h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Did anyone ever answer your query about whether there were any comedies set in Town Halls? The only one I can think of is The Beiderbecke Affair, and Mine all Mine touched on it too.

Ripe for the plucking, I'd say!
see ya!

Hi Clare.
I know who I am too.
I once knew a councillor who didn't know who he was. He phoned me at work because his wheelie bin had gone missing. He said '' do you know who I am?'' I replied ''no I don't but if you hang on I'll ask around and see if anyone can help''.

No one except you has answered my query. I remember The Beiderbecke Affair it had James Bolam in it. I don't remember it just for that - it made me wonder who is Bix Biederbecke? It entertained me and introduced me to some good music. I don't recall Mine all Mine.

I think Robert Lindsay Was in something about local government chicanery - don't remember what it was called.

You can have a laugh on this site. I started off as a chip shop owner, but eventually gave it up as I ran out of fishy jokes.

Pity it finishes soon.

I'm currently writing a few daft poems:

Song for the Ecosmug

A Town With No Streets

The Wreck of The Cheshire Lines.

I'll foist them upon you sometime

See you at the next episode of the Wheldon Summit Meeting or G8 (Glum 8) as I like to refer to it.

Regards

Steve

G8. Excellent!

Looking forward to your offerings. here's one (for your eyes only) that I wrote in preparation for us not winning last week. But they foiled my plans by letting us win. Doh!


Merseyside 21 Awards.


Merseyside 21 Awards.

And here I would like to record –

we entered of our own accord

(despite Groundwork being so abhorred

and likely to detract, defraud).

I don't know how we could afford

such dinners for such scant reward.

Our triumph was far from secured.

 

A motion still must have been floored

and bills were footed, wine was poured.

Eventually we were inured

to all the speeches we endured

whilst getting plastered, getting bored

as someone yawned, and someone snored.

We won last year, the trophy toured –

in hallowed places it was stored.

 

We thought success would be ensured

but despite habitats restored,

composting projects, well-manured,

native woodland we've matured

recycling points in every ward,

sustainability procured,

I think we may have been… ignored

 

We count the points we should have scored

but somehow, I'm not reassured.

The balance skews, the judgement's flawed,

the speakers squawk the winning chord

the moment's come, the crowds applaud

and in the spotlight, overawed

the winner rises from the hoard,

grinning, brimming, shoulders broad.

 

And are we gutted? Grieving? Gored?

Are our fists knitted? Nails gnawed?

No, our goal is not obscured –

our spirits have not sunk or soared.

We sent our armies, we have warred;

we were not killed, nor were we cured.

And now we sit here stubborn-jawed –

we have not won, but we've endured.


Look! More fish!!

p.s. mine all mine was the recent one about the bloke who turned out to own Swansea (Griff Rhys Jones).

p.p.s. Bix Beiderbeck - 1920's jazz (clarinettist?). I have some of his stuff. I personal fave is 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor'. I kid you not.

Hilarious! This cheered me up, after all I'm only overweight because my heart is heavy due to us not winning. Rest assured your fine work will be kept under wraps.

I love Barnacle Bill The Sailor but alas I ony know the words to the Rugby version.

I like the fish. My Gillie has telephoned me from my Scottish Estate with worrrying news - '' there's nae muckle fush in yon river caaaptan''. Therefore your fish are likely to be the only ones I see this season - they look a bit like small salmon.

...of course the falw in my poem is that it was written BEFORE the event and then Wirral (asa borough) went and won it? Don't you read your intranet/ local papers/ the stars?


Actually, I probably only need to change the last line to: "We have won, and we have endured" or "We shot and we have scored" (although, sadly "The wheel is mightier than the triangle" completely spoils the rhyming pattern). Or, if I lived in Clicheville: "And then we woke up and it had all been a dream!"

Yes but, but, but..... the West Wirral Garden Wasteland Collections made the shortlist. Our dreams where then dashed cruelly when (ALERT I want to mix my metaphores now) they lead us down the garden path, only to p**s on our Begonias. I feel like the 'nearly man'.

It reminded me of the annual coal sack race which took place each Michaelmas Term at my prep school. I finished in last place behind O'Nioins of 1c who suffered with asbestosis contracted when his father had their shooting lodge in South Armagh coated in the stuff to protect it from being burnt down by Republicans. Ketteridge, my valet had prepared my sack but had neglected to empty the half hundred weight of best boiler coke from it. As one could imagine I was at a severe disadvantage from the start.

I did manage to finish the course despite my unwarranted handicap but my showing was considered so poor (after all I was a leading member of the school Lamprey team) that I was immediately sent for by Dr Flogus my house master and school DD*.

Flogus had assembled all 15 members of Eichman House Morale,Fairplay and Punishment Commitee to hear my explanation as to why such a gifted athlete had performed in a manner that would pour shame on the house. On hearing my reasons I was told that the commitee did not consider the circumstances to be in any way a hindrence to a healthy six year old.They then informed me that it was my duty to dismiss my valet and to cut along to matron for a course of anabolic steroids.
*director of discipline.

This all happened a long time ago but it is as if history is now repeating itself.I only read the letters page in The Wirral News, don't get the Globe - what's an intranet? sounds like a cross dressing set up!

My advice; don't go changin it, I like it just the way it is - it's a very adaptable little piece!

Which brings me to Bridget, the bicycle lamp fitters daughter...she was known quite simply as Bridge....mainly because she always came across....