h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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Avy: Sorry about that, but that conduct was unbecoming of a hero. I had to do SOMETHING

Zeb: Well that's ONE thing we can agree on...

Avy: Eh?

Zeb: ...That all innuendo is DISGUSTING in the context of the greasy, furless humanoids.

Avy: Hmm. Judging by your bad attitude, bad taste in clothing, and bad attempt at looking like yours truly, am I correct in assuming that you would be my doppleganger from this universe?

Zeb: Yes. Yes, that would be correct. Now get yer butt outta my reality, before I bust out some PAIN.

Avy: You know, I really have no objection to leaving and returning to my own world.

Zeb: Huh??

Avy: Nope. None whatsoever. I think it's best if neither of us meddle with realities to which we do not belong.

Zeb: Hmm. Okay... I didn't think you would be this EASY about it-...

Avy: BUT, I suppose that a climactic showdown between the two of us is INEVITABLE. I mean, that ALWAYS seems to happen in these sorts of situations.

Zeb: True...

Avy: Well, far be it from me to try and fight the inevitable...

Zeb: Aww, thanks. I was disappointed when I thought you weren't gonna fight...

*Has really forgotten where he was so he now is leaning against the remants of the bar and looking out over the scene pleased to see the vast drop in the number of alter-selves*

Thank you avy I was about to have to start throwing things and if you are going to have a cross-dimensional battle may I suggest moving it somewhere not already structuarly weakend *motions to the surroundings* What with all the dimensional energies and such I'm afraid the area would not far well.

Jeeves: A drink sir?
UH: bduh!bduh!bduh!bduh!

RedSky considers trowing a bottle at some one but desidets do pass out insted

UH: bduhbduhbduh

.............

.............

.............

.......................

yep.........

RedSky opens his eyes roles over and gurgles then fals unconsus agen

*NYC decides this lull in the battle to take out a 5-iron and start playing golf with redsky's head*

[NYC] FOUR!

*WHACK*

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's a long arching hit...with some good air....one never would have guessed teeth could go like that....and ohhh, it's heading for the vent pipe... it looks like it might be a hole in one......... AND IT IS!!!! NYC STUDENT WINS THE TITANIC BATTLE PART 2's GOLF TOURNAMENT!!!!!!!!

where are my fellow heros when I need them

Zeb: HEY!! THAT'S ONE OF *MY* MOVES!!

*can't remember what's going on, thinks she must still be hiding from the uncles, continues to do so*

UH: bduh bduh bduh *the battery runs out. UH comes spinning to a halt*

*NYC takes Avy by the neck, and chucks him across the forum over to Zeb. He gets up, brushes himself off, adjusts the position of his nose, and marches over to UH*

[NYC] *grinning*

[UH] Just what are you so happy about?

[NYC] I see you got a rocket in your pocket.

[UH] What the devil are you talking about? Are you insinuating...

*UH peers down to see a bottle rocket, with some rather dangerous-looking fireworks sticking out of it, inserted in his pocket*

[UH] Why you...

*NYC runs for cover*

ho S**T!

In mid run NYC is stoped by a shovel that was intradust to his face by RedSky who, alto stil havely dosen't like golf muce and has forgothen what a bottle rocet dose. then he takes up a posison above the prone NYC and hopes he tries to stand up agen

Avy: That part of the forum looks exceedingly dangerous.

Zeb: Indeed it does.

Avy: Shall we...?

Zeb: ...Begin a desperate stuggle over there, punching and biting and generally fighting dirty, each trying to force the other into the line of fire of the rockets even while the fuse rapidly dwindles?

Avy: Indeed. That seems to be the way MOST of these one-on-one fights go, traditionally.

Zeb: Well, alrighty.

*Redsky looks down at the prone NYC, waiting for an excuse to lay waste with his shovel. NYC probes his skull for cracks while serruptitiously pulling out a baseball bat of his own. NYC whacks Redsky upside the head in a resounding pitch of satisfaction, and jumps to his feet*

*peeks out of hiding place, sees bottle rocket in heavy's pocket, grins widely. giggles are heard*

*evillene sneaks behind heavy and puts a stick of dynamite in his other pocket*

*the rocket goes off, but UH is still attached by the drill to the wall, and he is fired at hyper speed into it. There is now an UH shaped hole in the wall*