h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[U2 - With or Without You (1988)]

Seems a long time since we had a chat. How's college going?

B

College? Oh fine fine, short week this week as Shelia isn't in this week and we were in Edinburgh on a field trip on Monday which was fun. Had a nice week just kinda plodding along, I mean fun Monday for a change, Tuesday I was horribly accident prone and kept dropping things, first my water pot all over the floor to the hilarity of everyone because of my wisecracking tutor (nice guy but sometime you can bring something up too many times) and today well in the words of a certain washing powder ad, "it was painting today mummy!"


Yeah it has been a while, you kinda went all quiet on me, knew I shouldn't have sent that pic.

anyhow I gotta go first time online in a good few days and I've got stuff to do.

Well, it does sound like you're having fun. Albeit by dropping things.

"knew I shouldn't have sent that pic"

Rubbish - it's framed and on my wall.

B

Well it is fun, mmm i wish I could have stopped it yesterday, I kept doing it, water pots, pens, papers, MDs...I drop things loads at the moment.

I'd claim that your brain is on higher things if I were you; that'll sound convincing.

Mind you, what do I know? I was told, in the course of an argument today that I know nothing about art, by an Art-teacher-to-be at my school.

B

what's the point in that when you're a congenital idiot?

yes you probably know very little about art

You sound very convinced. Just because I'm a scientist doesn't mean I can't appreciate good composition and an eye for detail.

B

Yes but then again just because I have difficulty spelling and writing doesn't mean I don't appreciate literature...doesn't necessarily mean I know anything about it however.

just because you're a scientist or a mathemtician or an english student etc doesn't mean you don't understand art any more or less than an art student, no one looks at art or indeed anything exactly the same way, take now we appreciate peoples looks...there's a reason why you fancy one person and not another...

art is different to everyone...and I wasn't convinced I was having a joke in the same way I hope you were having a joke at my spelling and grammar.

I'm sorry if it wasn't taken that way.

Nah - I know you wre only mucking about. Art is very subjective after all.

I used to think that good literature was the opposite and quite objective, but BBC's Big Read is proving me very, very wrong.

B

SorryI just get really het up by people commenting on my spelling or grammar or indeed other peoples. I mean I was saying hi to someone a few days ago and someone left a message complaining about one of their guide entries saying they had appaulling spelling and they should try and learn how too...the guy has dyslexia for christ's sake!

And I mean I'm not badly dyslexic, borderline to mildly, but it affects my spelling and grammar etc and I mean when I was in Primary school I didn't learn to read and write until I was 7 because no one took notice that I was dyslexic or had problems they just thoughht I was thick, so I got etc lessons for reading and writing and I got extra lessons for my speech problems too (I couldn't pronounce th's at all so instead of they or the or thud I'd say day, du and fud.) But I'm a bloody minded cow and can't stand people thinking I've got problems so I worked my ass off and ended up with the highest grade you can get in Higher English. And I just get pissed when people rip the piss, it's not funny and it makes my blood boil.

Why? I think they've got some smashing books in the list. And this is coming from someone who's only read about 11 proper books in her life that didn't involve huge childrens text or indeed photographs in Art books.

So you won't find the following joke very funny then?

A chap walks into the doctors and says: "Doctor! I can't pronounce any words beginning with 'f' or 't-h'"

"Can't say fairer than that, then." says the doctor...

B

okay that's an evil joke, but made me laugh.

the th thing doesn't bother me too much anymore, no one notices it other than me actually, but you know what it's like you keep making simple mistakes it's frustrating...

I wish I hadn't mentioned all that sh*t in the other forum, the other EMily keeps going off on one, I wish she would just shut up.

That's a bit harsh. Emily's a lovely girl.

OK, she's sleeping with Uncle Heavy, but I think we can safely put that down to an error of judgment.

B

yeah well she had a go at me a while back which hchanged my mind on her...look I have nothing against the girl she just rubs me up the wrong way a bit, I'd never do anything or say anything to her, but it's just the way I feel.