h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There are two competing views of grammar:

One is that there is a 'proper way of speaking'; anything else is poor grammar.

The other is that grammar is simply the way humans put words together. We are incapable of putting together words in a way that doesn't make sense. Therefore grammar is however anyone puts words together.

So...your grammar almost certainly *isn't* appalling, whatever you might have been told, merely 'non standard'.

Yeah...it's fashionable amongst guilty white liberals to talk about 'preserving indigenous ways of life'. But the indigenous people are saying 'Give me a skidoo! Give me central heating! Give me a TV! We can pay...there's lots of oil under our traditional hunting grounds.'

Oops! That last post was meant to go in another thread. Please ignore.

I have a mild learning disorder called dyspraxia which is a sequencing disorder in the brain and means putting things in order is hard. As it is only a mild form of the condition it most typically expresses itself in how I write or speak. Simple really.

Ah! Well in that case your grammar isn't 'appalling' - it's dysfunctional! Still...your'e in good company. George Bush Snr is famously dyspraxic. A dumb person be able to get to be president of the US - like his son - but you need brains to head up the CIA.

Well I didn't know that.