some of the principals will help though, and I'm sure the best of the drivers have a pretty thorough understanding of how a car works (because the best drivers usually put a lot into getting the right setup for each track), but it's an extremely unusual race driver these days who would actually know how to design a car. (Was different 50 years ago - most of the team owners were also drivers... This is how Lotus started out.)

So do you think George Elliot is into chromaflair TVRs then?

I'm only tenuously a scientist. I did a degree in a subject with the word 'Science' in it (although my degree certificates say 'Bachelor of Arts' and 'Master of Arts'), but it was really a kind of mix of science, maths and engineering. And what I do these days certainly isn't science - it's somewhere between black art and engineering. However I follow scientific news carefully and with interest, and definitely think the gene patenting thing is twisted. But I look forward to the Nobel prize scandal panning out according to your prophesy.

Bongo eh? Ever drunk Um Bongo? I couldn't believe it when they started running those adverts again - must be over a decade and a half since they first released that somewhat dubious drink.

I do indeed agree that science is based mostly on assumption. I'd be careful of the word 'proof' because scientists tend to presume ownership of this word, so claiming that science isn't based on proof is unlikely to find many scientists agreeing with you... For my money 'proof' is simply anything that convinces someone else of something; most branches of science and maths have certain formal ways of structuring proofs, but at the end of the day they are about nothing more than trying to convince someone that something is true. But I think a lot of scientists get too tied up in the formidible formalities. But anyway, I agree with what you're saying - there is too much blind faith in science, both from scientists and from lay people. Certainly the mystique generated by the unapproachable obscurantism of the language and methodologies helps perserve this (although there's evidently a craving in the population for this kind of thing - people lap it up today with science just as they used to from the church). But you also can't ignore the power of demonstrations of technology. I guess we're slightly too young to have been wowed by 'space age' stuff (even I was born after the last time men walked on the moon), but there are plenty of people around today who saw science achieve things in their lifetime that they would never have thought possible, and even though there's not really been anything since on quite such a public scale as the moon shots, technology has become pervasive, and we are all permanently surrounded by reminders of how successful scientific theories have been, despite their philosophically shaky foundations.

My house mate Una, who is doing a sociology PhD, but also has an interest in media studies (as well as having a history degree and a psychology & statistics degree) rather dislikes the pseudo-scientific patina that so many academics in both sociology and media studies seem to feel is required. And it's not particularly due to a dislike of science or maths - having done all 'arts' subjects at school and university, she discovered that she really liked maths after all when doing the stats part of her psychology & statistics course. In fact it's this that makes her particularly dislike the attempts to sound scientific. One of the things I really like about her work is that she very carefully avoids pompous use of the trappings of science, or indeed much of the jargon of her own subject areas. It takes a certain degree of courage to do this as when it's clear what you actually mean, it's easy for people to tell whether you're talking crap or not. Fortunately she's unbelievably bright, and generally has interesting stuff to say. But I suspect that a lot of the wannabe science-like cruft surrounding a lot of writing in newish subjects is there precisely because the authors don't in fact have that much to say, and wish to hide this fact.

I have a real problem with the phrase 'scientific fact'. I don't think it means anything - we have 'scientific conjecture to which we have not yet found a counterexample', but I don't believe there's anything stronger than that. My take on the possible intrinsic dangers of genetic engineering (ignoring the sanity of patents or the morality of the social consequences) is that it's a fascinating area of science right now, which means that nobody has the faintest idea of what to expect, and that bold, generalising statements along the lines of "It's perfectly safe" or "It's not safe" have even less basis in reality than most scientific pronouncements, and amount to nothing more than expression of gut feeling. (Actually gut feeling is probably the major driving force behind scientific advance - most major theories came out of barely-rational belief in how things *should* work; the one thing you can say about scientific is that it does give you a fairly reliable way of weeding out the theories which are manifestly at odds with how the universe actually behaves, regardless of how strongly someone might feel about it.) The only way we'll resolve this issue is when years and years of research have gone by - either something will go terribly wrong, in which case we'll know for certain that it's unsafe, or we'll have been doing it for years with no ill consequences, in which case we'll feel reasonably confident in declaring it safe. There are precedents for both outcomes - nobody realised that radioactivity was quite so hazardous in the early days, which is why all the scientists who worked in that area (even as late in the day as when the first atomic bomb was being designed) died of cancer sooner or later; conversely for every advance in high energy experimental physics (e.g. splitting the atom, splitting sub-atomic particles, creating antimatter etc.) there have been a bunch of people convinced that what we're doing will bring about the end of the universe, and so far they've been proven wrong at every turn.

My own gut feeling is that genetic modification isn't that likely to be especially harmful per se. (I just worry about (a) the inevitable mistakes in early attempts to apply the techniques to humans, and (b) the social consequences of its successful application to humans.) The main reason I have for thinking that it isn't likely to cause the end of life as we know it is the same reason I think that high energy physics experiments aren't very dangerous in practice either: we aren't doing anything in the lab that hasn't already occurred in nature millions if not billions of times before - the physics experiments are as nothing to what happens in the hearts of stars, pulsars, quasars and so on, and likewise the hacking about with genetic material is not deeply different to the scrambling that goes on in various ways in nature.

To put it another way, I think people have raised their hands in protest that the boundaries of science are surely pushing too far throughout history, and that the world would be a worse place if the scientists had listened... That said, scientists should not remain oblivious to the possible consequences of their work; I think any scientist who wants to work in genetics should be made to read Frankenstein first.

On nuclear power, actually most of the original work was *entirely* focused on its destructive effects: the atomic bomb was the first application of atomic power. Nuclear power stations were very much an afterthought, mostly pioneered by scientists who felt the need to atone for having invented the atomic bomb, and wanted to try and find a more constructive application of their work. To be fair to the people involved in the Manhattan project, most of them believed that if they didn't develop the bomb first, then Hitler would, and the war would be lost as a consequence. If you have already bought into the idea that the war was worth fighting (and I think there was a strong moral case for fighting the Nazis) then I believe that the people working on the project could have gone in there with full awareness of what they were doing, and believing that it was the right thing to do. (A lot of them had second thoughts after the bomb was dropped of course.)

Well I don't think cocaine and caffeine have quite the same effect (although I've not had any personal experience of cocaine). They're both stimulants... But all I was saying is that caffeine was put in to replace the cocaine; I'm pretty sure the drink wasn't quite the same afterwards. But the cocaine thing is definitely true - Coke wasn't originally sold as a children's drink - in fact it was positioned very much as Red Bull is these days - liquid stimulation for body and mind. (Also as a hangover cure, although I think Irn Bru has that market sold up these days.) Actually the only cola I buy these days tends to be caffeine free diet Virgin cola. I quite like it. Bizarrely I've always preferred diet drinks to non-diet versions - I find I get a worse aftertaste with the non-diet drinks...

There's nothing especially mathematical about the term 'indices' - it's just the plural of 'index'. However it's possible that the Latin version of the plural has stuck in mathematical terminology whereas the anglicised 'indexes' is become more popular elsewhere. (Also it's quite possible that you're just more likely to come across multiple indices/indexes in mathematics than in most walks of life.) I suspect the Lots Of Trouble version of Lotus was a rumour started mischievously by Colin Chapman in order to mislead people...

What do I think of the VX220? Actually I was briefly tempted by the idea of trading my Elise for one, since it's basically the same car, only with a more powerful engine, more development work done to get rid of some of the minor irritations of the Elise and a better designed roof... However I've now rejected the idea for various reasons. It's heavier because of various extra creature comforts (it's actually less sparse than the Elise on the inside!) so despite the bigger engine it's not quite as fast at road legal speeds. It would feel less out of breath at high track speeds, but it'll be less nimble because of the extra weight, so I'd be better off getting some tuning work done on my Elise. And the crits I've read all say that it's a very good driver's car, and whilst in some respects it's better than the Elise (more refined ride, less frightening handling on the limit), it's at the cost of entertainment value - fun though the VX220 may be, if you're really into the extreme fun of getting 100% involvement with the car in exchange for total commitment as you pitch into a corner on the track, then the Elise beats the VX220 every time.

So since the Elise turned out to be exact the kind of car I wanted, I think the VX220 would be a bit of a disappointment in comparison, good though I'm sure it is. (Given that I'm considering eschewing the comparative luxury of the Elise in exchange for the latest Caterham 7 with the ludicrous bike engine in it at some point in the future, it should be fairly obvious that I like my performance cars to be pretty raw...) The other thing is...it's a Vauxhall. Now I know that Lotus did all the dynamic work on it, and consequently it's not a Cavalier, nonetheless it suffers from stigma, but more importantly, the interior has apparently been botched. Vauxhall attempted to tart it up a bit, but it's basically a combination of the exposed aluminium that the Elise has (which I rather like) plus some Vauxhall switchgear (which I don't particularly like; having said that the Elise rather unfortunately has the same indicator stalks as the Cavalier, but fortunately it's not all that obvious unless you happen to have driven both) which has had some brushed alumnium knobs stuck onto it. The result really doesn't work at all. I would rather have the bare minimum as you get in the Elise. (Although its heater controls do suffer from looking like a 1970s throwback - that and the Cavalier switchgear are the only bits I'd want to change on the Elise... Plus the window winders, but I already changed them.)

I've been to Silverstone a few times, but never for an F1 race... I've found it entirely unobjectionable under these circumstances. When I went to Monaco it was also not F1 time, but it was mostly unpleasant. I'm glad I went, but mostly only because I can say I've been there. And I think that's precisely the problem with it - it's a place you go so that you've been there; actually being there is not an especially edifying experience. It's like the time I nearly got myself killed in Turkey - I've had absolutely fantastic mileage from the resultant anecdote, but at the time I'd much rather have been somewhere else. Having said that, possibly the only thing that might tempt me back would be the prospect of being there for the F1 weekend. Again, it's not because I expect it would be particularly fun, but just because I'm curious to experience the famous atmosphere. But I think my expectations are similar to what I expect from boxing matches - I hate boxing, but I've found myself effectively trapped in pubs when massively hyped fights have been shown on TV on a couple of occasions, and whilst it's basically unpleasant, there's no denying that the atmosphere on such occasions is quite phenomenal.

I've been to Spa, but only the town and not the track... Largely because I crashed my Elise at the Nurburgring the previous day, and rather than driving around the public bits of the track as planned, I had to get myself to Brussels and thence home on the Eurostar. (Or did I already mention that. I'm working offline now, and failed to get my original message back on the screen before doing so. Sorry if I'm being repetitive here...)

Having had further conversations about the TVR thing with various people, I think the problem I have with them is that I don't think I'm quite old enough yet. In my mind, a TVR is something I'll buy when I no longer have the energy or enthusiasm to cope with the Elise... Although at that point I may as well buy a Jag. (Or depending on how much money I have, an Aston Martin...)

Well I was bored of Hakkinen before to be honest, but in a sort of 'not really interested' kind of a way. Now I find him intrusively, even offensively boring.

Where did this rabbit come from exactly? Does it belong to some neighbours on holiday or something?

Of course the frightening thing would be if someone actually bothered to read the *entire* thread.

Hi Ian
*debates whether to return to the subject of Pingu's but decides against it*

Sorry it's taking me so long to reply but...

*hands over a bar an imaginary bar of Dark Belgian Chocolate to act as a distraction through the list of feeble excuses*

...I've just started new courses and stuff so that's taking up loads of time... and I'm currently interviewing so I get to spend my time living in the Peak District mending sheep and looking after drystone walls (could be the other way round we can not be sure)...and my best mates are all wombling off to uni so much time has been spent having celebratory (I think that's the wrong word there) nights/days out...and now I have flu which is not helping...especially as I am currently writing many essays and statements for Cambridge and UCAS...and I'm becoming an expert on Irish literature...and I'm being forced to drive to ridiculously far away places in an attempt to convince people that I can drive to Shropshire easily...and err...that's not even including the escaped cow and the jam spillage which blocked off the whole of my area for about 6 hours as it was thought to be toxic waste...

On the bright side whilst I wasn't quite at my best yesterday the BT Jane woman rang me up and tried to sell me further attachments for tB tenretni to which I was being very polite but then she made the fundamental error of asking how satisfied I was with the service...half an hour later I let her off the phone having voiced my opinions on tB tenretni to a very bewildered salesperson, which did make me feel better

Anyway once everything is back to normalish I shall return with a ridiculously long message as by that time I'll be able 'discuss' many of bt's new services

Bye

Wotcha!

*also steers clear of mentioning Pingu - seems simplest in the long run*

I too apologise for my slow reply - I've been teaching in Windsor all week. It was one of the more intensive courses - official running hours are 9am-9pm every day for the week except today. (We finished at about 5:30pm today...) In practice though I've been getting to bed some time after midnight every night. Last night I gather I didn't make it to my room until about 3:30am! I have no idea actually - we all went to a pub then returned to the hotel bar, where someone insisted that I demonstrate the drink I'd mentioned earlier (Drambuie Flamer), and things went into a bit of a decline after that. Plus I insist on making sure that the last person to leave the bar is always one of the instructors (i.e. me)... Didn't quite make it in on time this morning. (Just as well there were 3 instructors on the course really!) I only made it in before 10am because a maid came in to service my room and woke me up!

I'm also likely to be out of contact next week - I'm teaching again. In Krakow as it happens. Flying out there on Sunday afternoon. I have no idea whether I'll have internet access at all, and I probably won't have much free time even if I do, so I've pretty much written off any liklihood of being on h2g2 for this fortnight! (I just finished clearing a 400 email backlog that had built up over the last couple of days!)

Mmm! Chocolate!

What are the courses you're doing? Presumably this is something to do with fixing the cock-up your school made with your A-levels that confounded your Cambridge application last year?

Why is it important to prove that you can drive to Shropshire easily? I'm confused.

Escaped cow and jam spillage? Why was someone transporting cow and jam around in the first place? Some people are just strange.

It must be satisfying to get back at BT. The best I've managed is that I once got to bill them about £500 for doing a couple of evening's work. At the time this was more than I had personally ever paid to BT for telephone bills. (Wasn't long out of university at that point.) Sadly this is no longer true, so clearly I need to do something to redress the balance.

Have fun with the dry sheep walls. Get well soon.

Hiya,
*waves enthusiastically or some close approximation of the word*
You still there?
Hiya!
You've been teaching a course from 9am til 9pm? That's absurd...9am I ask you I thought I had it bad as I've spent all this week on one of the most horrendous/wonderful (is that possible?) courses I've ever been on and have fallen asleep as soon as I got in at 5pm and then woken up somewhat later to spend the entire night awake before having to get up at 7am!!! 7am, I mean the course was stressful enough but making me get up at 7am was just wrong

You're going to Krakow?
*wonders why she keeps repeating everything you said then wonders if it's possible to be paid as a pantomime parrot*
Wow, that'll be interesting...cold but interesting Have you ever been there before? Most impressed

The courses I'm randomly attending are A-level English Lit which is just pants as the course I did last year covers all the same theory but we just read 8 books this year instead of last years 4 so it's quite dull...still the teacher managed to thoroughly embarrass me after I wandered in late because I couldn't find the room, by suggesting that I taught the course seen as how I got an A last year and what was I doing there when clearly I knew more than him, so that was a great way to make me feel at ease Err, I'm verging on whining now so moving on, I'm also doing an A-Level in sociology which actually is fascinating and the teachers really cool so that's fun. Also doing a thingy on computers or office skills using computers or something which proves that I can actually do something useful with them other than e-mail people
*gets excited*
Ooooh yes, I remembered something fun, I've been e-mailing one of the admission tutors at Sidney (see, I've now progressed on from bribary ) and have found out that last year I was one place off of being let in and that was muchly to do with the course I'd done. They said that they were delighted that I was reapplying as I was an excellent candidate and the reading and course can only make me even stronger

The neccessity to drive to Shropshire comes from the fact that I've been invited to go away for the weekend to some F1 friends in order to watch the final GP of the season. However, my dad is withholding the car but that's another whine so I'll ignore it... anyway I have to persuade him that I can cope with driving there and then I'll be able to go as otherwise I won't be able to get there and stuff

And finally before you go offline again, the cow escaped from a farm just over there...
*points randomly at the window*
and was being chased and pursued but could not be caught, there was then an article asking for information about the missing 100lb cow which was described as not being dangerous but which should be approached with caution

The jam was entirely different but much funnier as my friend and I came back from Sheffield one night and the whole of his village was blocked off with police, fire, ambulances and the like everywhere. This lasted about 2-3 hours with people shouting get inside your homes through speakers on helicopters and stuff. We were told it was a toxic spillage from a nearby chemical factory and the whole village was too dangerous to enter. They sent in specialist chemical type people in order to take samples before anyone else was allowed through. This cost many, many thousands of pounds in total and held up the traffic in Sheffield for hours. Finally the results came back to say that it was actually a food stuff which was diagnosed as strawberry jam The whole concept of this just had me in hysterics for hours, maybe it was something you needed to be there for but it was so farcical, I just kep imagining a tidal wave of jam swoooshing down the main road

Ahem, anyway if I don't speak to you before have a great time in Krakow and remember to take a scarf...and I'll be checking how long it takes you to unpack when you return
Bye

Hello!

*waves back vigorously*

Well... 9am most days. 10am on Friday. Actually my alarm's been going off at 6am. And then another one at 6:20am, because one alarm just doesn't work at that time of day. (And apparently two alarms is insufficient when I've been in the bar until 3:30am...) Not only do I have to be up and awake and showered and stuff, but I also have to do some preparation for the day (working out what on earth it is I'm going to be talking about, that kind of thing - normally I wouldn't bother, but when you're standing up in front of 40 people armed with a microphone, people have this annoying habit of actually listening...well, for the first 10 minutes or so anyway), and I try to get there for 8:30 so if any students have got down early and want to ask questions, I can be there...

Nope, never been to Poland at all before. Am also flying back via Warsaw. I'm not stopping there, but it's important due to a running competition between me and my housemates over who's been to the most capital cities in the world. I'm on something like 11, and this one gives me the lead, but only briefly - one of them's off to Washington DC fairly soon. But I'm looking forward to Krakow - another guy from my company went a couple of weeks ago (we sold them 2 courses, so I'm doing the second one) and said it was really good. So I'm looking forward to it.

So are you doing 8 new books, or do you get to do the same 4 as last year plus 4 new ones?.. You mean computers can do something useful other than email? Wow! Like what? Anyway, the news from Sidney's admissions tutor sounds great!

I could have sworn the last F1 race of the season wasn't going to be in Shropshire, but I'm sure you're right. Shropshire's one of those places I can never remember where it is. I have absolutely no idea which end of the country it's in. Anyway, you could try telling your dad that you'll drive flat out all the way so it wouldn't take all that long anyway.

*Looks out of random window* What cow? Oh, of course I can't see it - it's escaped.

I think that scene in Kubrick's film 'The Shining' where the blood comes pouring out of the escalator would have been much better if it was jam. You've convinced me.

Remember to take a scarf? Hmm... That would involve buying a scarf. I was planning just to freeze. Actually the company I'm going out to teach is putting me up in the company apartment which I believe is on the same site as the company, so I probably don't need to go outside at all. But I'll probably try and make it as far as the interesting bits of Krakow at some point. Still, I can always do what I did last time I failed to pack anything warm - I hadn't realised how cold Boston gets in March, so I just bought a fleece whilst I was out there...

I'm now going out to buy a new suitcase - otherwise I'll have to unpack from last week before I can pack for next week.

Hiya!
*waves back again whilst wondering how long she can keep waving for*

You manage to wake up with just 2 alarms normally? Wow, I use five (3 have snooze buttons so technically 8) scattered in varying locations around my bedroom so that when one goes off you then actually have to move thus be awake to turn the next one off before going to my desk to turn that one off, then there's one on my bookcase then finally there's one right by the door with the most annnoying ring ever in order to ensure that I actually get up at sometime on the same day

*looks enviously at bloke going to Krakow and Warsaw*
I'm going to Iceland later that might count...and they have penguins and an abundance of chocolate cake and potato wedges, I'll bet Poland doesn't have them... Although Poland has so many sights of interest,*wonders whether to metion architecture and sights of historical interest, decides as an 18 year old it's probably best not to* Anyway I'd say have a brilliant time but saying that is foolish as you would anyway so hmmm...is it possible to tell that I only woke up about 2 hours ago and my brains not in gear yet

*sits and munches on chocolate to wake her up*
Hmmm In my lit course I'm actually reading 7 new books and Othello again...which is poor as Othello was studied until it died last year so being forced to do it again may well send me into a deep sleep for the majority of the course...still at least I can use all the same essays again Computers can provide hours and hours of distraction from more important and dull things to do (such as UCAS forms ) purely by allowing me to spend hours and hours shouting at them and hitting them with a halibut *obligatory halibut movement*...but other than that they have no use

And obviously you're confused about the last F1 race of course it's being held in Shropshire, were else would it be...As for where Shropshire is I'm sorry to do this to you but you're going to have to picture Birmingham (don't do this for too long though as it's not recommended) and then go left a bit and then you have Shropshire. Hopefully I don't actually have to go through Birmingham in order to get there or else I may be forced to keep my eyes shut whilst squealing throughout and that would probably be an ineffective way of driving

Jam in The Shining...now that would be good, and in Amitiville Horror where the goo squirts all over the plumber...that could be significantly improved with strawberry jam to Anyway I'm glad the story wasn't just one of the things you had to be there for as it really was so funny and everytime anyone mentions jam my friend and I both just crack up...I think it's going to be like the "Camping in Hope", "Beyond Hope", "Walking in Hope" thing that never fails to amuse us but is completely unfunny to the rest of the world

You don't have a scarf *prepares to look incredulous but then realises that she doesn't have scarf either*...how about a hat? You could take a woolly hat and gloves...everyone has gloves, well one glove normally but you could swop it between handsActually this reminds me of something vaguely amusing, I saw in one of those trashy catalogues which keep being sent to me (can't think why, I'd never buy anything foolish...) that you can now buy a set of three gloves so that when you loose one you still have enough left to wear

Anyway have fun in Krakow and if a scarf is beyond you at least take a jumper
Bye

Hi!

*changes arm then carries on waving*

Well I usually find that a hotel wake up call is at least as effective as 2 alarms on its own for the first couple of days - different and new noises wake me up faster. But by the end of the week its effectiveness is reduced. And given that I only made it in for 10am on Friday, I think it's fairly clear that 2 is in fact not enough. I've never used more than 3, but then I oversleep quite a lot... I've found that the ones you need to get out of bed to turn off are no good - I shut them up then leap straight back into bed to escape the horribleness of the outside world, and promptly fall back to sleep. An alarm by the bed with a snooze button is more effective eventually. (And of course even when I'm unconscious I'm not stupid enough to hit the snooze button on an alarm I have to get out of bed to reach - otherwise I'd have to get out a second time, which would obviously be bad. )

*has strange feeling someone's looking at him; odd - doesn't seem to be anyone around*
I'm only going to be in Warsaw for 40 minutes, so it's not that exciting. However a friend of mine is of Polish descent and has just got back from Krakow, so he's sending me a list of places to go and eat. Actually I just spoke to him, and somewhat improbably he recommended Pizza Hut! When I asked him to explain himself, he told me that it's in a rather spectacular building, so it's worth it for the sense of misplaced restaurant. (Clearly it's not for the food.)

I thought Othello was a board game with bits of black and white plastic. I'm aware of computers being able to provide hours of distraction, but I thought that this was mostly through email and the like.

Ah, so nowhere near Cornwall there. It always sounds to me vaguely like it should be somewhere down in the West country, but evidently not. So it can't be *that* far to drive.

Have you seen the episode of The Simpsons where a huge gush of Shining-like blood flows down the corridor? One of the characters looks at it and says "That's strange - the blood usually gets out on the second floor."

I'm good at losing scarves I'm afraid. I wore one a lot at college (it's bleedin' cold in Cambridge, so I hope you know what you're applying to let yourself in for) but it wasn't always mine - I owned a couple, but then got through a variety of college scarves bought by friends of mine in a fit of misplaced collegiate loyalty during their first term, and which they were now a bit embarrassed about wearing, and so didn't mind me losing them... I do own a woolly hat, but I've not seen it recently - as I think I mentioned it's been ages since I've done much walking, and I don't wear one much otherwise. And the only gloves I've got are driving gloves. They probably would keep out the cold too, but they might look a bit strange. So these Zaphod Beeblebrox glove sets, is the 3rd glove for the left or right hand? Or do you get to choose based on which you think you're most likely to lose?

Will do my best to have fun in Krakow. I would promise to send you a postcard, but I'm guessing that "Tinkerbell, Sneffiela' wouldn't get there.

Hellooooooo!!!
*decides to show off and continues to wave with the same arm before wondering whether to use her mini lightsabre to make it more fun*

A hotel wake up call as in someone wandering into your room or as in a buzzery type thing? I can appreciate that the first would work but the latter would have no chance of waking me up The only thing that wakes me up is the phone as it's right next to my bed.Sadly this has begun to work to my disadvantage as my mates have worked out that if they ring whilst they know I'll still be asleep then I'll be so groggy that I tend to agree to anything which is how I ended up catching a bus into Sneffiela at 8am the other week. As for going back to bed after turning alarms off I worked out how to get round it as I got a free gift alarm clock from the trashy catalogues when I bought something even worse. The thing is it's in the shape of a chicken and has the loudest and the most awful/tacky/horrendous cockadoodling noise which is followed by this cheery American voice of "Good Morning". The only way that I can avoid hearing the awful noise is to get up before it goes off, thus after the first four alarm clocks have gone off I actually leap out of bed in order to smash the chicken thing. But it works, I'm still late for everything but at least I'm normally awake on time And the snooze buttons never work at all, every ten minutes the radio starts I hit it and then go back to sleep, after two hours it stops trying and I wake up several hours later having missed the whole morning I've often wondered about those lights that are meant to simulate dawn as when I'm camping I always wake up at dawn so in theory it should be very effective but I don't see how the light would wake you, especially as my pillows next to the window so I wouldn't even notice the light had lit in the first place...I think maybe I'm a lost cause and will be stuck with the awful chicken for ever

*stares intently at the bloke going to Warsaw and Krakow*
Pizza Hut? mmmm garlic and mushroom Pizza... Actually it has to be said that when I was in Trier they had a McDonalds there and as there was no-one else seemingly serving food my friend and I went in there and the food was actually edible, the quarter pounders seemed to be made of real meat and had actual salad in them rather than the odd and icky gherkin and the bread was bread...it was so disturbing but then we found a German chocolate shop and soon forgot about it

Anyway it shouldn't be too hard to wake up in Krakow, particularly if you're near the centre as then you'll get to hear the bugle go off from the church tower every hour Aaah just thing the sound of bugle's thoughout the night, how relaxing Although if it's still there you'll be able to go and look at the worlds only 16th century Arras tapastry's in the castle...or it could be the cathedral I forget, anyway that could provide interest if you like that sort of thing

Why am I the only one who hasn't heard of Othello the board game? Many (ok 2...well one person twice) people have referred to this and claim you can play it on graphic calculators too but I've never (ok for the past month) understood how...mind you it was only after I'd pushed all the buttons on my claculator that I managed to work out how to plot graphs but then it was mathematically related so I think my brain was just trying to save me from trauma

Shropshire does sound like it's in Cornwall or posibly near Norfolk but that's probably just to disguise the fact that it's next to Birmingham. I don't think it's far to drive to at all, I've done half the distance and back again which is clearly the same as all the way there but thats not why I'm not allowed to use the car. My mate has come up with a good plan in that it was a week before my dad finally noticed I'd passed my test and that was only because I told him so despite the fact I'd been brumming all over the place, so we reckon I could just take the car and he'd not actually notice it was gone

I haven't actually seen that Simpsons episode but then I only get to see the random repeats which the BBC choose to show and I think we've only just started with the second season...still another 10 years and I might be there

O.K I live near Sneffiela and you're telling me it's cold in Cambridge? It's so evident you've not spent much time in the north
You don't wear a woolly hat, not even when playing in the snow and building snow men or making snow angels and igloos? *realises that that maybe something which not everyone does so shuts up*
Hmmm, I didn't think to look which hand it was, now I come to think of it that would be a distinct flaw in the plan

I reckon 'Tinkerbell Sneffiela' would have to get somewhere... maybe 'Fiona, Sneffiela'? That might work...my mate once sent someone a Cream egg through the post and that got delivered, admittedly that's entirely irrelevant but still

Anyway Bye

Hello!!!
*comes in looking mildly annoyed and waves*

I just spent 3 hours typing a reply to your message, I saved it, wandered off, came back and the whole thing has vanished...my saved file is just a blank sheet of paper...hohum...

Anyway, just thought I'd tell you that so you didn't think I was ignoring you, I'll retype it all again tomorrow...
Until then,
Bye,
Fiona

Hi!

*looks sheepish* How come *you're* worried about looking like you're ignoring me when I'm the one who hasn't replied for over two weeks!

Sorry for the prolonged absence, although you know where I was for at least some of it, despite the best efforts of Poland's less than totally dependable mobile phone networks. As for the week and a bit since I got back, well part of it I spent catching up on stuff that I had to do which had fallen behind due to 2 weeks spent away teaching. But towards the latter half I was celebrating my birthday. (Or should that be trying to get drunk enough not to notice that I'm not even older!) In theory my birthday was on Saturday, but I went down to London on Thursday, and have been seeing a variety of friends for lunch and/or drinks, came back to Cambridge on the last train on Saturday night (which I almost missed...) and then carried on doing much the same kind of thing during Sunday. Surprisingly I didn't feel too bad yesterday.

Anyway, to reply to your message of two weeks ago...

*v jealous about mini-lightsabre*

A hotel wake-up call is where the phone in your hotel room rings at a time previously arranged with the front desk. These things are usually computer-based, and a little inconsistent - some places will carry on calling you at the same time for your entire stay, which can come as a bit of a shock if you didn't actually want that, others you need to request the call afresh every day (also potentially annoying if you forget), and some call you for half the week and then just stop... Very occasionally I get to stay in a hotel which has yet to be spoilt by a massive chain (not telling you where - suspect that the likes of Hilton and Thistle are monitoring entire internet to look for few remaining hotels that they can suck the character out of - see my (rejected) article on hotel plumbing), and sometimes these places do wake up calls by having a member of staff with a list, a clock and a phone...

I can recommend switching your mobile phone off at night, as a sure fire means of stopping people from calling you when you're asleep. Works like a charm. The chicken sounds like an interesting approach. My sister has a horse alarm clock, which makes a cartoon-like sound of a horse galloping followed by a most unconvincing 'neigh' (for Frankie Howard fans), and then repeats, getting louder each time... My brother in law hates this alarm clock. I think it forces him out of the bed in much the same way as your chicken... As for dawn - well I've noticed that I have a much easier time getting up if I just leave the curtains open so the room's full of light by the time I need to be awake. Doesn't work so well in winter of course.

Well I managed to go the entire week without having anything trashy like a McDonalds or Pizza Hut in Krakow. In fact I very nearly managed 100% Polish cuisine. The only night I failed on this was on Friday when I was out with some of the students, and they didn't particularly want Polish cuisine. So we had Corsican cuisine instead, which was OK because I've never had anything advertising itself thus before. Was very good. But the Poles certainly know how to cook cabbage. And that's better than it sounds. But this does mean I don't know what McD's is like in Poland. I'm beginning to suspect that the UK gets a singularly bad deal from MacDonald's (how many different ways can I spell it?) because on the occasions I've had one in different countries, they've always been better. These days I only have them out of desparation - having got used to *really* good burgers as a student (there was a fabulous burger bar a whole 30 second walk from the entrance to my college - Gardenia's on Rose Crescent just off the market square if you happen to be in the vicinity (which you presumably will be since you're reapplying to Sidney)) and the first time I had a MacDonald's after getting used to decent burgers, it was a sorely disappointing experience.

The bugle is sadly not audible outside of the market square, and as I think I mentioned, I was out in a suburb anyway. But as it happens I managed to be on time every day. Just.

Othello was a moderately popular board game in the 1980s, which is why I know it. I think it's often called something else now - current Nokia phones have the game but I think it's called Reverse or something equally bland. I suspect this has something to do with political correctness.

Could always rent a car. Although I think this gets tricky/expensive if you're under 21... So, joyriding it is.

I keep hearing these claims that it's cold up North. It is true that I've not spent much time there so maybe I've just been lucky so far, but I've heard far more complaints that it's cold in Cambridge, and that's from people from all over the place, not just London... And I'm not making it up when I say that the prevailing winds blow in directly to Cambridge from Siberia.

So addressing things to 'Fiona, Sneffiela' works if I wrap it around a cream egg? Put it inside the egg? Well it's too late now - am back from Krakow, and besides I sent you the odd SMS, so what more do you want?

Bye for now, Ian

Wow.
I am impressed by that post.

Followed you home from the F.'n Firkin... don't be alarmed!

Dropped in a few weeks ago and there was no-one about. As usual, that didn't stop me from having a good time. Seem to have upset some o' the lads with me wee flute, but there, what's new in the world.

Your's was the first message to follow my last post so I've come to see who's Tinkerbell. Maybe we can meet back there for a <> or several.
cheers,
~LD

It's "strangers in the record-breaking forum" time again! (We quite often get this thread onto the top of the h2g2 stats page, mostly on grounds of extreme verbosity...) I think Tinkerbell's post 82 is the most impressive on this page, but there are some truly heroic ones further back in the thread!

Post 82? I think you'll find that your reply was longer Hence my pride when I'd finally finished replying to it...
*growls at computer*
G-Raaar! I'm not happy with it you see...hours it took me

Anyway, latch isn't a stranger, go in the F&F, with the stranger in town (oh wait technically he is a stranger then) and read my nice discussion about Britney Speares covers...although in his defence he wasn't involved in that

I might put a link to that info page actually (you notice how even when replying to three lines I can still create a completely disjointed message, it's a skill ) so that if my computer ever finds my reply then it can sit proudly at the top of it I can also show off my newly found GuideML skills (cutting and pasting ) in that I can now add links and pretty pictures

Fiona
Oh and btw why didn't you mention it was your biffday I could have sung...oh wait never mind

Err, was it? Oh, OK - I usually feel a bit guilty that my replies tend to be shorter than yours, so I didn't think that I might have got the longest post on a page!

By the way, you'll get post number 100 in this thread when you reply, so long as nobody leaps in!

Ah, OK, latch is a stranger to me, but that's mostly because I've hardly been around h2g2 at all for the last month or two.

Didn't think you could do GuideML in forum posts. Or has that changed while I've been away too?

*waves at post 100*
oooh
*grins*
Well that makes up for repeatedly sleeping through post 1000 in the F&F

Guilty? Really? I tend to feel guilty that my posts are just full of trash and waffle which means you have to read through it in order to find the small part of relevance But I definitely recall being impressed at your 8 page long message...
*sighs*
Was more impressive when I managed to reply to it...especially as it took 6 weeks

GuideML in forums?
*laughs*
You think I'd know that? The person who can't even save a file on a hard drive Anyway I meant on my page...points upwards, see it has a pretty picture and another less pretty one that seems to be a morphed rollerskate in an empty fairy town but it made me laugh