h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello! I'm here to drop a link to the UnderGuide version of 'Undies, God and Condoms':

A39489556

At the moment, there are two versions on there - the first is untouched apart from the two asterisked-out words and the fact that it has been put into GuideML.

The second has been tinkered with just a bit - there's a few things you can do in GuideML (italics, for instance) you can't otherwise do, there's also a bit of tinkering with the punctuation and so on in places.

Normally, I'd go through the whole thing and ask each time, but with a piece of writing like this I'm reluctant to do too much to it anyway - and risk losing the flavour - and the main thing here is that, because this is the UnderGuide, you get the final say. So if you want it left the way it was, that's fine; if you want to reject some of the tinkering but keep other bits, also fine...

There were just two biggies I wanted to point out.

Line two - I think the 'Catholic's do need the capitals: 'catholic in friends' and 'Catholic in friends' would mean almost exactly opposite outcomes, but it may have been the first you meant? Commas in there also?

The line immediately following "It sounds like K, Dada" - I only got what was going on there having read your comments in the thread. How about a new sentence and a dash after rubber, maybe even a question mark? So:

"A rubber - no me? No me, Mum's ok... no me? Jesus Dada!"

(Otherwise, on first reading, it sounds as though the speaker is denying she was saying the word or somesuch.)

As I say, you can ask me to leave it entirely alone , tinker with it yourself... you're the boss

Hi Trin thanks for 'tinkering' with it, I don't have a problem with version two.
Yes I think capitalised Catholic would be best.

As for the 'K' line: I was speaking condom aloud to myself in my Aussie drawl and it sounded like Kondom and I was trying to get across the point that Catholics (devout ones at least) won't use them and to a man so wrapped up in his religion they would be anathema to him. Also I had trouble over what to call a condom. I settled on Rubber which was in common parlance when I was a lad but perhaps I should change it for something that the audience here will recognise?
I need to get that point across as it's central to finishing off this rather odd bit of scribbling.

I'm all ears to any suggestions on this.

The 'K' line itself works just fine, I think, as does why that C word is not the C word the reader thought it was going to be. It's just the transition to the next line.

I always thought just 'rubber' on its own was American - and Australian too? - in Ireland and Britain you'd go from the full 'Rubber Johnny' to just 'Johnny' rather than 'rubber'.

"A Rubber Johnny, no me, no me..."? That might work.

To tell the truth I have no idea what a condom is called these days. rubber i vaguely remember from my school days although 'Franger' was more popular at the time. I've no idea where franger comes from.

"Johnny": is it still extant or just in your memory then, would a more up to date title be preferred or are we splitting hairs?

Maybe fore go the euphemism and just call it a condom?

I must ask my kids what they're called now, they'll know fer sure.

I've changed it to just 'condom' - have a look and see what you think.

(Just my two penn'orth, but if it's the child's voice, playing with 'K K K Condom' in the previous line, it makes sense that she'd stick with that word, no?)

Unless your kids have come up with something only they have heard of in the meantime All for a bit of wilful mystification

Phew! It's 6am here and reading that so early in the morning is quite a wake up .

Yes, I don't think its taken anything away from it it might even of made it a bit clearer.

I wonder how it will go out on the FP when it gets there.

Good morning Keith..reading that so early in the morning is quite a wake up..so wife run out of aspirins then,? better things to do waking up at this time..than logging in here..

Ha-ha-ha Mr Bear. Fancy this getting a go a here eh.

Next up... the UG version of 'Shashtars and Dhambouras'

A51616028

Which, aside from a bit of formatting, is unchanged.

And is excellent, by the way. The turn to the 'gentle luthier' is especially fine. I haven't been around the AWW for a while, so I hadn't had the chance to read it before.

Umm, you've lost me, I'm afraid. I'd thought this had had it's day in the sun a while back.