h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

found this at another forum.

Mental Health really isn't something that we should take lightly, but I believe that we should be able to laugh at anything...

Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline

-If you have obsessive compulsive disorder press 1 repeatedly.

-If you are co-dependent get someone to press 2 for you.

-If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5 & 6.

-If you have paranoia we know what you're up to. Stay on the line while we trace your call.

-If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

-If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no-one will answer.

-If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

-If you have a nervous disorder, please fiddle with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

-If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, National Insurance Number and your mother's maiden name.

-If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

-If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

I've seen that before and it makes me laugh, and I suffer depression so making me laugh is a good thing

I must admit it always raises a laugh with me too...

well, if we can't laugh at ourselves, the world would be in an even more sorry state.

Well, I know a few people who can't laugh at themselves

Thanks...

B'Elana, Germans don't count, we all know they have no sense of humour

Ok, you're right - but who said I was talking about Germans ?

There are some Brits and denfinatly some Americans who have a sense of humour removal at some point in their lives

Ouch, B'Elana

I know so many people who wouldn't know a joke if it jumped up and bit them on the nose that it's depressing

thank goodness for h2g2!

What is this "sense of humour" of which you speak?

RF

p.s. I see Galaxy Babe's gone back to being Galaxy Babe...

Sorry Sho, you seem to know all the wrong people then

no worries...
most people I know are invisible...

I was worried for a moment, thinking of Harvey and little voices whispering in your ear etc.
But you're right again, so are most people I know

Yes that one's a goody.

I'm still giggling at the Norn Irn stand-up comic I saw on Friday night, whose monologue went:

"I can't say too much.

Cos I know they're on to me.

I was walking down the street the other day, past a big map with a big red arrow that said 'You are here'.

Now - how did they know that?"

Aww, that reminds me of the joke where the blonde is doing her shopping when her mobile rings. She answers it and says : that's magic, how did you know that I was at Aldi's

A blonde driving a VW Beetle breaks down, she looks under the bonnet to find there's no engine, she sits down and starts to cry. Another blonde in a VW Beetle pulls up and asks her what's wrong "My engine's gone, there's nothing there anymore" "Oh don't worry, I've got a spare one in the boot" says the other

at the last jokes.

It took me a day to get the one about the cellphone.



What ever happened to the braincells of yesteryear?

there's an ad running on Virgin Radio which goes something like this:

are you finding that you're feeling more tired? That you don't have enough time? That you are shoutig more than before?

then you've got
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