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echomikeromeo Started conversation Nov 21, 2005
Thanks so much for offering to sub my dear Julio-Claudians! I haven't quite finished yet, as I haven't written the entry on Nero, but that should happen in the next couple of days. I'll let you know when everything's finished!
SchrEck Inc. Posted Nov 22, 2005
echomikeromeo Posted Jan 13, 2006
Okay, they're *finally* finished! I'm just waiting to see if any comments surface on the submission thread and then I'll ask the italics to hand over the editing rights.
Just so you're aware, once you're finished subbing the project goes in Peer Review, where you'll have to make any of the changes that we decide to incorporate. After a week (or the cessation of comments) the project is removed and then can be front-paged.
Thanks for agreeing to help!
SchrEck Inc. Posted Jan 13, 2006
echomikeromeo Posted Jan 28, 2006
SchrEck Inc. Posted Feb 8, 2006
echomikeromeo Posted Feb 9, 2006
Well, I've only got time to look at Augustus and Tiberius just now - it's been a hell of a week.
This is going to get incredibly nit-picky and I don't remember anymore which phrases are mine, but in Augustus I don't particularly like "A practical reign of terror ensued..." Could it be "What was essentially a reign of terror ensued..." or something like that?
"to detract from the fact that he was in fact opposing Antony."
Too many 'facts', I think. Could you take out the second 'in fact'?
"everyone who had in any way been linked with Sejanus was tried and usually executed."
Could it say "and for the most part executed" instead?
echomikeromeo Posted Feb 11, 2006
I've got a few things for Caligula:
"the sensational rumour that circulated about the emperor — much of it quite shocking."
Could this be plural? i.e. "the sensational rumours... most of them quite shocking." There was, after all, more than one rumour.
In footnote 6:
"to ride on his conquest of Britain." --> "to ride *during* his conquestion of Britain."
"Caligula's uncle, the hapless Claudius"
Could we say the *apparently* hapless Claudius? He wasn't really all that dim-witted; he just pretended to be.
And in Claudius:
"He learned enough from his varied reading that, when he became the Emperor, he was able to learn enough tactics to command the Roman Army despite having never been into battle before."
Too many 'learns', I think. Could we say "he was sufficiently familiar with military tactics..."?
I'm only halfway through Claudius at this point, but I have to turn off my computer just now, so I'll be back soon...
Thanks once again for all your help.
echomikeromeo Posted Feb 12, 2006
Okay, I'm back...
"Though Claudius appears to have tried to make a decent emperor"
tried to *be* a decent emperor, surely?
In footnote 5:
"...as a look at English Common Law or a look at the Latin inscriptions on buildings will tell you."
The second "a look at" seems redundant; I think it could just be removed.
"Caligula had promoted many people to the rank of senator who did not deserve to be senators6 and was wont to execute people who had committed petty crimes."
I think footnote 6 should be incorporated into the text, so that it reads something like:
"Caligula had promoted many who did not deserve to be senators to that rank, including his favourite horse, Incitatus. He was also wont to execute people who had committed petty crimes."
In the discussion of Messalina, I think "and had two children by her" should be "and had two children *with* her".
And then in Nero:
"for in 39 AD Caligula banished Agrippina to a distant island."
I think it ought to say something like "Caligula, who was then the emperor..." so that the sequence will make sense to people who haven't read all five entries.
Under "Tigellinus and Poppaea", "...the wife of Nero's friend Otho" could read "the wife of *his* friend Otho", as Nero's already been mentioned in that sentence.
"Nero was in fact quite bad at all these diversions."
Do you think "poor" would be a better word? I'm not sure.
In the "Nero's Downfall" section, "anyone who Nero took against" should be "anyone whom Nero took against".
I think that's it! When you're ready, we can pop the project in Peer Review!
echomikeromeo Posted Feb 21, 2006
Great! I'm putting the project page in PR, then!
The PR thread's at F48874?thread=2323113 - you'll have to be on hand so that you can make any suggested edits. Hope you don't mind - thanks again so much for your help!
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- 1: echomikeromeo (Nov 21, 2005)
- 2: SchrEck Inc. (Nov 22, 2005)
- 3: echomikeromeo (Jan 13, 2006)
- 4: SchrEck Inc. (Jan 13, 2006)
- 5: echomikeromeo (Jan 28, 2006)
- 6: SchrEck Inc. (Jan 30, 2006)
- 7: SchrEck Inc. (Feb 8, 2006)
- 8: echomikeromeo (Feb 9, 2006)
- 9: SchrEck Inc. (Feb 9, 2006)
- 10: echomikeromeo (Feb 11, 2006)
- 11: echomikeromeo (Feb 12, 2006)
- 12: SchrEck Inc. (Feb 21, 2006)
- 13: echomikeromeo (Feb 21, 2006)
- 14: SchrEck Inc. (Feb 22, 2006)