Who is this "me" person anyway?
Hey this is pretty hoopy! I'm writing for the Hitchhikers' Guide. Wow. I wonder if I'll get an expense account like Ford Prefect? Perhaps I can write about some of the planets I've been to. Let's see...
Mercury: Mostly too damn hot.
Venus: Mostly dull.
Mars: Mostly red.
Jupiter: Mostly gas.
Saturn: Mostly rings.
Uranus: Despite it's name, this place has the best techno-dance clubs in the outer spiral arm. The people on Earth think their own clubs are so cool with lasers and flashing lights, but if they would ever bother to get off their little rock and seriously explore the Sol system, they would find Uranus and hang out there. Holograms galore, baby! Besides that, the whole planet is made of platinum ore and diamonds, which are two of the most expensive substances on Earth. Those silly monkeys don't have a clue what they're missing. ;-)
Neptune: Mostly ice.
Pluto: Mostly round.
Rupert: Mostly 1970's interior decorating.
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