h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

as i'm a total newby can you take a look at my first entry into the guide please, its the one labled perils of... thanks

First of all:
For course I'll look over your entry

Second:
Ask for help whenever you need, I'm on my summer holidays so I've got plenty of time for h2g2.

Thirdly:
Guide entries are personal opinion, write what you want and about any subject, it's yours and no one can take it away from you. You might get a little bit of nidgering from some researchers but the point of entries are they're conversation starters. And don't worry if no one looks at them, I've got loads of entries on barely any of them have people posting entries.

Fourthly:
Take your time with Guide Entries, don't rush, it doesn't matter if they lie dormant for weeks or even years, no one will judge you on that...like I said me loads of entries...none edited

Right HELP:
1) You need an "I" in your first sentence between "years" and "was"
2) You need to check your I's as some are "i"
3) Between your paragraphs

"It was the way she smiled at me for the next five years and the fact i could hear her giggle as we passed..."

and

"My ex wifes worst momment was when she was giving birth to our first child. There were problems and a paediatrician was called to the delivery room."

it jumps, you need to make a connection between events, I realise the "..." is the link but you may want to think about a "however" somewhere for emphasis

4) Spelling (nit picking as your entry is really good)
friday - Friday
casuality - casualty
duely - duly
attactive - attractive
greatful - grateful
couldnt - couldn't
ex wifes - ex-wife's
momment - moment
begining - beginning

Apart from that I think you've got a really good entry.
Hope that helps
EMXX